Toilet seat wars :/

[LoopyLou1981]

I’m pretty sure ianbu but thought I’d check!

I’m trying to get myself organised with housework (it’s not how I’d choose to spend my time but the state of the house was getting me down). I’m ok with most of the mess being general for a family but one thing is really bugging me.

Dh refuses to lift the toilet seat ‘because his aim is so good he doesn’t need to’ 🤨. Now my new house cleaning regime suggests that his aim definitely isn’t that good and means me scrubbing a grim toilet seat.

Now I’m fine with being the one to do the housework (he works full time, I’m part time and he does do most of the cooking) but I’ve suggested that, if he would like to continue practising his aim, the maybe he would like to take over the toilet cleaning. It’s been a week and no cleaning has been forthcoming so I’ve folded and done it myself.

AIBU to expect him either to lift the toilet seat or clean it he wants it to stay down?! x

It's entirely reasonable to expect your husband to lift the seat, but then he'd just piss on the rim. So make him clean the loo until his aim improves. Easy

Have you got two loos? Leave his for him to clean. Scruffy fecker.

I'm a bloke and I know that no one can aim that we'll. Tell him to stop being a lazy arse and lift the seat (or even better, sit down).

Leave wipes next to the toilet and ask him to use on on the seat/rim every time.

An alternative is to shame him: when you notice he peed on the seat, ask him to come and show him. That should be enough to shame him into doing it.

If not, step 2: ask him if he realizes that expecting his wife to clean his pee is BU, he is a grown man, why does he rely on another person to clean his body fluids? Would he be happy to do this for another adult?

Last resort, imply that if you have to clean his pee it might affect your desire for him.

I have tried and tested this method, and live in a house where the toilet seat and lid are always down, I never find the toilet in a disgusting state, the dirty laundry is always in the basket etc.

Yanbu. How long have you had him? Could you return him and get a refund or a replacement?
Lay down the law or lock the door. It's disgusting to expect others to clean up after your disgusting habits. I recently said to a visitor at our house "if you don't want to wipe your own pee up, what makes you think other people want to? Its disgusting and if you leave a mess like that in my house again, it will be snip snip. I think I got my message across

YANBU. I Agree that you should insist he cleans up after himself. Don’t be fooled that it is just hitting the seat. When we moved into our new house we had a radiator by the loo. I was disgusted to find after a few days that it was spattered with yellow flecks . My DH & DC now sit down to pee after I showed them the exact mess I was cleaning up. I have had many comments about how emasculating this is . IMO if males establish their masculinity by their peeing technique then they need to re-evaluate their perspective.

All users put both seats down in my house. The loo is never left in a disgusting manner. We all leave them as we would wish to find them.
My DH says he sits down on the loo I use most often, to be sure he’s not leaving a mess!

Take photos of every piss drop your dirty DH leaves, and email them to his work email, every time. He’ll get the message loud and clear.
If he drops his clothes on the floor, take pictures of the mess and email them to him also. You can cc in whoever you like!

No excuse if he’s neurotypically normal. He’s just being dirty and lazy, and wrongly thinking he’s more important than anyone else by leaving a mess behind him.

What is he going to do when he’s old and infirm?
Most older people I know are mortified that other people have to clean up after them. What’s up with your young DH? Does he really think it’s ok to be dirty and lazy?

It’s just gross, and very, very unattractive..... very off putting!

I have no idea if my DH has a good standing aim, sits down, or just cleans up.
All I know is that toilet seat is acceptable after he leaves.
Your DH has three options to choose from if he wants to be a civilised human being.
It's up to him which one he chooses.

Option 4 - you cleaning his mess is NOT an option.

Even if he has good aim, sprays/splash backs etc. It's just inconsiderate to not lift

There’s some great ideas on here! A lot of you are a lot braver than I am 😂
The weird thing is, he’s smart, clean and immaculate in every other way (shaven, nice clothes, smart haircut etc)...this is the one sticking point and it drives me nuts!x

Option 5 - remove the seat completely and keep it for yourself.

If he’s not fussed about the rim he has to sit on for number 2’s, great.

Put it to him simply.
The pee needs to be cleaned off loo.
Either the person who peed on seat does it.
Or someone who didn't pee on the seat does the cleaning.
Which does he think is fair?
(supporting photographs might be useful if he denies the seat is wet!)