To hate seating plans

[ApocalypseNowt]

Had a family birthday do to go to this weekend (DH's family). DH had talked to his parents about it before and they said they weren't doing a seating plan.

We were all staying at holiday cottages for the weekend and there was a celebration meal sorted for the saturday night. When we got there IL's started excitedly telling us about the seating plan.

I hate them. I want to sit near DH so I can talk to him. There are also other people I'd really like to talk to. Instead we get seated round the table in alphabetical order. Then after the first course there was a complicated system that no-one understood involving playing cards that meant we had to get up and move around.

I just want to chose where I sit and stay there. I get seating plans when there are a big number or lots of tables but I can't stand them at an ordinary dinner party.

Is it normal to have a seating plan for a dinner party (i don't go to many to be fair)? Am I the only one that hates it and gets anxious about them?

Sure, moan away. Just giving you my opinion, presumably why you started a thread otherwise you could just start a blog.

I think you're an adult and should be able to handle yourself and navigate dinner table discussion without your DP doing it for you. All you have to do is ask people questions about themselves, share stories from your own life, bring up stuff you've read in the papers that you thought was interesting, and actively for just those 3 or 4 hours, try and take an interest in the person next to you.

parrying uncle brians attempts at flirtation sounds much worse than lame

My (extended) family have never tried this, and I wouldn't be impressed if they did - even at our wedding, we allocated people to tables (so that a singleton didn't end up having to join 7 family members who knew each other well) but not to seats. I would feel my family (or DH's family) were trying to be unnecessarily formal if they tried it, and I suspect a good few of them host dinner parties.

And surely most families understand that in laws are not going to automatically feel as comfortable at family events, as biological family members.

OP, you're not being lame, what a strange couple of comments from munkynutts (as usual).

I hear you, and understand why you wanted a bit of a moan, the strict formality for a family get together seems OTT and wouldn't be my favourite set up either.

Moving between courses is strange but I quite like weddings or similar events where I'm perhaps on the same table as DH (or someone I know well) but also in the position of chatting to someone new.

I see DH all the time; it's lovely to chat to people I don't know or don't know as well.

juxtaPostion Yes I'm fine with weddings. I was even enough of a big girl to go to one where my DH was best man so on the top table. The bride and groom were kind enough to put me with a couple of other people I knew well though.

juxta Sorry....just read back my comment and it sounds quite arsey. I was trying to agree with you!

Presumably it's just for the dinner, hopefully you can get through it and enjoy the rest of the time away.

Reminds me of Christmas lunch at my sister's house which I attended to please my parents. Never knew a seating plan with name cards
were necessary for a family meal for eight people but my sister obviously wanted to ensure that her two least favourite people, me and her MIL were seated as far as possible away from her

Yes just for dinner. The rest of the weekend was fine