Is this a fair distribution of lie-ins?

[Woolsie]

DP and I have a one year old who wakes up at 6am every morning.

I have three children from a previous marriage aged between 7 and 12. He has a four year old from a previous marriage. They all live with us.

DP works part time and from home. I’m a SAHM.

I get to lie in on weekends until whatever time I like and DP keeps the DC quiet. I’m usually up by 8:30-9 though.

I get up during the week and get all the DC ready and out to school. He gets up at around 7:30-8. He says it’s not really ever a lie in for him as he gets woken up by us all getting ready.

Is this a fair distribution of early mornings?

I’m just pissed off this morning, having been up since 5:30. I got all the children up, fed and ready, put all the rubbish and recycling out and tidied the kitchen while he was pretending to be asleep.

No it’s not fair. You should each get a proper lie I. On the weekend, but he needs to be up and doing 50% during the week. You can either share the 8am lie in, or both get up at 5.30 on week days

OP was a male in their last post and is now a SAHM .... it's not even school holidays yet

Reverse?

You've got the better part of the deal by far!

1. At the moment it's only your own children that need to be got ready for school, not his.
2. On your lie-in days he keeps the children quiet while on his lie-in days you are presumably all running around making noise.
3. He works to support the family financially and your job is SAHM.

Based on all those points, he should get a lie-in one day at the weekends and you should continue to get the children ready for school.
Presumably the 12-year old can get herself ready so that just leaves you with your other three?
Why don't you do the rubbish/kitchen tidying in the evening so you don't have to get up so early?

This is why me and my DH don't do lie ins. We just all get up! If you want it fair, one each at the weekend and all up at the same time during the week seems best.

That seems awfully petty. "I can't have a lie-in so you can't either"?

How much getting ready does it take your kids in the morning? 7-12 yo kids should be doing most of it by themselves. His 4 yo might need a bit of help but not with dressing etc. I think he should get both lie ins on the weekend, and you can split the week between you as you see fit.

I think you should both get up on weekdays and get the DC ready together. 5 children is a lot for one person to manage and if he is working from home pat time, it's not as if he's up and out of the house early ready for a long commute.

Then at weekends you get one lie-in each.

Just go to bed earlier if you're tired getting up.