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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let cats dictate living situation

23 replies

munkynutts · 27/11/2017 08:38

I should start by saying I dearly love my cats - I rescued them and di everything in my power to make their lives great.

Ive seen this great house, the garden is lush and I will be able to cat proof it. The cats will have loads of space to explore and frolic in the garden and the house itself. It would be a great move.

BUT - the front door gives out directly onto a main road.

I know I would always be really careful with the front door, but my boyfriend, despite being a great guy, can sometimes be really dozy - think running late, scatterbrained, etc.

Im paranoid that one day hes just not goig to be careful and one of them will slip out onto the main road and get hit by a car.

He thinks i am BU for letting cats dictate where i live and says i can trust him.

I get the feeling i am being neurotic about this. Can anyone tell me anything to help me? Any advice? Anyone have a similar living set up? Can i somehow "train" them not to hang around the front door?

OP posts:
Basecamp21 · 27/11/2017 08:49

Just because a cat gets out on to the road does not mean they will automatically get run over. Yes it is possible but many cats are regularly around busy roads and live to a grand old age.

Yes be careful and encourage them to be out the back by all means but not to buy the house on the small chance they would get out the front and then the even smaller chance they got run over seems a bit excessive.

swingofthings · 27/11/2017 08:54

Also it's not just about the front door, if they could go in the garden and then get out on the road through the back garden. Cats walks miles at night when we don't know!

My OH ran over the neighbour's cat. We live on a quiet close. The cat was stupidly asleep under the car and probably got startled and bang his head badly. He had serious head injury and we thought he was a gonner but somehow recovered against all odds.

Cats accidents can happen wherever you are. I'm not sure how much more at risk they are living close to a busy road.

Original poster
munkynutts · 27/11/2017 08:58

@Basecamp21
Thank you, I am an anxious person with an "overactive imagination" abd know I can BU.

@swingofthings
You're right, although I plan on putting those roller things on the garden walls.

Are you saying I just need to accept that the risk is part of owning a cat?

OP posts:
mayhew · 27/11/2017 08:58

My cat is not supposed to go out of the front door but occasionally the urge gets the better of her. She then sits on the window sill crying to come back in! She never leaves the front garden.
Idiot cat.

MojoMoon · 27/11/2017 09:02

I have a tall baby gate in the hallway, that way it can be closed whenever the front door is open. My cat is also not allowed out the front.

Looks slightly odd as I don't have any actual babies but who cares what the postman thinks about it!

Mirrorxx · 27/11/2017 09:07

I used to live on s fairly busy road in semi rural area. We had 3 cats and in 3/4 years we lived there 2 of the cats were hit by cars and only 1 survived. I wouldn't risk it again

crazycatgal · 27/11/2017 09:13

I wouldn't have a house on a busy road with my cats. They could run out of the front door or escape out of the garden because it can happen even with cat-proofing.

Nikephorus · 27/11/2017 09:13

I have a tall baby gate in the hallway,
That's probably your best bet. If the back garden is escape-proof you'll be fine.
(I did think this was going to be a 'my cats won't let me sit on the sofa or sleep in my bed, AIBU to put up with this' and I was ready to tell you that they're cats, of course their wishes come first!)

mirime · 27/11/2017 09:24

I have a tall baby gate to stop the cats getting upstairs at night. We had three cats at the time, two of them learnt to jump over it.

What's the front of the house like? We put chicken wire on the bottom of our gate so if the cats do get out the front they can't run straight out into the road - it's not that busy but as we're next to shops I worry about the delivery lorries.

Original poster
munkynutts · 27/11/2017 09:30

@mirime
Heres the front! As you can see theres something for me to work with here. The steps give directly onto the pavement of the main road (no front garden)

To let cats dictate living situation
OP posts:
thecatsthecats · 27/11/2017 09:43

Our house opens onto a B road, 20mph zone because we're near a school. Our cats are old, so cat proofing the garden to keep them in has been simple enough. We kept a barrier near the front door, but to be honest, I think it only increased the mystery for them.

The barrier has been down for a week, and we've increased their outdoor time out the back. They don't care about the front any more.

Just an idea - could you build a second door in so you have a small porch? Then you're sorted.

Original poster
munkynutts · 27/11/2017 10:00

@thecatsthecats
Love the name.

Did you see my pic just above your post? I may try to fashion something like you suggest

OP posts:
meredintofpandiculation · 27/11/2017 10:06

I think cats may be safer on a main road with traffic 24/7 (so that they avoid it) than on a slightly quieter road that lulls them into a sense of security by being safe at night. Depends also on the relative attractions of front and back - if there is a small super-tidy garden at the back, but a mammal- and bird-full field the other side of the road, then obviously they'll be tempted.

gamerwidow · 27/11/2017 10:07

I think it depends on you cats. We have lived on a extremely busy B road for over 10 years and my cat has never attempted to go out the front door because it’s too busy and noisy. He only ever goes out the back. If they’ve got a big interesting garden will they even care about escaping out the front?

gamerwidow · 27/11/2017 10:10

P.s. in contrast my friends quiet cul de sac had a cat run over in it last year so it is an unfortunate hazard with roaming animals wherever you live.

Tinselistacky · 27/11/2017 10:12

We have had our cats in 3 houses onto a main road. No issues at all. Cat proofing a garden is just odd imo.

Moose23ishungry · 27/11/2017 10:19

I think it also depends on your cats. One of ours is very street smart and if she darts out the front, is fine getting herself around the side and into the back garden. She seems to avoid the road at all costs.

Our boy is a big doofus though - he will sometimes just sit outside the front door because he’s too lazy to jump the side fence. And twice he has wandered out in front of cars and sat in the middle of the road dumbly. We don’t live on a busy road luckily, but he is obsessed with the front door and the mysteries beyond.

thecatsthecats · 27/11/2017 10:33

Tinsel - unusual, yes, and I don't like it, but sadly necessary in our case. Not because of the roads, but because both of our cats are 15, and they're not great at jumping.

They could get out one side because there are trees etc for them to help boost them over the fence, but the other side is a sheer fence, and they couldn't get back (though could possibly make it into the next garden etc.

A bit of chicken wire along the top solves this as they can't get around it, so they're trapped in our (spacious) garden.

It's very odd to me, because I grew up in the deep countryside at the end of the road, so no passing cars whatsoever, but we only recently adopted these two, specifically because they were old and needed a home. Not too old yet to want to roam though!

OP - yes, I can't tell because of the angle, but could you install a door before the top three steps? Then you have an added layer of personal security too.

Original poster
munkynutts · 27/11/2017 10:53

@thecatsthecats
That's interesting re the chicken wire, do you just have it set up at an angle?

OP posts:
thecatsthecats · 27/11/2017 11:05

Well, it sort of runs between the trees and the fence, so there's no gap for them to read the top of the fence. This completely stumps the less agile of the two, as he can't climb trees any more. I think the more spritely one could scramble up a tree and go over it, but we're less worried about him as he could get back more easily.

We've also put rolls into the gap either side of the shed.

Lucisky · 27/11/2017 11:24

I lived in a terrace on an A road with just a pavement outside (rural market town) and had two cats. They were never allowed out the front obviously, and I had an inner door so I had a little hallway as well. They had access to everything out the back, and if they had had a mind to I suppose they could have made their way out to the road, but it was quite a long terrace, so it created quite a barrier. It was a very quiet road at night though (but they seemed to spend their nights snuggled up by the rayburn). They both died of old age, so it is doable. I suppose their range never took in the road from the beginning, as they could go a long way safely out the back. It all depends how easy it would be for a cat to get round the front of your property.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 27/11/2017 11:40

I think the problem is your BF (sorry). He needs to understand that it is his responsibility to shut the front door so the cats won't escape and not dismiss your concerns. If he can drive whilst scatterbrained and dozy (not running red lights etc.) then he can shut a front door. No excuses.

CatsAndCairngorms · 27/11/2017 12:00

I never had a problem with my cats when living on a main road but I hated living on a main road when my kids came along. So I guess I'd say fine for the cats but personally I'd reconsider if kids are in your future and you're buying...

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