To be cross/upset at a comment to my other half from friends father in law?

[Angelina7]

Couple weeks back I went to a friend's party at their house. Dp has only just mentioned this to me but I wondered why he didn't seem to enjoy himself that night. Dp is Moroccan & when he walked into the toilet he got a knock on the door from father in law who was standing outside it chatting to various people, he said to dp 'use the paper ok'. It has really annoyed me that people can be so rude, I know he was prob drinking quite alot but to think that people can be this rude to someone for no reason is beyond me. My dp is very hygiene aware but that's not the point. Dp asked me not to mention it to anyone but it puts me off going to big meet ups with my close friend and I have to vent somehow!!!

What a wanker! As your DP doesn't want you to say anything to your friends, I wouldn't.

BUT if you see that wanker again, say something to HIM! Even better...wait till he goes to the loo then knock on the door and say Don't forget your manners will you?

WTF? How rude! And also racist - because the implication is presumably that because your DP is 'foreign' that he might not know how to use a western style loo? Fuck that.

I would definitely say something - because by letting behaviour like this go, then it normalises it and people carry on doing it. So when next speaking with your friend and the subject of the party comes up, I would tell her that you both enjoyed it although you could have done without her FIL shouting instructions through the bathroom door.

Good advice thank you, I don't think I can talk to him civilly again out of principal. Yes I thought it was totally racist and culturally ignorant, my dp has lived here 10 years and is totally appreciative and integrated into western culture, but even if he was just visiting here I wouldn't treat anyone that way!