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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be worried about visiting concert halls with the terror threat being so high?

47 replies

Heckneck · 26/11/2017 22:12

I have bad anxiety anyway so please don't laugh but the thought of going to one of those places to see a band or a show worries me slightly. Given what has happened previously and the threat level meaning anything could happen anywhere. I know we shouldn't worry but I do. AIBU to just not go to such events? I know I'm being daft but just can't help it.

OP posts:

1DAD2KIDS · 26/11/2017 23:38

Well do you drive or get driven on the roads frequently? You'll be far more safer in a concert hall than out on the road. Yet most of us never really hesitate to drive our cars out onto the road.

augustusglupe · 27/11/2017 00:12

We were in Manchester this weekend. We spent lots of time looking round the Christmas markets, went to see Alison Moyet at the Bridgewater Hall. Elf at the Lowry theatre. Christmas shopping at the Trafford centre. Not once did Terrorism cross my mind.
Manchester was heaving with Christmas shoppers and it was great to see.
I will never, ever let thick, narrow minded cowards stop me living my life in my own country!!

Allwashedup · 27/11/2017 00:20

YANBU. We recently cancelled plans to go to a Christmas concert in London, was about to book tickets then one of this year's atrocities happened and so we scrapped our plans...would be very anxious about going. Will probably also give Londin Christmas shopping a miss, which is a shame but I wouldn't feel safe at the moment.

1DAD2KIDS · 27/11/2017 00:33

There is a distinct difference better the fear of danger and actual risk of danger. If statics mater to then by the same logic that puts you off the concert hall should put you off doing way more of the everyday things in life that no doubt you do. Life is short, the risk low. Don't let miserable bullies ruin your life.

user1497863568 · 27/11/2017 00:44

YABU. I'm Irish and we've been under the same awful pall of suspicion. It's all a big game to enrich an already fabulously wealthy few and get the poor to fight each other ... forever. Now they are just panicking about the demographic consequences of all the deeply evil games they've played.

SuperBeagle · 27/11/2017 00:59

I'd be lying if the thought of something happening when we travel to the UK next month hasn't crossed my mind. It has. But I acknowledge that the chances of anything happening are so remote. You are far more likely to be killed or injured in ways we never consider the risk of on a daily basis than you are to be killed or injured in a terror attack.

I've never been concerned about it here in Australia though. But being so isolated has its merits when it comes to this sort of thing!

Katyb1310 · 27/11/2017 09:24

YANBU. I feel exactly the same and I don't particularly suffer from anxiety. I want to take DC to the Christmas markets this year and I'm scared. I feel nervous in big shopping centres, just in case- particularly when it's busy in the run up to Christmas.

moutonfou · 27/11/2017 09:36

You have to think that Manchester was a terrible incident, but those who were in there and caught up in it were an absolutely tiny proportion of those who go to the Arena - or any concert venue - every year. The chances of an attack happening are very rare. Plus there is extra security now.

I'm going to the Arena on Saturday for Steps; I will know about four other groups of people who will be there. We've been told go half an hour earlier for extra security. I think as we go in/out we will be conscious of it and quite sombre but hopefully once the show gets going we will just enjoy it. We can't let them stop us.

moutonfou · 27/11/2017 09:37

P.s. statistically you take a bigger risk every time you cross the road or get in a car. But we have to do it!

Kitsharrington · 27/11/2017 09:42

The thing is, if you indulge these fears now where does it end? Today it's concert halls, tomorrow - what? You won't go to any crowded areas? You won't take public transport or go to the supermarket or a restaurant or even leave the house eventually. You need to seek help for the general anxiety issue here. Otherwise you will wind up narrowing down your life so much and miss out on a lot.

ShatnersWig · 27/11/2017 09:43

There's a thread like this every time there is some form of incident and all we can do is repeat the facts. More people die in their own homes each year by falling down the stairs or scalding themselves in a bath than are killed by terrorism. But we don't all refuse to go into anything other than a bungalow or only have cold showers.

More people are killed by cows than by a terrorist. But easy enough to stay away from cows.

More people die from choking on food than by a terrorist. I guess you could only ever drink soup.

You were more likely to be killed by a terrorist in the 1970s and 1980s and even 1990s than you are now. by some considerable margin in fact.

And of course, far more likely to be killed in or by a car. I guess you could never leave your house ever again.

I understand anxiety. What you need to do is put it into perspective along with these things above. You can either live your life by never leaving your bungalow, drinking soup and having cold showers or you can get out and do things and enjoy them.

LelouchviBritanniacommandsyou · 27/11/2017 09:44

I understand how you feel and I don't think you're exactly being unreasonable, though it is somewhat irrational. As others have said, the risks of daily living are higher than that of being hurt in a terror attack. But that's not really how perception of risk works, especially when you have anxiety.

Earlier this year DH and I decided to travel around Europe. I already have anxiety and wasn't in the best place mentally anyway, then the attacks in the UK happened (we're in NZ). I was quite nervous about going but knew DH really wanted to and that this was the best opportunity. Long story short we went and had a fantastic time. It was definitely on my mind, especially at busy tourist spots but there was a lot of security around and nothing happened at all. It would have been such a shame to have missed out on all those experiences and seeing family and friends to avoid such a small risk.

Having said that, if you didn't really want to go to a concert anyway then there's probably no point forcing yourself. It might be worth getting help though if you haven't already? Especially if you do worry about everyday risks too.

Hulababy · 27/11/2017 09:46

I get anxious abut these kind of things. Things I cannot control and, even though I know the likelihood is so small, there is just something inside me I just don't seem to be able to shut out. My head tells me one thing, my heart another. Its hard as sometimes you don't feel you have any control over the feelings. No I have acknowledged it all to myself I feel happy to accept that whilst I get anxious at times I am in control of whether I let it stop me doing things or not.

However I don't allow it to stop me either.

DD and I went to two concerts a week or so after the Manchester attack, and we went to the big Manchester concert following that attack in the same week too. I admit that before going I felt nervous, and I did check out exits etc in a way I haven't done before. But once the concert got going I was totally relaxed and just focused on having a great time. Even when it finished and the doors opened it just was no longer on my mind - just was focused on finding the car and navigating car parks to be able to head home. Have since been to more events and have others booked. Whilst I do sometimes get anxious over it, if I think of 'what ifs' I try to also rationalise with myself the likelihood of anything bad happening is minimal and the more dangerous aspect of the day is me driving there and back.

Roomster101 · 27/11/2017 09:46

I think that everyone feels a bit nervous especially if their DC are going to an event but if you do go you will notice that security has massively increased. I think it more likely that terrorist will aim for other things now. Also as many have said, you probably take more of a risk crossing the road , driving etc.

SistersOfPercy · 27/11/2017 09:47

@mountonfoo I recommend at least an hour tbh. Lines are slow moving with checks. We were in the queue at half five for metallica and by the time we got in the arena the support was on.

Glumglowworm · 27/11/2017 10:22

It is your anxiety rather than a real threat (yes I know terrorism is a real threat but it's a tiny chance of any one person being involved).

But concerts etc are non-essential so yanbu to avoid them if you don't want to.

Rebeccaslicker · 27/11/2017 10:26

You know YABU but you can't help it - that's perfectly natural with everything that's going on in the world.

When I get nervous on the tube or at a major train station, I remind myself that even if I knew which day there would be an attack, imagine having to choose the right time, station, train, carriage and seat - the odds are absolutely millions to one. The same goes for concert venues; the odds of anything happening are just so tiny.

As a wise PP says, don't let thick narrow minded cowards spoil things! That's exactly what they want - to control, esp women, and to stop you from living your life.

Original poster

Heckneck · 27/11/2017 10:34

Thanks all. Completely irrational I know. You've made me feel better. I think nothing of driving really. My mind just runs away with me at times.

OP posts:

itusedtobeverydifferent · 27/11/2017 10:37

I've been through a few anxiety issues in the last few years concerning terrorism.

Supermarkets, concerts, theatre, markets, cinema...

Many I avoided for a long time. The news really got into my thoughts. I even felt high anxiety at a sports centre checking exit positions regularly.

Ironically, I don't call myself an anxious person. I'm typically laid back and relaxed BUT somehow this got to me. I have been seeking out news for the last year, rather than have that bombardment via tv, papers etc. It's really helped but I still have nerves over certain situations and events.

I have kept my family away from events due to this, and then feel awful when i see photos of others having a good time at said events.

So basically no, yanbu, you're not alone but it is illogical.

Aweektilltheseason · 27/11/2017 10:42

Op we went to the O2 for disney on ice and I was thrilled by the security to go in it was excellent, however that was into the actual concert so someone could have done something in the foyer.

I think in these circs its not going to harm anyone to just glance around you - note exits,,,be vigilant, we all owe it to each other really! Just be aware.

we can still go about our daily lives and go out - but be vigilant and have emergency planes for children..

Aweektilltheseason · 27/11/2017 10:43

The thing to remember is - the people who didnt make these attacks are not going to be on here are they saying its all fine, because it wasnt for them!

Spikeyball · 27/11/2017 10:57

I feel anxious when I go to busy places but I cope with it by thinking that statistically activities such as driving are far more dangerous. So I still go but check out where all the exits are and think what I would do if something happened - and then get on with whatever I am there for.

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