Everything feels like a constant slog

[Wishfulmakeupping]

I know I shouldn't feel sorry for myself in many ways I'm so lucky- sahm to 2 gorgeous dc, nice home, lovely very hardworking Dh but
It's a struggle...
I'm doing a masters get next to no time to actually study so grabbing minutes here and there, Dh is working overtime most weeks to get extra money for xmas etc so I get not much help with childcare or housework. Money is accounted for, we live nicely but there's no holidays or much social life.
It just feels like constant work house work, childcare, homework etc but no fun even when I see friends which is normally by way of play dates I haven't much fun conversation to have as I've been anywhere or done anything of interest.
We could have a great social life if we had the time or money (or babysitters) but we have neither spare at the minute- and I know I shouldn't but looking through all the fun people have had on fb while I'm wadding through piles of ironing just depresses me :(

People don't post their miseries on Faceache, so pay no heed to that. And why iron? There are enough materials that don't require it these days. Finally, what do you want to do a masters for? Unless you are in research, I generally think they benefit only the institutions that provide them.
Have you spoken to DH about this? It sounds as if you two should put your heads together and see if there is a way to arrange your lives to give you more of what you need.

What is the masters for and when will it be finished? Will it lead to a job that brings in more dosh? Life is no fun without being able to afford some holidays and luxuries. It gets worse when the children get older and go on school trips and compare with their peers.

Wishfulmakeupping if there is no fun in your life you need to introduce it. I think you need to be a bit more positive.

Presumably, you choose to have the kids and to do the study.

I've always felt a bit jealous of stay at home mums, I'd have loved to do it but we could not afford it. I work part-time. When the kids were little I had virtually no social life. It was quite depressing. Then I just told DH I was going to go out more, cheapish pub meals a couple of times a year, games nights with friends at their home or mine, coffee dates out, pub nights out. Yes, it costs money but not much and I found other couples I trusted and did a switch with the woman I knew in return for nights out, so I babysit her kids, and she babysits mine.

You can find the fun but you will need to look and you will probably need to make it happen. Plus if your kids are very small then Christmas gifts can be a doddle, NCT sales etc, and just a bit of extra posh food. Does your dh really need to do a lot of extra work to afford this? Or is he getting out of time with the kids and with you? Talk to him. There is no point in earning extra money only to spend extra money and feel miserable.

Together decide and priorities what you want, work, study, home life, just find the balance.

I cannot remember the last time I ironed anything.

Good luck, if you don't feel better when things start to change, please see your GP, it could be post natal depression. It is quite common.

Thanks all had a chat with Dh he agreed we need to start doing more and says I need a night out with my friends.
I've absolutely chosen to be a sahm and study which is why I feel bad complaining at all but it can't be solely work all the time.

Wishfulmakeupping I am glad you and your husband got to chat.

It's not wrong to complain, sometimes it identifies what is wrong in your life. It is also about the ability to change things that is key, which you are doing. So fab.