Preferential treatment of Grandchildren

[Justanothermumofnine]

AIBU in resenting my Mother, she does not send any of my children birthday cards, presents or even messages on their birthday, yet she spoils my brothers little boys rotten, one of my children and my nephew were born two weeks apart and she still doesn't acknowledge my sons birthday, I get it that I have a lot of children (clue in the username, lol) but I don't expect her to buy my older 5 gifts, a card or a phone call would be enough for them they are 17-23, but my younger three sons are only between 3-8 (I have a DS in heaven).
Am I expecting too much for her to treat all the younger ones the same way?

That's really hurtful. Have you spoken to her about it?

Sadly she may not change.

Why do you bother with someone who consistently shows you that she doesn't give a shit about you or your dc?

Does she disapprove of the amount of children you have?

This was me as a kid. There's 3 of us, then one cousin - my Nan ended up moving in with my aunt to be full time babysitter to my cousin whilst aunt worked.

Us three have always been treated like second best, he was always the golden child (aka spoilt little shit). I no longer have any contact with my grandparents because i got fed up of being held to higher standards yet being treated like crap

Yes I have spoken to her on many occasions, it won't change I doubt, I try not to care, but it's hard, especially when it's so blatant. She doesn't disapprove of the amount of children I have, she has no reason to, they are well bought up, polite, my husband and I both work, own our own home, all of the children old enough to work, also work, we also do a lot for a charity as a family, so if anything, there is very reason to be proud of them, they have overcome some very steep hurdles in their lifetime @mustbemad17 my older children have nothing to do with her anymore, my eldest son did not even invite her to his wedding, which says it all really! My children are very lucky though they have other grandparents who are brilliant, it's just me that's wasting my energy on someone who is not worth it, I guess I just don't understand why someone would act in this way, it's only been like this in the last 10 years also, prior to that she used to give at least a card or phone call. Thing is as soon as something goes wrong in her life or she is ill, I'm expected to go running, not anymore though, this is the final straw. Do you think I I should write a letter outlining why I'm not having anymore to do with her or just cut all contact?

That's very strange as GPs are usually closer to their daughter's children.

That's really crap. I used to have a friend like this. She was one of 10 and her grandparents would buy her cousin (an only child) birthday and Christmas presents but nothing for her or her siblings. The worst was that she'd spend over £100 on the one grandchild when she could have just got them all something for a tenner each.

Don't go running next time your mum needs something. Tell her to ask your brother.

@awwlookatmybabyspider I'm the only girl and the youngest too, she has always had a soft spot for my brother, it's probably only a recent thing actually because he has only become dad later in life, so there wasn't anything to compare it to before I guess.

@DaisysStew I think I just might

I wouldn't write her a letter. Don't go running next time she needs you.

What did she say when she was left out of your sons wedding?

I am a dm of 11 and nc with my dm tho she sends cards for dc birthday with a small cheque. When they turned 16 she stopped however which I can't understand either!! She did once try to contact my eldest and get her to meet her without my knowledge but dd told me, she tells work mates she has no family -
'Nowt as queer as folk' is very true!!