I am so angry at our local primary/middle school. My son was threatened with a knife at school (he is 6) by two older boys in Juniors (middle school) on Friday. I have written a letter to the Head as the way they are handling this I feel is disgusting (my son had to get the school to tell me). I will paste a copy of the letter below but would like to get others opinions of what you would do in this kind of situation as I have never been in this kind of situation before. AIBU in what I expect from the school and how they should handle this?
The letter (I will omit all names):
Dear xxxxx
I am writing regarding an event that took place at lunchtime (within the school hall) on 24th November 2017. Where my son (xxxxx) was involved in a serious incident with two boys in Juniors which he has named child 1 and child 2.
I am deeply upset regarding this and the way that it has been reported to me and further actions that have or in this case have not been taken.
At pick up time on the day of the incident I collected my son as usual and his teacher Mr xxx dismissed him from class when he saw me. My son then said to me that he needed to speak to Mr X and ran back to him. I then overheard my son say to Mr x ‘remember you need to speak to my Mum’. Mr x then approached me and said that ‘xxxx (my son) wanted me to let you know about a situation that happened at lunchtime today between himself and two boys in Juniors. In no way was he (my son) in trouble and he did not do anything wrong at all but handled the situation very well. One boy from Juniors said to him (my son) that he would cut his hair off with a knife and another boy held a knife to his back. The two boys have consequences regarding this but your son wanted me to let you know’.
I then said to Mr X that I would speak to my son about this on the walk home (as I wanted to hear the story from himself without other parents around as we were in the playground at the time).
The incident in my sons own words:
‘I was sat down at lunch when child 1’ sister got told off for having a toy and child 1 said that it was all my fault. Child 1 said that he would cut my hair off with a knife. Then child 2 put a knife on my back, which I felt. Then child 1 said ‘don’t even look at me.’ a girl said ‘x (my son) looked at child 1’ when I didn’t, I wasn’t looking at him at all. He then said (child 1) ‘I will do it, I will do it, if you go near my sister. I will do it don’t even look at me.’
‘One of my friends got a teacher who then spoke to child 1 and child 2. Then child 1 got sent to the office to eat his pudding. Child 2 then got to miss playtime and sent to the office.’
The teacher then asked me my name, and I told her my name. She said that she would tell my teacher and child 1 and child 2 teacher what happened.’
I am saddened by the way this has been reported to me, the fact that I think that this incident is serious enough for me to have been called shortly after and the fact that my son had to remind and ask his teacher to speak to me about it. Which asks the question would I have been informed at all if my son did not speak up and ask his teacher to speak to me or would he have kept the incident to himself which is upsetting. I would also like to know if the parents of child 1 and child 2 have been informed as if this was my child I would want to know.
Within your Anti-Bullying policy it states:
Procedures:
All reported incidents will be taken seriously and investigated involving all parties. Steps taken by the school will depend on the circumstances but may include:
• Interviewing all parties as close to the incident as possible, but within 24 hours
• Informing parents within 24 hours
• A range of responses appropriate to the situation: - solution focused, restorative approach, circle of friends, individual work with victim, perpetrator, referral to outside agencies if appropriate
• Referral to Behaviour policy and school sanctions and how these may be applied including what actions may be taken if bullying persists
• Follow up especially keeping in touch with the person who reported the situation, parents/carers on a weekly basis
• Support for the victim and the bully e.g. 1:1 time, counselling, restorative approach
• A safety map will be sought at the time of the Pupil Questionnaires being undertaken, in order to monitor the safety of the school site
At no point has my child been interviewed, which I feel given the seriousness of this should have taken place within a few hours of the incident being as it took place on a Friday. I am not sure of all other parties involved including witnesses if these have been interviewed but I would welcome an answer on this.
I don’t feel I was informed in the correct way. It was more my son wanted his teacher to inform me.
As per your Anti-Bullying policy – Reporting and responding to Bullying, I would like to know how this has been logged, if anything and when it was logged. If the two students parents have been informed and if the children are aged over 10 years and have the police been involved as this is a threatening situation involving knives and I would describe as common assault. I would also like to state that my sons father and myself are still considering reporting this to the police as we do not feel the situation has been dealt with correctly so far and not taken seriously enough, which knife crime is whether it be in or outside of school.
I would also like to know what form of disciplinary action has been taken against the students involved and what the school would deem as acceptable action by the school. I don’t think that having ‘playtime’ taken away from them is suitable punishment for this form of bullying and I would be deeply concerned if the school thinks and acts in only this way.
I send my child to school trusting that he will be in a safe and secure environment. When incidents like this are reported to me by my child and the school is acting in which I can only describe as a brush under the carpet and blasé way I seriously must question his welfare and safeguarding whilst in your care.
I would welcome a meeting to discuss this matter further at the very earliest opportunity.