To think it isn't weak to cry

[TheSunIsFar]

And that it doesn’t show weakness to cry, specifically in men.

Watching a particular tv show and My BIL (who is a bit of a caveman) just said to stop crying, your showing your weak!

Who thinks crying shows weakness and who thinks it shows strength that the person is secure in themselves to show their emotions and who thinks something else...?

I personally think it shows strength!

MIL cries to manipulate. I hate that.

Normal crying for sadness, totally fine and not weakness at all.

Before having DS2 I rarely cried; once every few years. DS2 did something to my emotions and now I cry at all sorts of things. I think the only people who see crying as weakness are people with a limited capacity for kindness and empathy, not the sort of people I'd like to work for or spend time with.

Crying is nothing to do with a lack of self control.

I think it's human nature to cry and definitely not a sign of weakness. It's the first step to acceptance. It is strength because you admit the you can be vulnerable. People who cry are more likely to overcome pain than those who do not.

I well up and cry at emotional things or when frustrated. Not sobs really, just leaky eyes. I can’t cobtrol the tears.
But I can control my temper and I never ever lose it with anger.
So am I weak? Or strong? Or just normal.

I don't think crying is weak, it's a physical response for a range of emotions.
I cry when I laugh and not the howling with laughter type just when I'm genuinely happy laughing, cry when I'm angry,sad,hurt. I can keep going I basically cry at every emotion at a certain level.

I'm not a sensitive person I internalise a lot, I am uncomfortable crying in front of other people so can keep it in if it isn't overwhelming which it rarely has been but I don't judge others as weak if they cry, I will feel empathy instead.

It can be a way of getting attention, if not overtly, then through the back door if you like: a sort of 'gosh, look at how very sensitive and finely tuned to the suffering of others I am.' In fact, it is the opposite because someone sobbing over someone else's distress inevitably turns the attention to themselves.

I do think that unless the circumstances are pretty exceptional or the crier is under the age of about ten years are best kept to yourself.

I don't think it shows weakness. My previous GP was a crier. I had always seen crying as dangerous (?) , my mum cried lots when I was a child and I found it frightening because I didn't know how to help. Think I thought crying was a bad thing. I went through years of therapy devoid of any emotion and didn't cry at all.

When I spoke to GP about stuff from childhood she had a tear and I felt that helped me a great deal . Validated my own feelings and emotions and I was able to let go and sobbed on poor woman for a good 20 minutes . GP said she didnt think it bad to cry as a professional or not. (Although obviously in a work situation there needs to be a degree of control).

As an auxiliary nurse I went through a horrendously upsetting afternoon a couple of years ago where a very unwell patient was very angry/crying at what was an awful situation (terminally ill wife). I couldn't help but cry with him a little bit as it was awful. I don't know if it helped him at all, I hope it did. I don't think he saw it as a weakness though, what he said didn't suggest that at all - he was very grateful. We're all human and sometimes crying is what you should do. I think I'd been a bit 'colder' or more distant it wouldnt have helped at all.

Well, you see, I would strongly disagree with that, shouldnt. Although the G.P. crying didn't bother you, numerous people would have felt uncomfortable, embarrassed, apologetic and flustered by it and thus put off seeking help.

Not crying doesn't mean that you can't be warm, empathetic, open and responsive to patients needs and of course we are all only human, but I do feel both those situations you describe were ones where crying was not an appropriate (or, if I'm being honest) particularly helpful reaction.

I did wonder at the time with the patient what my reaction should have been. I had no-one to talk it over with, had willingly facilitated the situation in some ways (not in intention to upset but to ease distress for him and his wife who were at opposite sides of huge hospital) and possibly should have considered everyone's reactions. All I remember was feeling devastated for them and unsure how to help. Didn't sob or anything as such, just a bit tearful but still managed things and escaped to the loo after for 5 minutes. I saw many, many colleagues including my senior charge nurse (30 years experience) and FY1s crying in the presence of relatives in dire situations - it seemed an OKish thing to do. Several colleagues went to funerals of younger/ long stay patients and I'm presuming lots cried then. Grim ward and I think it helped people realise we recognised it wasn't a pleasant speciality. You sort of judge it I think.

I agree you can be warm and empathetic without tears but it did help me when I was the patient.

I suppose you have to judge it on a case by case basis. There are numerous patients I know would have lodged a complaint if they felt staff were in any way unprofessional.

With the GP I had already been seeing her for years and so I suppose she felt she knew I wouldn't be bothered by it.

Maybe it's where I'm from, the area I was born and brought up in (and worked in) was a very tight close knit community , and very expressive of emotion in general. Very physically affectionate too in ways that probably isn't OK in other places - lots of hugging for example. Perhaps it's more that than anything else. Which doesn't mean that other people who aren't 'huggy' aren't as nice.

It's interesting, I'm training to be an AHP now and learning a lot , interested how my reactions could influence things and how to change that if needed.