To think shop staff shouldn't be expected to put up with abuse?

[Livingtothefull]

I was in a smallish branch of a well known, household name store. There was a customer in there shouting and swearing initially to herself, then she went to buy some things and started swearing and shouting at the cashier so everyone in the store could hear. She was using really foul language and insults towards the cashier, calling her names 'you fucking ct, stupid fucking sg', screaming these in her face loud enough for everyone in the shop to hear.

The cashier didn't react, stayed calm & matter of fact and just served her politely It looked as though the woman was probably ill or on something, rather than physically threatening or dangerous, but it was still really nasty, extreme verbal aggression.

I was at the back of the queue & couldn't actually believe what I was hearing….there was somebody who looked like a security guard but he didn't intervene or do anything. The woman left after she was served, when I got to the front of the queue I said to the cashier that I hoped she was OK, that she shouldn't have had to put up with that abuse and she handled it really well etc.

The cashier said that she got that abuse every day as the woman was in regularly. I said that she should be excluded & the cashier said it wasn't worth the bother of doing that every day.

AIBU to think that employees shouldn't be expected to put up with abuse like that and should be protected from it, that abusive people should be excluded from a store whether it's a hassle or not?

No they shouldn't. My daughter works in retail and gets abusive customers sometimes.
The person in your post seems as if maybe she had some mental health illness, which is sad, but I'm not sure what should be donemabout her.

No we shouldn’t.
However it happens all the time. As management I’ll always step in if any of my team are dealing with a customer that’s swearing or being disrespectful to them.
I was repeatedly told to fuck off and sworn at this week by a customer as I “only worked in retail not a proper job”

That's disgusting Shadow, & I am sorry Fireinthegrate that your dd gets abuse as well. I know that there are a few members of the public that are rude and vile, I just don't think that staff should be expected to just put up with it without any support.

What got to me was that the rest of the staff heard it but didn't intervene. The cashier in this case handled herself very well so presume they were confident she could cope, but I could tell she was upset all the same…and someone younger/more sensitive or vulnerable might not have been able to handle it.

I don't know what could have been done about the person who did this….not saying it is her fault or should be punished if she is unwell, but I don't think the answer is just to let her be abusive to others.

She maybe has tourettes?
In which case she doesn't really have control over it.

Yanbu, but I think if you have someone like that in regularly and they're not threatening you, it probably is just as well to serve her and be done with it.
I think it's easier to deal with if you know it's not on purpose iyswim?

Shouting and swearing at herself implies mental illness to me.

YANBU, OP.

The person in your post seems as if maybe she had some mental health illness

Maybe she was just a straight up arsehole? I have mental health issues and have somehow managed to not be abusive to retail workers.

It happens a lot unfortunately

Notaclevername... me too. But not all mental health issues are the same are they?

It does sound like Tourettes.

They shouldn't but I work in a supermarket and I suspect if they are a regular then allowances are made. We have regulars who require extra assistance or allowances, nothing like abuse though. We do have one man who tries it on with the females (disgusting sexual language) but have been told to be firm with him. If this kind of behaviour was from someone who we didn't know and made allowances for, it wouldn't be tolerated. I'd be buzzing my 'help' button and sit back and let my supervisor help me out

That said, I don't think it's unusual that other staff don't step in. In my store at least the general feeling is if you need help, you ask for it. I've been shouted at in the past and no one has come over, although afterwards the person behind me said she'd have called someone if I'd been struggling. If I see someone shouting at a colleague I do ask 'what's wrong' and try and be firm/calm and call the supervisor if I need to, but not everyone does.

As an aside though - although the person in the OP perhaps has underlying issues - it is awful how some members of the public treat shop workers. Annoyed when something won't scan/price is wrong/colleague taking too long checking price on something. My favourite is when someone is careless and knocks off my card machine, then gets angry at me when it doesn't reboot straight away - 'what's wrong with it?' 'can't you call someone' - no, they'll just do the same thing I'm doing. Worst is when you dare to ask for ID, refuse a sale then get a 40 yr old man at your till demanding why you wouldn't sell to his son and only going away when you threaten to call your manager to explain things

It could be that this person had forgotten their medication that day. Your daughter needs to know that sometimes it's a mental health issue and not to take it too personally. Also, the world is full of different people, and some are just wastes of oxygen. Probably best to see them now and learn how not to be.

If the woman was swearing to herself, before approaching the till, it sounds like the poor soul has a serious mental illness or head injury. I'm glad the shop staff and security appear to be aware that she's not behaving normally, rather than being abusive for no reason. Can you imagine what it must be like, living with that anger/distress every day?

No they shouldn't. I worked in a call centre a really high pressure one to get to deadlines, down to seconds placing bets, and when they lost or missed a late bet.

I still have nightmares about some of the names I was called. I think it can be worse when management dont step in, unfortunately in some jobs the customer comes first.

Shop work isn't much fun. You do get some awful people who see you as beneath them because you work on a till, or even worse, put things on shelves. However, it sounds like this lady is a known regular who they understand. You do get to know certain customers for different reasons and how best to handle them.
It does seem like this lady had issues because of her shouting at herself rather than being horrible to staff iyswim.

I wondered if she had a mental health problem or other SN? A lady on my bus every morning swears a lot, sometimes at the driver but often apologises to the driver for her swearing when she gets off. If she's in regularly and like that it might be the reason they just put up with it.

Some people though are very rude to people in shops or other public facing role.

I used to work in McDonald's and people speak to maccies staff like they are dirt on their shoe. I've seen managers spat at coz they have intervened with customers swearing whilst drunk on the lobby full of kids on a Saturday afternoon.
We've had to deal with people crapping in wet floor signs and urinals, doing crack in the toilets. I was told one night that I should get a proper job. We spent our nights kicking out teens who were treating the place like a youth club and one night my colleague was wrestling a gang of kids for sugar and straws. They smashed windows and generally it was like being in a zoo and still management used to only ban them when they had to and even then half the time they would still serve them coz it was too much hassle to refuse them.
I think the public go into some places and behave like pure morons coz they know they can get away with it.

If she was muttering/shouTing profanities before she approached the cashier, then MH is most likely a factor, and the comments not personal. Big difference between someone abusing you (which shouldn’t have to be tolerated) and someone who can’t help their behaviour and is just doing it in general.

I live in a city where they have put a new road layout in round the train station and shopping centre and it's awful and causes massive jams. The police and council have put a plea on social media for people stuck in traffic to
To stop ringing 999
And when they get to the shopping centre
To stop abusing the staff in the shopping centre as it is not their fault

YANBU. People are not in work to be abused.
Did no management or staff come over to her.

I have a mental illness. I don't abuse upset and go out of my way to frighten people, though

I've worked in retail and sometimes you get really shitty people. One of the best tricks I learnt was when someone talks to you like shit was to talk back to them in a similar way initially but carry on speaking them and slowly change the way you are speak/ change your tone of voice to eventually be really nice/ helpful etc.

I tried this once with once particularly regular obnoxious customer and.it really worked. She came in with a massive attitude and by the time she left she was putty in my hands and grateful for everything I did for her.

I have a mental illness. I don't abuse upset and go out of my way to frighten people, though

But that doesn't mean she can control herself. I've suffered from serious mental illness and you wouldn't have known it if you met me. However my brother has Schizophrenia and when he has an episode he thinks we're all trying to poison him. He once escaped from the hospital and walked for over 10 miles, through fields and over ditches, to arrive home naked. He's so dangerous I've had to make sure he doesn't know where I live. Don't think that all people with mental illness can control themselves because you can.