So they just not want us there?

[wasthataburp]

It's my parents anniversary this weekend (Ruby wedding). My sister is organising a family meal and asked if we were free on the sat night but only asked us a week ago. I said we were not free as DH family coming up from a different city that weekend for a family get together which was organised
Months in advance. They are refusing to change to night before or after for non critical reasons. Do you think they just don't want us to come along?

Cant dh,s parents come too?

Perhaps they could only get a booking on that day? It’s not a big deal anyway, just take your parents out for a nice afternoon cream tea or something another.

Could dh parents just go along too? I mean you are all family even if only by marriage.

Yes it does sound like they don’t want you. Asking just 1 week before, surely most people are not just free at short notice

Another day*

No it's not his parents coming to our city as they already live here but his siblings and all their children for a kind of first Christmas which we do every year since they live so far away

No it's just my sister and parents

It is pretty bad that they only asked you a week before. How long have they been organising it, or was it really a last minute thing?

Do you think they asked you at such short notice in the hope that you were busy? Or even booked it that weekend knowing you had family down?

Were you not aware it was their Ruby anniversary before last week? Did you know your sister was organising? If it was quite a big thing to them I would have been involved weeks ago.

I should add that they didn't already have it arranged but was asking me when we could manage before they booked the restaurant. I said I couldn't manage as DH fam coming up from different city and had it organised for months. It was my sister organising and I asked if we could have it the night before or after instead and she said she was going out the night before and that the Sunday her child would have to eat early so no. Don't see why we can't go out at 5 or 6pm for a meal

Surely you knew when their wedding anniversary was before last week?

Did it not occur to you that your parents might want you to celebrate their ruby anniversary with them? Or had you forgotten when you made your plans with DHs family?
I would have been helping my sister with the plans if it were me, so seems odd that they ' only' asked you a week ago?

No they said they didn't want anything and then my sister said she would organise a meal but this was only a week ago

Sorry to be a dissenter here OP, but you knew it was your parent's Ruby Wedding Anniversary, didn't you? Did you leave all the organising to your sister or were you involved at any point?

I don't see why they should change the arrangements for you when you have invited your husband's parents on this specific weekend. It almost seems like you were the one who couldn't be bothered.

x-posted with confused and Lady

I think they should stick to their arrangements as they shouldn't have to rearrange to suit you. If it meant a lot to you to celebrate with them you wouldn't have made plans and simply visited them even if they didn't want to go out.

Well I can see both sides. If you knew plans were afoot for your parents ruby wedding didn't you think to ask what date was chosen. I think you should make the effort to go to the ruby wedding meal and put off your other relatives.

But you knew it was their anniversary this weekend, why would you arrange to meet your in-laws instead?! Is there some kind of backstory here? Skip the 'Christmas' meal and go out for the Ruby Wedding instead, yes it was already in the diary but why would you book something over the wedding anniversary weekend anyway?

Same comment as others really. When you were organising the weekend with your in-laws "months ago" surely the natural thing to say would be "Oh, it's my parents' ruby wedding anniversary that weekend, I'd better keep it free"?

Just to be clear I did obviously know that it was their anniversary when I made plans but they said they didn't want to do anything and now they have changed their minds and my sister has organised a meal.