To ask your views on smoking before holding babies

[LloydColeandtheCoconuts]

My DD is 4 months old. I sometimes meet up with a work colleague for a hot chocolate and i ask not to smoke at all that day until she leaves. I know this is potential CF behaviour but she knows that I won’t let her hold DD if she does. My friend has been fine with this and doesn’t mind not smoking for a few hours because she gets to hold DD. Then she can smoke all she wants when she leaves.
Tomorrow I’m meeting some other work colleagues - 2 of whom are smokers. I am not close enough to them to ask them not to smoke beforehand but I won’t let them hold DD if they have been.
My DP thinks IABU to tell them this as they’re coming to see the baby and probably would want to hold her. He thinks I’m being a little OTT as it’ll only be for a few hours and they won’t be smoking whilst holding her.
I’m just wondering whether IABU or not.
Thanks

I would be unhappy if someone who smoked very recently, in say the last half hour, wanted to hold my baby, but I'm not sure about asking them not to smoke all day?

I am not and never have been a smoker.
Nine of my family smoke, so I assume I don't smell like one either (nice mature comment there, by the way).
I just happen to believe that things work a lot better generally if one doesn't sweat the small stuff and just tries exist with other people.

smoking is a choice. If my child's GP's choose to smoke the consequences of that, including not holding their grandchild, is this problem. And their fault.

their problem

Well, as I said, it must make you feel very self-righteous and important.
I think it's sad that you feel you can talk to your parents in such a rude and disrespectful way, but hey ho, each to their own.

I think it's rather ironic to be worrying about a couple of minutes of third hand smoke when living in London, but each to their own.

You can always use an excuse, avoiding germs, just gone to sleep, needs a feed etc?

Bit crap for the baby who can't move or say 'pooh, you smell'.

Not a major health risk though.

Our midwife told us to make sure DP had a 'smoking jacket' which he needed to remove and he needed to brush his teeth and wait an hour before holding the baby. I think you're being a bit OTT.
They will presumably be wearing coats for outside and then remove them when they come in, maybe give them some gum and make them wait the hour if you can?

Kids were growing up in smoke filled environments until this past decade

I was one of them. I now have asthma partly triggered by cigarette smoke. I would rather my child not have the same problems tbh. Yanbu op.

If you think your friend doesn't have a fag al day untill after she holds your baby your kidding yourself. Sorry op.

That's exactly what I was going to say.

She's a nicotine addict, of course she's going to smoke before she meets up with you.

I think it's important to balance risk avoidance against how it affects quality of life (I say this as a lifelong sufferer of anxiety which centers on health). When considering stuff like this I ask myself if the chance of a bad outcome is greater than 1/1000. If not I try not to worry about it. I do let my smoker friend hold my baby (not while she's smoking) as I only see her every few weeks so I judge that to be very low risk.

Except the OP was not talking about a smoke filled environment, Mammoth, she was talking about someone who had a fag that day holding the baby.
I don't think anyone would argue that a smoke-filled room is suitable for a baby.
However, I would argue that a sense of proportion is a good skill to hone, and it seems to be seriously lacking on this thread.