Aibu to resent my husband for...

[Tangowhiskey99]

Not carrying out something we discussed and agreed on years ago but he will not now commit to? We have 3 teenage children, who have been raised in the US as that's where we met and married. Early on I wanted to bring the children to my home country as it is in Europe, and have them spend some time growing up there. We discussed this when I was pregnant wth first child and since then there have been nothing but reasons we should not move abroad, either permanently or for a few years. Recently this has begun to really grate on me, he won't engage in discussion, avoids at all costs, and now I feel like it's obvious it will never happen. I feel so sad and angry that I've let it go on as long as it has, I guess I just need to accept it and get on with my life right?

Yabu

To cause all the upheaval to your husband and children just because you have a bit of a thing about them spending some years in your home country.
You are selfish to even consider it. Your husband should never have agreed to it in the first place. Your children will hate being disrupted from school and friends and all that is their life.
They can visit your country when they're older, if they want to.
I would let this idea go. And the resentment! Your husband made a mistake agreeing all those years ago. He's allowed to make a mistake.
And yes you just need to accept it and get on with your life.

What do the children think about moving ?

YANBU. You're in a difficult situation now though, you can't make him do it...would he be more amenable if you said for a fixed time eg 2-3 years, then come back?

My sister was in your DH's shoes, she initially tentatively agreed to living in her DH's country at some vague point in the future, but after a while realised she really didn't want to and couldn't imagine being happy living there once she had spent more time in the country. I think it was a bumpy time for their relationship for a while, now they seem to have settled on going there for longer trips in vacations rather than moving there.

I myself am hoping that in a few years DP and I will be able to leave his home town and move to mine, but I know not to count on it...we'll have to see how life turns out.

Blimey Tango, does your husband know you're on here? That post from its seems very personal.

When you say you discussed it, was it a proper, sit down discussion or just passing comments? If it was a genuine discussion I agree with you, that it's pretty nasty of him to go back on his word. Have you asked him if he actually meant it, when he agreed, or was he lying to keep you? Can he take a sabbatical from work or be transferred, so you can all spend some time in your home country?

We did discuss at length when I was first pregnant. We have both actually looked at jobs in my home country, we are both teachers, and it is definitely doable from a career point of view. My children have often visitors my country with me and love it there they love their Nonna and extended family which we don’t have in the US. Every now and then we will discuss it as a family and the children are always very positive. I realise it’s a big thing for them at their ages but they will always be able to come back if they want to. I guess after all this time I’m just sick of waiting for him to finally agree that it will happen and would rather he just says no is never going to happen instead of stringing me along.