I judged a man.. and I feel awful!!

[hattiesmumm]

I can’t believe I’m posting this. I know I was definitely being unreasonable.

Last night I went to see a show in threatre. Me and Dp were sat on the second row in. Next to Dp was 3 empty seats. A man sat down next to
Dp and he was on his own. He spent a good 30 mins fidgeting about, rubbing his hands, reaching under his seat etc. I became a nervous wreck. The I realised he had a “mate” the other end of the row, who they kept staring at each other. After all these territorist attacks it really made me scared.

Turned out him and the other guy was a dancer in the show. He put a mask on and climbed over seats etc.

I feel so stupid. 😔 and embarrassed.

After all I've never heard of participants sitting with the audience.
Perhaps its common place, though*

It's not common place but it does happen but it's not someone you'd expect and I slightly disagree with the he should have told you he was part of the show he should have just sat still telling you would have broken the fourth wall and caused you to not get involved in the story.

I totally agree with cheap sausages if a production is using plants which actually a few do, their not to draw attention to thereself indeeed I did it when I was ten even a ten year old is able to act like a regularly member of the audience.

But OP YNBU yesterday proved how nervous people are it's not your fault you feel that way.

Findo Got me and mine up and out of there as soon as I thought his behaviour was odd.
I'd have told the first member of staff I saw what he was doing and where he was sitting and if they'd not instantly reassured me he and his mate were part of the performance for him to be there, I'd have been on my way.

Quim I'd have legged it on seeing that as well. Did you tell the driver?
Why did you feel like a twat?
What you saw was as far from normal behaviour as it gets. Who sits on a bus or anywhere behaving like that?

As long as your concern wasn't racially motivated I don't think it is anything to be embarrassed about. Depending on how suspicious his behaviour was to you and obviously if it wasn't related to the show I may even try to contact the company. You could just say you found it distracting as other people going to the show may have a similar experience. Obviously don't leave it as a review though

I was on a train next to a young Asian guy with a backpack, he seemed nervous double-checked with the ticket inspector the arrival time for King's Cross. After a while he asked me and the woman opposite if we could watch his backpack while he nipped to the loo. Ten seconds later, her face fell and she said we were probably done for.
I felt awful for her that the media had got so into her head. He was probably going back to uni or something!

After all I've never heard of participants sitting with the audience.

It's been reasonably common for years. They do it in the Lion King, although someone being dressed as a wildebeest or whatever is a bit of a giveaway that they are a cast member, even before they start belting out "Nants ingonyama!"

He was probably fidgeting to stay limber. I would mention your experience to the theatre. A lot of people would feel the same. Perhaps they should come to their seats later and rechecking for the masks under the seat could be done by an usher in uniform.

Its not uncommon for entertainers beimg in the audience and yes sometimes they fidgit and draw negative attention towards themselves deliberatly so the big "reveal" comes as more of a suprise. I used to work with a travelling show and that was ome of their main things. I went to ome of the showings and they sat in the audience being fidgity then the music plays and they throw on their masks and begin climbing across chairs and touching peoples heads. Is very entertaining.

Balloon and didn't they do it in Cats back in the 80s too?

If that scares you never go to the woman in black. She also appears amongst the unsuspecting audience in some shows.

Quim i'm surprised anyone stayed on the bus with that man behaving that way!

Yes Rhiannon and I was going to say that Cats was where it started but I am probably wrong about that so I didn't! I wouldn't be surprised if it's as old a trick as theatre itself.

I don't think you were unreasonable at all, OP. I'd have been nervous too. I was asked about 6 months ago to watch a guy's backpack while he nipped to the loo at a busy tourist location in London (yes, he was South Asian, as am I if that makes a difference). When he didn't come back within about 7 or 8 minutes I alerted a member of staff, but just as I was doing so the guy reappeared. I was mortified and apologised profusely but he was very understanding and acknowledged that in this climate nobody should he asking anyone else to watch their bags (or agreeing to, really).
There's a difference between being judgemental and being vigilant.

God I love The Woman In Black but it's bloody scary. Last time I saw it the ushers ruined it though - there were a lot of teenage drama students, A level I guess, in that night and every time it was scary, they screamed. That was a little annoying but, you know, they're 16. I screamed the first time I saw it too.

The really irritating thing was that every time the audience screamed the ushers were shushing them really loudly, bringing me right out of the whole experience.

OP, I would email the theatre to let them know how it affected you - it doesn't need to be a serious complaint or anything, just a 'great show but' - you could even say you felt silly about it but the fidgeting was really distracting because of all the warnings about terror incidents at the moment.

After what happened at Oxford Circus yesterday I might even consider it a health and safety issue - what if someone really really jumpy was next to him and caused a panic? I'm pretty blase about these things but not everyone is.

Don't go to theatre performances if you're a 'nervous wreck' because someone fidgeted for 30 minutes.

@ObscuredbyFog I didn't but one of the other passengers who got off did. Driver seemed unconcerned - he probably sees all sorts!

DD said the guy acting weirdly probably knew exactly what he was doing and was just 'trolling the bus'