DH and his ex have been separated for 6 years, since DSD was a baby. I've been with him for 5 years and married for 2. DSD is 7, nearly 8, and this will probably be her last Christmas "believing" anyway.
DSD spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day morning with one parent then goes back to the other in the afternoon and for Boxing Day. It alternates each year as to who she is with first.
Ever since DH and I moved in together 3 years ago, Father Christmas has bought DSD a stocking of goodies and everything else is from DH and I. Last year she questioned why FC brings lots at her mum's and not here, and we simply said that Father Christmas isn't silly and wouldn't bring her two sets of presents just because she has two sets family, so he brings her stocking here so she has something from him to open and leaves the rest if her presents at her mums. This is because her mum is REALLY BIG on FC so we didnt want what we did here to make her qurstion what happens at her mum's.
As DH and his ex only did her first two Christmases together when she was just a few weeks old and then just over a year, they didn't discuss how FC would be done so we aren't going against any type of agreement.
But DSDs mum (who we usually get on great with) has just found out that we do it differently to her and has really gone off on one saying how selfish we are being for wanting the presents to be from "us" and not FC and how we are spoiling the magic of Christmas for DSD.
Are we really being unreasonable for doing things a little bit differently to her?! Surely it makes sense that FC would leave her presents at her "main" home (as much as it hurts to say that, as if this isn't also her home!) And just a few treats for her here? And if the ex wanted to do everything the same there should have been an agreement, not us just blindly following what she does?