*TRIGGER* friends have decided to ditch me because...

[Feelings]

I finally reported my dad for sexually abusing me as a child.

My friends have statements and then told everybody I was attention seeking!
Not only that, but I had told them some of the things he had done, because they asked me, and they then proceeded to analyse the abuse and said because I said "think" rather than "know" I'm attention seeking and it didn't happen, this particular abuse happened when I was asleep btw.

I thought these friends were supporting me through this, they're part of the investigation and yet they've all now blocked me because I wasn't responding in the group chat, only reading.

Well admittedly I've had more important things like this investigation than responding to things that weren't even directed at me.

This isn't really an AIBU but I needed to vent, I have spent the night in tears that anyone would think I did this for attention. They only ever found out because my dad called me on Father's Day and it triggered me, they were there when it happened.

Fuck I feel like I've had the wool pulled over my eyes so bad!!!!!

I physically didn't think people like this existed. These are friends who I grew up with from about age 4... people who I thought I knew very very well.

Oh dear. Sadly, this isn't uncommon. People turn on the victim when they don't want to believe such a horrendous incident could occur, imho. I'm sorry for you, are there others who can support you?

I'm not excusing your friends,btw. They have shown their true colours. Do not wait or hope for them to believe you

I am so sorry for what you have been through, and going through now with your so called 'friends'. I am sad that they are not the friends you thought.

My entire family did that. It happens. It shouldn’t and it’s shit but I believe I’m better off without them. Make new friends.

They are awful, and are not true friends. There is a good saying I saw somewhere. Here www.pinterest.com/pin/505740233137384952/

Its actually very true.

I'm so sorry for both of these. You are very brave to report the abuse. The people who dropped you are not your friends, they're arseholes. Do you have others who will support you?

People never really know anyone.
Well this just proves it.
(((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))).

People can be awful. I think lots of people will go to great lengths not to believe that someone they know and like could have done something like that; and also, bizarrely, not to believe that something that bad could have happened to someone they care about, even though not believing them adds to their pain. They may feel (irrationally and subconsciously) awful for not having known or protected you. Or they may be very invested in not believing that any such thing could possibly happen to them or to anyone they care about. But they're behaving shittily at a time you need them; I'm really sorry. It takes a lot of strength and clarity to report, well done.

I told my sister that my brother had abused me and she didn't believe me. They are closer together in age but what caused me to tell her was that she was thinking of getting us all together, like a great reunion. She wanted him to meet his niece. There was no way that was going to happen, EVER and my meltdown occurred because my daughter was then the same age I had been when it first happened.
I am really sorry this is happening to you, you can't comprehend why they wouldn't believe you. I couldn't believe it, who would make something like that up? It damaged my already fragile relationship with my sister. Unmumsnetty (((((HUGS))))).

I am so sorry this happened to you. Well done for reporting him, that was very brave of you.

These so called friends are not your friends. Please don’t put effort and head space into trying to convince them, or waiting for them to see the light.

Do you have RL support?

I've seen this happen... people completely shy away because that's easier than facing the brutal reality of the truth.
It's their problem not yours and if they have turned their back on you now then they would never be strong enough to see you through what's ahead.
You are the strong one here... you don't need them. Good luck xxx

Thank you all. I would never have believed people were capable of being so shit.

And the stories here are just awful

I do have my mum who supports me and knows. At least that's something.

Those "friends" are already forgotten about. Onwards and upwards as they say!

Yes, what ticketytock said. I too have seen this happen, and it is so unfair that you have to deal with the double loss - you have lost the father you should have had and now you lose your friends too, because they can't/won't accept it. They need to live in a tidier version of life where these things happen to other people. They would probably be very sympathetic reading about it on MN, but in real life its too close, too real, and much easier to try to persuade you that it didn't happen than to accept it.

Find people who do understand. There are people on MN and there are organisations who will support you. You will make friends with people who live in your reality, who understand the pain, who have the language to understand you, and to hear you.

You will miss the friends you thought that you had, and the person that they thought you were. But you have done the right thing. Living with such a truth locked away inside will eat away at you.

Best of luck in finding people to support you who understand, and in moving forward. It won't happen instantly, and you will have tough times - you have started on a long road - but this is your real journey now, just beginning, with no pretence and nothing hiding in the dark, waiting to undermine you in the future.

Yay, x-post. So glad that your mum is standing by you.

I’m so sorry, Feelings

Sometimes people shy away from it because they simply don’t know how to be, or how to respond, or how to help, and feel helpless and scared.

I’m not excusing them, just trying to shed light on their behaviour.

So sorry Op.

As Jux says, they don't know how to respond. They have never had anything like that in their lives (lucky them) and therefore it doesn't exist. Therefore you are 'attention seeking'.

IF they ever even think a tiny tiny bit about it, it would hurt - them. So they don't.

They are arses. I hope you get the closure you need.

these so called 'friends' are in it for the seedy gossip.... you're much better off without them... how fucking dare they 'analyse' your abuse...

Onwards and Upward Lady... and Congratulations on finding the strength to walk into that Police Station and report the crime against you ... this takes such strength and courage

From what I was told it was juicy gossip to them.
One of them was actually groomed by him so it honestly makes no sense as to why they would say it!

They've been trying to push me out of the group for a while now, I learnt about everything they said through a friend of a friend, she was worried about telling me, and I was worried about telling her the things they had said of her too, so it's just two faced gossip all around I'm deffinitely better off without!

As you say freshstarttoday it's a long road ahead and I know I've cleared out all the badness within my circle now.

Yes onwards and upwards, they are just not worth it at all.

they set up a 'whatsapp' group... to discuss your Abuse... WTAF

Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry. It is far easier to live in denial than face the truth. These people are awful. I’m so glad they’re no longer in your life.

I'm not sure. They do have a WhatsApp group that I'm not part of so it could have happened there. But they see each other every single day. The amount of bitching I witnessed when I went round there, I just knew I didn't want to be part of that.
I just knew something was wrong, I had that gut feeling.
Wasn't until they blocked me for no reason, and I spoke to another friend, that it all came out, this has been going on for a year. Can't believe I didn't see it sooner!

they are dirty manky judgmental scum...

there I feel better now for having gotten that off my chest OP

Haha Gemini. Couldn't have put it better.