To ask if this is normal - nursery related

[pyjamapyjama]

My baby started nursery at 8 months old back in September when I returned from work/uni. Since he's started he's had 2 colds, a chest infection, and a vomiting bug - I know this is because he's not got an immune system etc. But the nursery phone me at least once a week (he's in 3 days) to get someone to pick him up either because he's had a loose nappy - fair enough, I understand they don't want kids catching stuff - although he is teething pretty badly and his nappies have been horrendous lately, or it'll be a phone call because he's "not himself and full of the cold".

I feel like I need to say that the staff are all really nice, I get on with them really well. They're also good with DS from what I've seen. But I also would never send him to nursery if I thought he was too ill.

The last week or so he's been really fucking moany very clingy and upset and I hate seeing him like that because he's usually such a happy wee boy and doesn't sit still. But because he's cutting a few teeth just now he's constantly crying and wanting to be held.

So the nursery phoned me a few days ago and wanted me to come in for a chat about how best to support him because he's been so upset etc etc. She also said how it's 'not fair on the staff or the other babies' that he's needing comforted lots more than usual and also asking 'what is your relationship like with his dad' which just made me feel a bit paranoid - is this really relevant? I'm just worried now that we'll be asked to take him out of the nursery over a bout of teething?

It's not how my DCs' nursery did things - if the children were clingy due to teething etc or because of a disturbed night then they would just arrange things so that an appropriate number of staff members were doing something quiet/just sit and cuddle. Especially when they're babies and easily portable I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that extra effort really - different with older toddlers I think.

Different nurseries do approach this differently though - ours was large with quite narrow age ranges in each room as a result so it would be easier for them than somewhere all the under-2s are in together for instance. Some won't even give a single dose of Calpol.

I expect someone will be along shortly to berate you for sending your child to nursery when under the weather - try not to let it get you down .

Seems a little bit over the top. If they look after lots of children you'd expect them to have a reasonable idea of the difference between a loose teething nappy and diarrhoea.

How old is he?

The cold, chest infections and vomitting bug are unfortunately "normal" insofar as he's being exposed to more germs than normal, along with parents sending in children when they are ill. If he's teething, you can smell the difference between a teething nappy and upset tummy nappy. Usually, nurseries I've worked in, we give the baby three chances before sending them home, so they wouldn't get sent home for a loose nappy if we knew they were teething and only had the one loose nappy.

I'm not sure why they asked about his Dad, unless they are trying to find a reason for him being upset. What would bother me more is that they are assuming that is the case, not the fact he is still a baby, has been ill and is teething.

Obviously I don't know your home situation but unless there are constant rows at home or tension and atmosphere, it's unlikely to be the cause.

They can't ask you to leave over teething either. So what if he needs extra hugs and comfort?

I'd also double check the nursery are cleaning sufficiently after bugs, particularly vomiting ones. If we had a vomitting bug, then we were paid to come in on a Saturday morning to deep clean the rooms, put all washable things through the machine and steam the carpet areas. This is on top of the weekly and every day cleaning we had to do.

Do they have a policy on this or do they just send them home willy nilly? Our nursery has been quite specific and explicit about conditions under which babies will be sent home/must not attend nursery.

Surely they must be used to it - babies get ill all the time when they start!

They've got a bit of a cheek asking about your relationship imo

I find the questioning of your home life odd unless they’re worried about your baby’s behaviour for some reason. My nursery wouldn’t phone me for one loose nappy, I think they have to have 3.

The germs are unfortunately totally normal and get better after the initial hellish year.

Nursery can guess at reasons for thing but remember you are the parent so push back on what they are saying. Just get your facts in and go in or email them in a non-emotional manner.

Little one is teething, children do react differently to this so what can they do?

Do they allow giving medication? Can you provide soothing teething toys from home? Do they supply cold tethers. If he's struggling I would suggest ibuprofen instead of calpol.

Our nursery call if more than two loose nappies in one day unless it is obviously caused by teething in which case they don't bother as not contagious. If child is teething they receive extra cuddles, I frequently see staff cuddling children who aren't 100%, they have float staff to maintain ratios why one member of staff is cuddling a child.