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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I tell the school about this teacher's past?

210 replies

Friendoffoxes · 24/11/2017 19:41

Longtime lurker here. A new teacher has joined my DC's school. It is a secondary and the subject she teaches is not one DC has chosen for options, so won't be teaching DC. I have only seen her on the website, so not come across her yet. Also I am married, so she wouldn't recognise me if she sees school related stuff with my name or DC's name. DH works from home so he does any pick ups if necessary, but DC normally takes the bus. Obviously I go to school stuff like performances, parents evenings, but do not get involved in PTA stuff or helping (dons Mumsnet hard hat)

I was a student with her and shared a house. She ended up stealing a significant amount of money (for a student) from me and two other people and when confronted tried to deny it and then tried to blackmail one of us (said she would tell everybody he had raped her-rubbish) if he would keep quiet about the money she had taken from him, and said the other two of us had agreed the money she had taken was a loan.

While we were dealing with this sh*t it emerged (don't want to go into details, but we started digging a bit) and she got expelled from a school because of bullying when she was younger. Also, her family got a shoplifting charge dropped (independent shop). Anyway, we decided to go to the police. We told her we would, if we didn't get the money back. Next thing we know, her family are on the phone, we have our money back with a nice generous extra added on top, on the condition we don't make any fuss.

We took it, we were young, trying to get on with our lives after graduating, skint.

Obviously she's passed a criminal check, but I'm horrified that she is working in a school. What do I do? do I have a quiet word with the school?

OP posts:
Creambun2 · 24/11/2017 19:58

Whatever the rights and wrongs it is all "he said/she said".

Babbitywabbit · 24/11/2017 19:59

I think the head teacher would label you as an interfering busy body frankly. It’s a shitty thing to steal off you, but frankly you didn’t exactly cover yourself in glory by taking more money than was stolen, and clearly that seemed a better option to you than reporting it.

Seriously , do you really imagine you can just go round to an employer and start sounding off about one of their workforce without any proof? This could backfire really badly on you

Pengggwn · 24/11/2017 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emma1282 · 24/11/2017 20:00

You never know. May be she has changed now. Probably left the past in the past. I think you should only talk if she creates any other problem for you or in the school.

CarlHickbread · 24/11/2017 20:01

Watching as I know a teacher who regularly drink/drug drives and I’m unsure what to do, she has crashed into someone in a brand new Range Rover out of her face and got away with it so I don’t know if she will again

OCSockOrphanage · 24/11/2017 20:02

I think I fall on the side of she has turned around, you should let sleeping dogs lie; if she hasn't, then it will come out soon enough.

LaurieFairyCake · 24/11/2017 20:03

Anyone saying they think she should be outed should have a good think about what they have in their past Hmm

I don't know anyone who hasn't done something dodgy or illegal or mind numbingly fuckwitted as a teen or young adult

Could you imagine if we were all judged as we were at 20 ?

EllaHen · 24/11/2017 20:03

Why on earth would the school believe you? Even if the HT did, what could he/she possibly do without any proof?

Also, I wouldn't alert this woman to the fact that your child attends this school and that you intend to cause her trouble.

echt · 24/11/2017 20:03

Carl, if you know a person is drunk at the wheel, phone the police.

PinkHeart5914 · 24/11/2017 20:05

Tell them what?

Teacher was young and fucked up
You never went to the police becuase you took the money instead
You’ve no proof
Teacher will of passed a police check
It’s all your version of events and they did this/thag. doesn’t make it fact

Let it go ffs

user1468353179 · 24/11/2017 20:05

She was young and you got your money back. If she's still stealing then I'm sure someone else will report her.

StefMay · 24/11/2017 20:05

Bearing in mind your child is in secondary school this must have happened a long time ago.

Leave it alone. People can and do learn from youthful mistakes. Don't talk about it as you could get in trouble for slander especially as you did not report it at the time. I would question your motivation for talking about this now.

CarlHickbread · 24/11/2017 20:06

I did, she hid, fluttered her eyelashes when she eventually got caught and she got away with it.

It’s no secret amongst the people that know her that she’s done this type of thing repeatedly but manages to get away with it.

yorkshapudding · 24/11/2017 20:06

You can't possibly think she's going to be sacked and prevented from Teaching again because you tell the school a completely unverifiable tale about something she did 10+ years ago?

Even if you could prove that the story is true, there is absolutely nothing to suggest she is a risk to children.

Ttbb · 24/11/2017 20:06

It's not like she has access to school funds so the stealing is a non-issue. The blackmail/threat of false accusation is another thing but unless she does something similar I don't see any need to share.

lettuceWrap · 24/11/2017 20:06

Nothingrhymes, regarding the person you shudder to think works with children... if you are taking about a crime committed against you/another young person in the past which that person may repeat with the children they teach - then it is NEVER too late to report a crime if you want to report it.

EllaHen · 24/11/2017 20:06

Carl, I know of a teacher with 2 drunk driving convictions. Apparently, as they are road traffic offences, they are not criminal offences. Well, that's what I've been told.

lalalalyra · 24/11/2017 20:10

There will be nothing the school can do with that kind of information.

She has no criminal record and you have no proof that she is guilty of anything. Think about it - what would you expect your employer to do if I rang them tomorrow and accused you of the things you'd be telling them about? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Also even if she was convicted of stealing money that wouldn't necessarily bar her from teaching. Even a theft conviction on a DBS wouldn't be an automatic issue. Employers can only use disclosed convictions negatively if they are relevant to the job.

As it stands you are someone who said she stole. She will say you loaned her money then when you changed the terms her family paid you back. You'll get nowhere telling the school this.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 24/11/2017 20:10

No. And don't be tempted to gossip about her in the playground either.

If she's not a good teacher or role model it will soon become apparent to the school. It's not a safe guarding issue and I doubt the school will be interested.

Mishappening · 24/11/2017 20:12

Well - her actions were awful, but, as you say she was young - and so indeed were you.

She would not have landed her job with a criminal record so hopefully she has turned her life around. Everyone deserves a second chance.

idfwu · 24/11/2017 20:13

Honestly, no. If you had such a moral objection you should have done something at the time. You just want to stir trouble.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 24/11/2017 20:13

No.its all history and she said,you said.plus you were remunerated
Even if she was ghastly there’s no point being gripey & malicious
Plus you’re in no way covered in glory having accepted a hush money bung

mamamalt · 24/11/2017 20:14

Rolling on the floor laughing at oldwitch who thinks the HT of a secondary school has got time to schedule a private meeting with you for a gossip. GrinGrinyour user name sounds like it is spot on. You must be a delight.
OP get over it. Jesus there must be some absolute perfect pollys on here for people to think she shouldn’t be a teacher!! You are being totally unreasonable

Battleax · 24/11/2017 20:14

You "did a bit of digging"? What did that involve exactly?

chocolateorangeowls · 24/11/2017 20:15

You have no proof, she obviously hasn’t got any serious criminal convictions as she passed the checks needed to be a teacher. Telling the school will have no impact at all.