To not want to be quizzed about breakfast?

[caramelmelted]

I do voluntary work and I often end up doing a weekend shift very early. It starts at 4 am.

I often end up doing it with another woman who asked me if I had breakfast before coming out. Obviously I said no - I don’t fancy eating in the middle of the night!

Now she keeps asking me and saying I should I actually find it a bit embarrassing. I’m sure she means no harm but AIBU

Just say you are going to get it afterwards. That's what most people would do if they were getting up to work between 4 and 7.30 am.

It actually sounds like you have issues around food. Having breakfast is not greedy. A simple question shouldn't make you feel sick or worried enough to start s thread.

She's making conversation, she doesn't give a shit if you eat cornflakes or cake or thin air.

I probably do. Prob an overreaction on my part.

To be honest I would wonder is she just trying to.make chit chat or else breakfast ideas.

You sound like you have serious issues where food is concerned.

She asked if you had eaten before your early shift. She never asked if you had ate anything the second you woke up.

Well lots of people have said your feelings over the conversation suggest you have food issues. Maybe you do, but that’s up to you to consider. I think she sounds really weird.

I start work at four some days too and I never eat at that time. If someone started asking over and over whether I’d eaten and trying to push me to do so, I wouldn’t lie, so I find all the reactions here quite odd. I’d tell her the truth. ‘No, I haven’t eaten and don’t want to because I’m not hungry at that time.’ Then if she continued to raise it, I’d just say ‘I don’t want to discuss it any more.’

Why lie when it’s unecessary? She’s being quite rude trying to force her opinions on you.

Um, I may be talking out of turn here, but having done some voluntary work, it takes all sorts to volunteer. For your co-worker it might just be her 'ice- breaker' of a morning. Go with Faded Red's suggestion and make life jolly.

Prob an overreaction on my part.

That's an understatement.

I think maybe she’s just making conversation, you know, small talk. I doubt she actually cares if you had a full English followed by ready break at 3am.

Some of the replies on here are a bit harsh OP.

It doesn’t sound like you have ‘serious issues’ but perhaps a little sensitive about a weight issue (sorry if I’m wrong) and find her question judgemental.

I understand a bit about the thought of getting up and eating at 4am when you finish at 7am making you feel a bit sick. I haven’t got any food issues and I’m a normal weight but the thought of that does make me feel a bit queasy and if I was asked EVERY day I might think “eeurgh do shut up”

But I do think you might be overthinking this. Just tell her you’ll eat breakfast at a normal time, i.e when you finish at 7 and if she keeps asking, look at her a bit and repeat, “I eat after my shift in the morning. Like I did yesterday. And the day before.”

You should have something before you go to work. I get up at 3.30 am six days a week for work (I start at 5.45 am) and my husband gets up even earlier (he starts at 4 am). We always eat something before we leave. Usually it's just a yoghurt or slice of toast. We save proper breakfast of pancakes, waffles etc (I live in the USA) for Sundays when we don't work.

I think she's just concerned.

"No, I have my breakfast when I get home". End of conversation.

I get what you mean OP - I can't eat anything until a couple of hours after I've woken up as the thought of it, never mind the food itself, makes me feel sick. After a couple of hours I'm perfectly fine, and if I have to be out really early I normally take some fruit etc with me in case I get hungry. For what it's worth, I have a totally healthy relationship with food, and my weight. I'm early 20s, btw, and have been the same size for years- and regardless, I've fortunately always been someone who has never been too bothered about my weight. I'm not sure why the thought of food makes me feel sick in the morning- it just does. But different people's bodies work in different ways.

Also, this would irritate me - constantly asking and telling you that you should eat before work at 4am? You'd think she'd have got the message by now wouldn't you? It's bound to grate on even the most patient person's nerves eventually! So imo YANBU for feeling annoyed at the constant questioning, and feeling embarrassed by it.

I suppose I feel a bit uncomfortable with my colleagues believing I’m so greedy I have to stuff my face in the middle of the night and it’s not even true

It's none of your colleagues business when you eat. But you are the one judging people for what time they eat at, your co-worker was suggesting you should eat, so it's the opposite of thinking you're so greedy that you have to stuff your face.

It’s not that I think everyone is greedy but I personally do not need to eat the second I get up.

If you don't think other people are greedy, why would it even cross your mind to say it?

I couldn't face breakfast at 4am either. But nor would I think that someone else was greedy for feeling hungry when they get up.

This reminds me of a thread a few months ago where a poster said she didn't allow her children to eat breakfast because it seemed gluttonous (her word) to feel hungry in the morning.

Why do you care so much about what other people think?

Your reaction is very strange. Just be honest and say you can't eat so early and would prefer not to talk about food as it makes you feel queasy at that time. I have to eat breakfast and would even at that time. I'm slim and healthy and would be offended at your suggestion I was greedy for doing so.

I agree, streetlife and others. Saying OP has 'serious issues' is a bit much..

I'm like you OP, I can't eat as soon as I get up. I need at least an hour before I'm interested in breakfast (preferably after at least 2 coffees!). Just tell your colleague not to worry about it - she needs to find something else to stress about!

Not sure why it makes you feel sick. The thing is to understand that her opinions are irrelevant and you shouldn't allow them to impact on how you feel.

Whatever she says to you re eating breakfast you respond 'I do not eat breakfast'. Don't expand on it. just say those five words, repeating every time she mentions it. She will soon get bored.

Put your big girl's blouse on OP.

Have you asked why she's so obsessed with what you're eating? Deflect it if it's annoying you. You should say that everyone has different eating patterns and you're totally fine with your own.

Your response to a fairly innocuous chat from someone you are working alongside is very odd, so yes, YABU.

It is pretty normal to have breakfast when you get up before you go out to work (or play, tbh) whatever the hands on the clock say, so it's not such an odd thing to do.
the 'being embarrassed' and 'feeling sick' when it is chatted about is a very odd reaction.

What a bizzare read ...

I always ask questions about food,because I love my food.
Hardly the crime of the century ...
Hope you've ate some supper ...