to think you don't just ask if someone's pregnant

[justplainfat]

NC for this.

Took DD to playgroup this morning and another lady said “are you expecting”
I’m not. I’m overweight and carry it all on my tummy. I told her this to which she replied “don’t lie! I can see that you are!” So I had to repeat again that I’m just fat.
This was in the middle of play and in front of other moms.
She then said “oh don’t embarrass me! You are aren’t you?!”

I’m humiliated.

AIBU to think you don’t just ask somebody and you should wait for it to be announced?

The worst part for me is that they're asking out of kindness, saying "when are you due?" Or "that's a lovely bump you've got"

The first time nobody was around so I teared up after the customer had left but managed to calm down.
But the second time a colleague was right next to me and I felt absolutely humiliated, I had to go stand in the back for about 20 minutes cause I couldn't stop crying which was even more humiliating.

I've always hated my body but I'm finally at an age where I've stopped feeling down about the way I look and now I get this all the time! So now I'm anxious every time I serve a customer waiting for that dreaded question I now wear tight pull in pants for work every shift! Not comfy but I daren't not wear them now

Sorry for the two large posts, I've been tempted to start a thread myself but I've now had my chance to vent

What the fuck is wrong with people.

I don't think I'd talk about someone's pregnancy even if they were very very obviously about to pop pregnant, rubbing their belly and waddling... just in case!
An old work colleague had a cyst on her stomach amongst hormonal weight gain issues and had customers every week ask her when she was expecting, bless her. I felt so sorry for her, it really got her down. People are so fucking clueless!!

I'm still upset and angry about it.

Going back to my slimming world group on Monday

Sorry for everyone else that's had this happen to them too. I would never say this to anybody.

I'm now thinking that she may have been discussing it with her friends and asked me and reported back to them what had happened.

I would be tempted to take your favourite pack of biscuits to your playgroup and in front of everyone offer her one, than say loudly something along the lines of 'oh maybe you shouldnt have a biscuit as you clearly think biscuits make you pregnant rather than just fat'

I'm so sorry OP, how humiliating and upsetting. Awful woman.

I agree with pp who say that you should never ask this. If she hasn't told you she's pregnant, then either she's not pregnant or she doesn't want you to know. Fuck off.

I recently had a friend and her husband demand to know whether I was pregnant and announce that they were certain I was, leaving me trying to deny it in front of a room full of friends and acquaintances. I am pregnant, actually, but I was only 5 weeks gone and it was an incredibly ignorant and upsetting thing to do.

So sorry she said this to you. She is a very rude person. Try not to take it to heart.

Poor you. Id never ask not just for this situation but because people say when their good and ready. Some people have zero social skills but I bet she is one of those who "just speaks my mind sorry not sorry".

I get offered seats on the tube regularly. I used to be upset but now I just say, 'ooh, thank you very much', and sit down