(light hearted -ish) about DH and my cat collection

[elfycat]

When DH and I met 17 years ago I had 2 cats. Since then we have had between 2 and 3 cats, currently 2.

I am a mad-cat-lady in training. He knows this. I can't walk past a cat in the street without stopping for a cuddle. Our DDs (8 & 7) are also cat-fans and we love nothing more than sitting down with a cat on/by us I have one on me now

DH had mentioned a few months ago that when the current cats grow old and die (they're 9 and 11) we could take a break from cat-ownership. The DDs and I agree we don't need that kind of negativity in our lives. I told him that I had cats when we met and intended to continue to own cats for the foreseeable future. Why would he think otherwise?

A friend with a son in DD1's class mentioned today that she might have to re-home her cat as she's incredibly busy with family bereavement/ illness and it's over-cleaning to the point of bald patches. She wants it to go to a home where cuddles are available and other cats for company. She wasn't hinting... I mentioned we might be interested (we had a cat PTS in October).

DH isn't keen, but WIBU to ignore him and get it anyway? It's a bengal (not that it matters but pretty kitty) and it plays fetch!

We have the space, we can afford the vet bills. I'm good at acclimatising cats to new homes/other cats. There are 3 full time laps and a part time lap for cuddles.

He's a keeper (DH that is). Glad i didnt say LTB. I'd still suggest offering to give kitty back eventually if she wants him/her though.

I don't think you can smuggle the Bengal in without him noticing...how about a temporary foster? The original owner might be able to have it back later.
Huskies really aren't good breeds for novice owners. Get your DH to find out more.

If she wrapped it for you for Christmas it would be rude to not accept it gracefully surely (joking - well maybe!)

YABU for not providing pictures of all the cats mentioned

Bengals are the loveliest cats by themselves but apparently beastly to other cats - hence I decided against the risk of my old cat being terrorised.

As your current cats are 9 and 11, and they can live for a pretty long time you could still have another 8 years or so before being cat free... How old is the bengal and what's their life expectancy?

Columbine I'd love to meet a cat who could terrorise No6. General agreement is that there's Maine Coon in her recent genealogy and while she's friendly to us (mostly) and our cat (after gentle introduction) she's a terror. One wrong stroke and she'll be wrapped around your arm chewing and she's fairly big (just over 6kg).

I'll suggest fostering to the owner, with permanent adoption if needed.

DH just got home. It seems he wants a pet of his own, one that loves him rather than me (5) or the kids (6).

cat pics

which ever way you go i would get your DH to look up huskies they are very high maintanance as in they need lots of attention and get bored very easily, they are long distance dogs no nipping round the corner for a quick walk, and at the moment are sadly becoming the breed that is filling up rescues as people go for thier pretty looks and by around six months old they cant handle them as they dont know how to socialise them properly, and as your husband works away how is the dog supposed to know he is supposed to love your husband exclusively when your husband isnt there a lot

I really would be careful with a Bengal. They are very bossy and territorial - not just in a "need to learn their place in the hierarchy" way but in a "this space is mine and no one else can come in it" way. They're just wired differently from your average moggy. I don't just mean the usual hissy fluffy show-off stage, I mean full-on ongoing aggression towards your existing cats. You might end up with a houseful of cats who are all stressed and miserable, permanently and unfixably.

It may work out fine, but do be prepared for it to not work out no matter how long they all have to get used to each other. Have a back up plan for Mr Bengal to go somewhere else if necessary.

I was just coming on to say the same thing. Do you have any experience of Bengals? I would really REALLY think hard about this. We had one and no way would I ever consider bringing one into a house with other, especially quite elderly non-Bengal cats.

They are really not like other cats- the nearest I can get is to compare them to an extremely needy and neurotic terrier. More like a dog than a cat. They are not known for sharing territories AT ALL and can be hugely aggressive. It's very likely that they would bully your other cats- they would at the very least be dominant and that would include the cuddles - a Bengal will want them all!

Ours was an only cat, madly affectionate but fought constantly from day one with all neighbourhood cats - lots of vet trips :( Just could not handle any other cat in its territory. Fine with dogs, and they've apparently good in Bengal pairs especially with litter mates.

The fact that the Bengal is already over grooming would seal it for me. Friends had one which cleaned off every bit of fur it could reach when they had a baby, no amount of feliway could fix it and they eventually rehomed to someone older with no other animals. I'd say this cat sounds like it really needs to go somewhere similar- absolutely not to a busy house which has other cats in situ. They really are incredibly needy and one which already has issues is not going to be an easy adoption.

I'd read up on them first but my advice would be to give this one a miss.

Yabu. Your husband wants a break so why not?

If the alternative was no cat, then fair enough. But as you have two, why not just give them all the love you can.

And now I have an excuse for a picture of the cat that greets people at our local Waitrose. Who has a loving home so the OP cannot adopt her!

YABU, but if I was a cat person I'd BU.

I've always made it clear to DP (and to his predecessor, before I rehomed divorced him) that if ever anyone asked to choose between them and the dog, the dog would win.

Huskies are fabulous dogs, but not for first-time dog owners imo. A lot of husky breeders say they should never be let off the lead, and other dogs often seem to behave aggressively towards them. And they need so much exercise, I have to have a lie down just thinking about it.

oooh bengal you say?

'Can we go and see it at hers tomorrow?'

Your DH is very polite.
My interpretation of the above is that he needs to think about it.
'Can we go and SEE it' (I've not made up my mind) TOGETHER (it's my decision too) AT HER HOUSE (don't bring it here - it'll never leave).

You need to sell to your dh that this cat could be 'his', maybe promise not to stroke it (much!)?