Mother and money...

[JakeBallardswife]

My Mum recently had major surgery and is now convalescing, she was really critical for a few days but a month on is recuperating and slowly on the mend.

However, one sticking point is money, it always is with my Mum and I can't work out if I''m being too sensitive about it. Really I just want to rant.

I've ordered lots of stuff on my Mothers behalf with the expectation she'll reimburse. She hasn't though. Items she's asked me to purchase have arrived with her and I've not been paid for them, so in tesco's today my card got rejected. Humiliating but not the end of the world. So I called Mum and asked her to reimburse me asap. She's just emailed and said she's added £1 to cover any costs my end and its really annoyed me. Not the fact that she didn't transfer money but the £1 to cover costs.

What stuff did you order?

I'd take the stuff back till she pays. I wouldn't have given them her in the first place tbh.

I would ask her out right why she has only sent a pound when she knows you have spent more. A pound will cover nothing.

What was it you brought and how much have you spent?

Sorry, it wasn't totally clear she's now transferred money owed plus £1 and has made a point of transferring the extra £1 to cover my costs for ordering stuff for her.

I bought clothes, comfy shoes, extra bedding, special pillows etc. all ordered as requested and really wasn't a problem. Until she didn't pay me. Only when I said my card was declined in a shop did she transfer the money.

Sorry, has she reimbursed you and added a pound? Or only given you a pound in total?

Total spend was £634

I don't know what your upset about isit you wanted more money or to be paid quicker.

Did you agree a time frame. Is she ill recovering or is she ok now ?

Is she saying she's giving you a pound as a fee for ordering or for a card charge.

Xpost.

So the pound is a bit passive aggressive, you think? I would be pretty

Yes, I'm thinking the £1 is a bit passive aggressive. She either just needed to pay me the money when the total was in 8 days ago. An apology for late payment or thank you wouldn't go amiss.

This is why I'm letting it out here rather than with her.

Ahhhh I see.

Yes this would piss me off. I personally wouldn't bother again if she's going to be arsey or not even say thanks.

Don’t order anything else on your card-say you can’t run the risk of your card being declined again. If she wants stuff and is unable to order it herself, she needs to give you her card details.

I'd give her the pound back and ask her not to be silly.

If you were my DD and I needed shopping and bedding after surgery, I'd give you my own credit card to use online or transfer money across online.

Was the surgery a shock, ie emergency surgery?

I'd send the £1 back.

It does seem a bit odd to add the £1. Next time I’d say to her that she needs to transfer you the money before you buy it as you don’t have enough money in your account so need it in advance

Maybe she just rounded it up to £635 and was a bit clumsy in her explanation as to why. My DM always rounds things up when she's paying me back.

Great, thank you all. I'm over it, I've just been round to see her and she's thanked me for all the support etc.
Love her lots, worry and stress do odd things. Thank goodness for a Mumsnet rant.

Yeah, I was going to say it sounds like she's rounded it up.

In future, ask for the money beforehand. Tell her that you were really embarrassed having your card declined, so want to avoid that happening again.

Our card was declined the other day, even though I knew there was a couple of hundred in the account. It was really embarrassing, and worrying. Husband nipped to the cashpoint while our shopping was taken down to customer service, and the money was in there. We tried the card again at CS, and it went through fine. Must have been a glitch.

Very passive agressive but I can't imagine giving a shit if someone did that to me.