To Be Offended!?

[LetItRain88]

My LB is 11 weeks old and during the birth I suffered 4th degree tears. Needless to say exercise has been almost non existent except for the last few weeks I’ve forced myself out for a walk with the baby. Dieting hasn’t exactly been top priority and I have not exactly ‘bounced back’ body wise. I have gone from a 12/14 to a 14/16 or the occasional 18 which is a little baggy but still fits.

I’m not happy about it but I just figured I’d hop on the band wagon in January with everyone else and make a real go of getting into shape again.

However earlier today I went for lunch with my grandpa. He starts telling me about all these supplements I need to be taking because, and I quote, “you really need to lose weight”. He’s commented here and there about my weight before. He saw me when my baby was three days old and he pointed at my belly and said “I thought that would be gone by now. When’s that going to go?” He’s never had much tact so I just ignored him. But today it upset me a lot.

My husband has hinted at eating healthier etc which I don’t mind as it’s true, I definitely could eat healthier. But to be told straight up “you need to lose we

Yanbu. My second doesn't child is 9 months and I'm just starting to think about trying to lose a bit.

I am recovering from a fourth degree tear too. At 10 months post partum. The damage that’s been done is something you can’t understand unless you’ve had it, I’m fuming for you because I know how awful it is. You didn’t just give birth and back to normal the next day, it’s a serious complication. You aren’t healed, no way you should be worrying about this crap.
I’m just now starting to focus on losing weight but I’ve had a lot more serious stuff to worry about than weight loss, as I’m sure you have.
Tell them to bore off. Until they’ve pushed a human out and ripped wide open they don’t get to say an opinion out loud lol

In the first few sleepless months I couldn’t have survived without the instant energy of sugar and fat just to get me through the day tbh. It took me a while both times but the extra weight came off.

Next time hold up a knife and sewing kit and offer to slice their perineum open from arse hole to dick, sew them up and you will then escort them to the gym if they feel they would be able to actually walk never mind exercise.

Fuck off works too.

I remember visiting my Dad and his wife 17 days after the birth of my 3rd baby. My stepmother (who had never had a baby herself) looked me up & down and said, "You used to be such a slim girl, what happened?" I was hugely upset so entirely understand now you feel OP.

Youth
You should have looked at her uncredulously and said very slowly "I grew a baby inside me have you had your eyes shut for 9 months?"

You are doing great OP, a 4th degree tear is serious and there is no way you should be expected to lose all of your baby weight, which took ten months to gain in just 11 weeks. Yes some fortunate woman are back in their skinny jeans within a week. But most of us are still wearing maternity clothes after eleven weeks. And that is fine!!!

If your dh or grandfather comment on your weight again, tell them you will happily cut them from testacles to anus, stitch them back together, have them take care of a newborn 24/7 whilst losing weight and exercising. If they say they would rather not then tell them to shut the hell up! Neither of them are Doctors and you will not take any advice off them until they show their qualifications in obstetrics and gynaecology!

I was told by my obstetrician that my body wasn't coping with my second pregnancy because I hadn't given it enough time to heal from my first pregnancy! My son was 18 months old when my daughter was conceived! Your body is only 11 weeks post a very traumatic birth! Give your body time to heal!

oops, cross posted willow!

It was 9 months that the weight went on. It's offensive to you for people to be commenting at all on your weight. Do it when you want to and in the right frame of mind rather than feeling backed into doing it.

She had a first-class degree in Bitchy Sniping Willow 2017 which I had been putting up with for many years, so of course it was too good an opportunity for her to miss! But you're right I should have been able to muster up a razor-sharp reply, but sadly didn't.

YANBU It took me 2 yrs after each child to get back to an ok weight and shape. I wasn’t miserable during that time, things moved slowly in the right direction, so to speak, so that was fine. You have made a baby, you’re amazing! I told my DH it would take a while, he didn’t care, he was supportive and loving and made sure I knew he fancied me ( I think he quite liked the extra curves!) Just as he is now that I’m 46 and fighting middle age spread! But really, it’s your body, it is nobody else’s business to comment. Age is no excuse really unless they have actually got dementia. Enjoy being a mum and concentrate on healing. You were not put on the earth to be an ornament, as some men seem to think.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable! I see this shit a lot as a midwife and it annoys the hell out of me. A fourth degree tear is horrendous - so tell them both to eat a shit!!

Does you Grandad sell Juice Plus or something?! I would have been hard pushed not to tell him to fuck off and your husband can wind his neck in too! It must have been so hurtful for you to hear but they are talking shite. It would make me want to distance myself from them both though. Arseholes.

Caledonian
Ha ha great minds😉

Thanks for the replies ladies But see what I meant to put in my original post but posted before I had a chance (stupid fat fingers I have too apparently lol) is that my Grandpa is quite eccentric and we think undiagnosed autistic because of the way he is. I think it almost hurts more because he says what he sees and it is obviously what other people see too but have the tact not to say out loud.

DH says to eat healthier when I say I’m upset about my weight so I can’t even really be upset about that as, like most men, he looks to fix problems instead of just being sympathetic which is usually what I want. He thinks it’s helpful

Doesn’t help that my mum bounced back wonderfully with all three of her babies, including the youngest which she had at 38 years old. People expected me to too but I definitely didn’t get her good genes in that area. Lol xx