to ask you to tell me how children's parties work now?

[Moanyoldcow]

I'm so sorry for this utterly rubbish post, but I really don't know how children's parties work now and would appreciate some guidance.

When I was a kid, everyone squeezed into my house, we played 2 hours of party games, ate ourselves stupid and then it finished. Party bags were handed out with a bit of tat and some cake and parents always left kids and collected a bit later.

I've been to a couple of kids' parties as an adult but they have all been pre-school so everyone stays and they've been pretty small and with close friends - more like an adult party with kids if that makes sense.

My son has had his first invite since starting Reception and is very excited to go. Do I drop him or stay with him (he's 4). If we're supposed to stay is it okay if me and DH stay? Can I put money in a card or is a present the best thing?

Thanks in advance and please just ignore if it's too boring for words

Ask by text if it is a drop off (or if you are worried about seeming cheeky, turn up assuming you'll stay unless it is obvious you are the only parent there). If it is in a house you can both stay but you might be putting pressure on seating space etc for adults, so it would be nice if one of you was prepared to loiter in the hallway/sit on the floor for parts of it if there aren't enough chairs! :-)

Buy two generic gifts for the right age group from the Argos 2 for £10/£15 selection, wrap and use one this time and keep the other for the next party. If you never see another party invite again (unlikely), then you can eventually give the spare gift to your own DC anyway.

Be aware of the time in your own right and clear out promptly at the given end time. :-)

At 4 I would expect to stay. Buy a little present £5-£10 max and a card.

I'd check with the organiser of the party .. everyone can do different things . Is there a contact number on invite ?

All of ours have been stay parties - so far we have has two in halls, three at houses & 3 at soft play centres. I hate kids' parties.

We spend £10 tops, less if I can get away with it!

At 4 I would stay too, unless it was at a house, room was limited, and I knew the hosting parents well.

In reception, everyone stayed unless it was at home, then only a handful did (depended on the child’s personality).

Where is the party? If it's at the child's home, the parents might not want you to stay if they are short on space (still not unreasonable though to ask, given your son is only 4 and they may of course be glad of the help!). If you do stay, I would make it one of you or DH, again for space reasons.

If it is at a venue, such as soft play, there will probably be plenty of space for you and DH to sit around and have a coffee, whilst watching to make sure that your son doesn't try and escape! Might be a good chance to get to know some of the prints of children in your DS's class, if you want to.
I would buy a present, rather than cash, and a card.

At 4 yes you should probably stay and probably just one of you .
Present is more usual than £

Thank you everyone!

It's in a hall so I suppose space won't be at a premium. I'd prefer to stay so glad that seems like the norm. I'd normally take him alone but I know my DH wants to see him having fun with his friends as this is the first party - I expect we'll be arguing about who gets stuck taking him by the end of the year!

Thank you for the advice about presents - heading online this evening then!

They did give a phone number and I sent an RSVP as soon as I got the invite (I've seen enough threads to know not to forget to do that!) but didn't get a reply so I hope they got it... Maybe I'll send another message and just ask if I can do anything to help...

Yes - I'm hoping it will give me a chance to get to know some of the other parents.

Venue is very close to home so maybe we'll both take him and see who is staying - if mums and dads are both we can follow their lead. Otherwise one of us will bugger off.

Thanks again everyone.

Unfortunately it's very hard to say what the norm in your child's class is going to be.

At my DC's infants, pretty much no one stayed at Reception parties, whereas my SIL mentioned that at her school parents had only "started to think about leaving their DC at parties, once they got to Y2".

Similarly £5 would be fine to spend on a present for random child in class, maybe £10 for a close friend. Whereas friends in more affluent areas would be automatically spending a minimum of £10 on a present and possibly £15 (and party host would be spending a fiver per party bag).

A present is better than cash at this stage.
I'd personally find it odd if you AND DH stayed - one parent should be fine.

If you don't know the parent I wouldn't ask if there is anything you can do to help, although on the day helping tidy up would he appreciated I'm sure

Ok thanks.