Some context:
His dad and I broke up a year ago, and we started off with a good arrangement where by he would see our 2 year old son every weekend but never have him overnight. However, a few months ago he decided to move 3 hours away and only sees our son once a month. When he does see our son he is frequently late and calls me during the day to try and drop him back home early. Our son no longer even mentions or speaks of his dad, probably because he sees him so infrequently. His dad is also very verbally abusive towards me and seems to harbour massive resentment since our break up last year.
He would like to have our son for a week over the Christmas period, and will have him 3 hours away at his parents house. I would also like to point out that my son doesn't really know his grandparents on my ex-partners side, he has seen them maybe 3 times this year. Initially I agreed but I am now having some doubts.
Would I be unreasonable to refuse our two year old staying with him for a week for the following reasons:
- His dad hasn't had him overnight in over a year so has no idea what his routine is like. My son also wakes up crying for me on occasion and gets very distressed if anyone else tries to comfort him (e.g. my mum, who my son is very close to and sees everyday).
- His dad sees him so infrequently and he sees me everyday/evening so I really don't know how he would handle being away from me for a week.
- He barely knows his grandparents on that side.
- His dad is very verbally abusive towards me, and to be frank I don't trust him not to bad mouth me in front of our son.
- It's such a long distance away (3 hours drive minimum) that if our son was distressed it would difficult for me to get there.
I am not opposed to his dad having him for a long weekend, say Fri-Mon but I really have an uneasy feeling about allowing him to go for an entire week.