November 2016, my then 16m old DD ended up on intensive care with a bad chest infection, we nearly lost her twice. At that point she already had a few known problems.
In the year since then it's been one thing after another. Held back at Nursery due to fears about her development, she was a late walker and still doesn't talk. She's had repeated chest infections, colds, and coughs. She gets random rashes and skin reactions. She's been admitted to hospital twice more since the beginning of 2017. She misses Nursery regularly to see this doctor or this nurse for this condition and that condition and still I get passed from pillar to post and no-one can tell me anything, paeds are waiting for respiratory who're waiting for ENT who're waiting for Orthopedics who don't know their arse from their elbow, they're supposed to review DD every 3 months but they're always at least 6 months behind on reviews, she's had 1 this year when she should of had 4.
And I make a fuss, I contact PALs, my GP and the health visitor all make noises but all it comes down to is "we're understaffed and have a huge number of patients".
And then DH has a condition that needs an op. There's only two doctors in our area that can do this operation, he was supposed to have it in February but then they delayed it until May, then tried a cheaper treatment which hasn't worked and now he's waiting on the operation again and all the while he too is picking up infection after infection and needing antibiotics and then getting told off by the GP because he's going to become resistant to Antibiotics. And he's complained and PALs have complained and the GP has complained but it's the same again, not enough doctors and too many pateints.
And then I seem to suffer. I've done so well with my mental health up to now. I had bad PND after DD was born but I had counselling, went on antidepressants and got support. I was through the other side. But now I just want to run away again.
Since June I've been suffering with recurrent ear infections. I know the signs now and get myself to the GP as soon as I'm getting symptoms. Today I've been back thinking I'm getting symptoms again but my ears impacted, quite badly. The nurse couldn't syringe it, she said it's one of the worst impactations she's ever seen which means I need a referral to hospital. I'm in so much pain my ear feels like it's about to explode. It doesn't feel fair, I clean my ears with olive oil drops regularly, wear ear plugs with Vaseline in the shower and use dry shampoo instead, wear a hat when it's windy - all things I've been told to do by the doctor to help prevent infection and yet I still seem to suffer. I think childbirth is easier than this.
I am probably being UR. I just want to run away and cry until the pain goes away. DD has yet another appointment tomorrow and I don't know how I'm going to manage as I've got very little hearing in that ear and the pressure is so so bad. I've taken painkillers, but they only dull the pain not cure it. DH is working so he can't take her.
I can't sleep because it hurts, but I'm so tired.
I just want the pain to stop and life to give me a break.