About DH's drinking?

[moutonfou]

DH likes a beer from the supermarket in the evening. We also go to the pub about once a week, and if we eat out he'll always have a beer then too. All in all he probably spends about £30-£40 a week on alcohol.

For whatever reason, I don't drink at all, even soft drinks. I just don't really get anything from drinking flavoured liquids and am happy with water. It's not a health thing; just a personal preference and TBH my vice is chocolate!

What bothers me isn't the drinking, which is pretty low-key, but:

1. the fact that our combined finances go on it, when I have no comparable 'thing' that costs anywhere near as much. I'm um-img and ah-ing about treating myself to a one-off painting course that costs £120 because it seems so much money, but DH pretty much spends that on alcohol in a month!
2. the fact that we've both given up snacks to try to be healthier, and yet DH continues to drink, which I see as basically equivalent to a snack. So I have to sit here desperately craving chocolate while he happily indulges his vice!

AIBU? Should I just get over it or should I find a comparable 'treat' for myself?

I think you should give over to be honest. And stop martyring yourself (and him) over snacks and treats. So what if he drinks beer? Just don't eat snacks yourself. He's not doing it to spite you!

How much does that translate to in terms of actual alcohol?

Sorry but that much on beer is mad.

I wouldn't scrimp about if you want something buy it. He clearly does.

I’d find yourself a comparable treat. When I was pregnant and therefore not drinking my OH would buy alcohol out of his own money which seemed fair as it can be a significant expense.
But it’s not his fault that you aren’t having snacks.

Well I'm in a pub that just charged £5.50 for a pint so it'd be easy to rack up £30. Course it's a lot more volume I'm supermarket beers, but say he drank wine it could easily just be three bottles. Still on the excessive side from a teetotal or a medical standpoint but not that unusual. I think honestly it's fine for a grown up to spend that much per week however they want (although ideally not heroin!) and you shouldn't be agonising about your painting class either. The shared funds thing is tricky because if you share your funds then course that's where it's gonna come from, and presumably you're welcome to spend more than him on haircuts or whatever. So I'm gonna say yabu unless this turns out like that other 'three glasses of wine' thread and there's a whole load of unreasonable behaviour on his part yet to be mentioned.

Do all your outgoings come out of joint funds, or just food, drink and household bills? If everything comes from your joint funds, then are you really so sure you don't spend more on, eg, hot water for showers, make up, perfume, clothes, shoes, jewellery, haircuts, hobbies, etc, than he does? Or want the house warmer than he does? Do you have any pets that one of you wanted more than the other or anything like that? Tbh, I think you are thinking about this in a rather mean spirited way, but I guess if your joint finances are only supposed to cover limited things and you don't have much cash spare at the end of the week, that £30-£40 a week on alcohol must be a bit irritating to you if you don't also get some kind of treat out of shared funds.

Book your painting course and buy yourself some chocolate...life is way too short to be worrying about little things like this.

I have just bought a bottle of wine in a bar and it cost nearly £20, if you can afford it, indulge a bit!

Book your painting course and buy yourself some chocolate...life is way too short to be worrying about little things like this.

I have just bought a bottle of wine in a bar and it cost nearly £20, if you can afford it, indulge a bit!