AIBU to feel disappointed after DD's father has frequently cancelled last minute when coming to visit her...
Just for a bit of background, DD is 9 months old and I am not together with her father. She was a surprise and we were only seeing each other briefly when I found out. I informed him early on and said that I was planning to keep her. I explained that I didn't expect any involvement or money from him if he did not wish to give it, as I was well aware that this was my choice. However, on finding out he was adamant that he did want to be involved in her life.
We saw each other several times during my pregnancy and his mother flew over to meet me as she lives abroad. He came to the hospital to see her the day she was born and the week after, the day when she came home. However, during her 9 months of life, he has visited her erratically, sometimes every other week, sometimes not for a month. He always visits her at my home (which I share with my mother) and I have tried to be very flexible and provide him with meals and drinks whenever he comes to make him feel comfortable.
I understand that this was not his choice and so have been very accommodating and forgiving whenever he cancels. He is a busy student at a high pressured university and would like me, be considered a young parent. However, I am worried at what point it's okay to ask for some consistency and frequency to his visits?
I think I have felt hesitant to push the issue because I somehow feel that any contact he has with her I should be grateful for. However, at what point should I stop feeling guilty for forcing him into parenthood? I have never made him change a nappy and have been quick to leap in when she cries. Am I making things worse?
Anyway, the original intention of the post was to ask AIBU reasonable to be upset that he has cancelled again the day before visiting her? Some of his reasons seem legitimate but sometimes they can just be as simple as a hangover. We are now going away for Christmas so he may not see him until January... should I say something for risk of scaring him away?