To give a present back?

[LunarGirl]

My brother has today given me my Christmas present early. He said he couldn't wait to give it to me and seemed so excited.

I absolutely love it, it's an item of memorabilia, I collect items related to it. I've since looked online to find out how to hang the item as there were no instructions and found it selling for around £250! I don't know how much dbro actually spent as he bought it from a store that isn't online but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have been much cheaper.

I can't accept it. We usually spend no more than around £40 on each other. I wouldn't even want DH to spend that much on me! I really want to get dbro to return it but DH says that would be really rude and hurt dbro's feelings.

Not sure what to do! There's no way I can get dbro a present worth even half of that. I know you don't give to receive etc but it just doesn't feel right to me.

Enjoy the present! Give your DB a hug or several and let him know how thrilled you are.
(And, at some point, maybe in the New Year, have a little think about why you consider yourself so unworthy of nice things, and whether you could get rid of that feeling. People who 'don't expect anything' and 'don't like fuss' can actually be a tiny bit tiresome and martyrish.)

Accept it gracefully for the special treat it is.

Does anyone else really want to know what it is??

Life is long. At some point you can return the favour. Enjoy your gift and be glad someone put some thought into the gift!

If you try and return it because you know how much it is can you imagine what would go through his mind?

Keep it. Enjoy it. Be appreciative you have someone in your life who thinks so much of you.

Don't reject that gift in all its forms.

Another way to look at it might be if he is in a much higher earning bracket than you maybe that is the same proportion of his income as £40 is to you?

Also "it's the thought that counts" you could get him something for £40 that is still very meaningful and precious to him I'm sure.

I was raised that graciously accepting gifts and compliments is as much good manners as giving nice gifts and compliments.

Also having worked in retail entirely possible as ex display stock could easily be 1/5 of original price especially at this time of year.

Stabby your post very much reads as you want to tell your brother you've bought him a gift as you don't normally, it costs loads and you would like something equally expensive back. I fully expect you to say that's not what you meant at all so maybe you need to convey that better to your brother as you really haven't said that.

One of my SiL spends thousands on our family some years at Christmas. They've just sent a gift for a Birthday worth around £500. They know we won't be reciprocating with gifts of equal value. I always buy something them something really nice, some flowers and a really heartfelt card. I feel uncomfortable about the cost, but they genuinely love spending tons of money on other people.

Sending it back would be awfully rude. A well-meant thank you and a hug is all that's needed.

Oh no you cant do that. It'd be so hurtful and embarrassing for your db.
I don't know anyone who expects the same amount to be spent on them.
If you've got it you've got it. If you haven't you haven't.

You don't know how much he paid for it. Perhaps he got it at an auction or charity shop where its full value wasn't realised by anyone else. Stick to your pre-agreed amount for his gift and be thankful you have such a nice brother.

I don’t want anything in return at all. He knows I’m not a materialistic person too. Iv told him it’s expensive because it is and he’s a must have that kind of person it has made it even more exciting for him. He loves Christmas, he wakes me every Xmas at the crack of dawn with calls & texts. He’s like a big kid & keeps asking what it is can & he have it now. And to be fair it’s probably not that expensive to him but it is to me!

Accept it gracefully, but do something to show your gratitude like cooking him and his partner a three-course meal!

What a lovely brother.

I collect old coins and my DB once gave me a gorgeous collection of silver three penny pieces - Some were quite rare and I know roughly how much he would have spent but your your DB he was so excited and pleased because he knew he'd found me exactly the right thing.

I would rather spend £80 (or more) on something I knew was exactly right for the recipient than £40 on something that would do.

Enjoy it in the spirit it was given OP :)

OK, I won't say anything to him about returning it. I genuinely do love it. And him. Will have to get searching for an amazing, in budget, present for him now!

For those asking, it's a Nimbus 2001 life size replica.

You absolutely mustn't return it, you shouldn't really have an idea what it cost, just enjoy it and buy him something you can afford as per usual, that's all he wants in return.

Accept the gift in the same spirit it was given, and enjoy it. Your brother is clearly a thoughtful person and it would be rude to give it back.

What a cool gift!

Arf at the poster clueing her brother in that the present she'd bought him was expensive "in case he wants to buy her one back". Why??

I told DSis a couple of years ago what price bracket her present was in because she was suffering from dreadfully low self esteem and I wanted her to know she was worth it.

Strange...

Definitely enjoy it and enjoy having a brother who is so lovely.