To not really know what love feels like?

[Roastedapples]

It isn't something you feel all the time, or is it? I don't feel like I properly love my own children. Yet I must because I am patient and kind and I would sacrifice anything so they could be happy yet despite all that I always feel I'm pretending to love them because most of the time I just feel irritated and a bit resentful.

What would proper love look or feel like to you Roastedapples?

I don't know, that's why I am asking here really!

To be loved by someone is knowing that they will protect you and knowing that you can turn to them when you're hurt and upset.

I bet your kids cling onto you when they're hurt, upset, a bit emotional?

I had a shit day today and sat in my car and cried, the only person I want is my mum. She died 5 years ago so I'm thinking about what she would say to me if she was alive.

I'm sure you're a wonderful mum.

I'm having therapy as I had a odd, dysfunctional childhood in a family that was at best unloving, at worst abusive, so I struggle with the definition of love too Roasted.

I do love my children as I want the best for them and would do anything I could to set them on the best path for their life ahead. I have kept them safe, encouraged them at school, provided consistent care and attention and have told them that I love them. I'm not their slave but I think they know that I will always look out for them and support them.

However, that is not to say that at times they don't drive me NUTS! At times I have also wanted to run for the hills and have wished that they weren't so needy and dependent. I think those are normal feelings to have from time to time.

Anyhow, enough of my blather! Why do you feel frustrated and resentful Roasted?

Of course you love your children you silly sausage.

You would not be normal if you didn't get aggravated with them sometimes. Kids are hard work. Even when they are generally quite 'good!'

I think you have pretty much described love in your OP. Feeling like you would do anything to ensure the happiness of people who make you feel irritated and resentful sums it up pretty well really when it comes to DC. Love mine to bits, but dear god at times he can be annoying!

I think this is where the "I love them but sometimes I dont like them very much" thing comes from - you'd do anything for them because you love them and want them to be happy, but it doesnt mean that you dont sometimes wish you could have a lie-in instead of being the referee for the morning tantrums and sulks!