AIBU to think leaving London for a new city is preferable to the suburbs?

[jumpyfrog]

I'm a born & raised Londoner (SW), husband the same (SE). We currently live in SW London & in the catchment of an outstanding school. As my mum is 10 mins walk & inlaws 10 min drive we also have a great support network & have 1 day of childcare plus babysitting provided by them.

However looking to the next few yrs we really would like a bigger property & perhaps try for DC3. 90% of our friends have moved out to either zone 5 (Sutton, Bromley, S.Croydon) or to surrounding counties (Kent, Surrey, Sussex & Essex) & this seems to be the natural step.

AIBU to hate the idea of moving to the suburbs/countryside & thinking moving to another city would be better for me?
I've always lived within 10 mins walk of the high street & the tube & cant stand the idea of driving everywhere. Obviously jobs are an issue but I run a small online business & my husband would still get a decent salary in areas such as Bristol.

Has anyone moved from London to a new city? was it a good decision? where did you go?

My friends and I did this a decade or two ago, over a period of a few years- I know very few people in London now. There was a gradual dispersion from London to Bristol, Manchester, Cardiff, Bath. No regrets from anyone, we are all thriving and we can all get to London easily to see the odd few people we still know there. However, being far away from your supportive family will be hard, especially with three DC. Is there no way you can currently accommodate a third child?

I agree that some of the commuter suburbs are soulless and featureless. There are some very nice places too, though.

We moved to Birmingham from London. I’d lived in London for 8 years and grown up in Hertfordshire so it felt like a big change. I wasn’t at all sure about it at first, but it made sense for my DH’s job and also his family are only 15 miles away. It took me about 4 years to settle and in that time I even moved back to London part time (Mon-Thur) to work for over a year.

Just saw you're in Clapham. You could buy a 3 bed house in Herne Hill or Dulwich for 850k and add 1-2 extra bedrooms with a 50k loft conversion when your DC are older and need their own rooms. There are outstanding secondary (Charter School) and primary options so you really don't need to leave London. You'd be 15 min from Clapham on the 37 and gave Lordship Lane close by

I live in home counties and commuting is dire, hate it, detrimental to working and family life. Lower housing costs, less pollution and pressure on public services and access to london jobs are the main benefits IME. If moving to another city with DC I would want to be confident of plenty of iob options should one of us be made redundant.

My DH and I are both from London, I’m a Bromley by bow girl, he is Dagenham. Moved to Birmingham, obviously away from all family but there is no way I would leave brum now. I’m a fully paid up yam. It’s a great city, so much better than London and I never thought I could ever settle anywhere other than London having lived in so many places in the uk. But I found my place. I think it’s not just ticking all the boxes , it’s finding the place that captures your heart.

...but now I love it! Beautiful (and affordable) house in a lovely area, nice friends, easy to do all of the best things on offer in the city and always something going on. 10 minute drive to the city centre and London an easy day trip on the train, which I do regularly for work and to see friends. I’m not sure I would have done it if there hadn’t been family here already.

Yes Mishfish we moved from London to Norwich. Initially I was resistant and yes the city is small however our quality of life has won me over. We bought less than a mile from the city centre so walking distance into town. Loads of free events all year round. I miss the buzz of London but we visit and I get my "fix". High recommend it.

I’m a Londoner born and raised and my parents still live there. We moved out to commuter belt 10 years ago and I must admit I’m a convert. I’ve got used to driving everywhere, DH’s commute to the city takes him an hour door to door (compared to 40 mins when we were living in zone 2!), we have a big garden and the DC go to a village school which is a lot nicer than my London primary school back in the 70s/80s. I work outside London and drive to work. Not a lot that I miss to be honest with you.

OP if I were you I would stay where you are. There's so much to be said for having family support nearby and a good school. Brighton and Bristol have lots going for them but, at the end of the day, they're not London.

If you must move out, go no further than St Margaret's or Teddington (other side of the river from Richmond where I doubt you'd get more for your money). Richmond has character in its own right, but you can still be in Chelsea within half an hour. When it comes to greenery in London, southwest is best! Anywhere on the river makes you feel as if you can breathe a bit. Clapham is great, but it can feel a bit intense. What about Putney, Barnes, Mortlake / Sheen - or Kew? You won't get a bigger house necessarily, but you might feel slightly calmer?

I live in Bromley. It would definitely feel too small if I stayed here all the time. But who does that? I work in town, I socialise in town. We take the kids into town at weekends (they’re free on the train). My husband is a cyclist and he can both cycle to work a few times a week (he works in the City) and spend weekends cycling out in the country.

I love Brighton and would happily live there, too.

ecureuil - Guildford isn't dire. It has loads of restaurants, cafes, shops, chains and independents, a theatre that does trials prior to West end runs, a music hall that has good gigs and comedy, two other good indie music venues, a cinema, ice rink, outdoor lido, swimming pool, bowling alley, market, arock and classical music festivals, a university, some major UK silicon valley gaming companies, big park, riverside walks, fantastic walking countryside on its doorstep, gorgeous places to visit nearby - vineyeards and stately homes, Box Hill and Devil's Punchbowl, great state and independent schools.

I don't live there, but do live in Surrey and we go out in Guildford fairly often.

I thought it was dire! Hated living there. We’re all different.

Stay where you are. If you move to a smaller city it will always feel like a compromise. Especially as you have no reason to move to said small city (other than a bigger house). Also I think it's bonkers to move v. far away from supportive family when you have young kids.

It’s not very diverse. It’s dull.

Guildford I meant

Do you want another child more than what you have now?

There are plenty of market towns and lively places to live without having to use a 🚘
Pick somewhere with a railway station and good public bus routes

Moving away from the south east and the density of people and building will drop dramticly

For that budget, you should consider North London. You could get a 3-4 bed house in Mill Hill area. Loads of green, good schools including grammars (although superselectives) and walking distance to tube stations and overground.

I moved from London to Bath and never looked back. The main difference (apart from I can see green fields in whichever direction I look) is the people are a lot more laid back and friendly and there is a real sense of community in the various neighbourhoods. AND I can walk everywhere in Bath... work, shopping, and out to countryside within 1/2 an hour.
You won't get a huge house in the posh areas of Bath for 800,000 but you could get a fairly large semi in a nice area.
I have lots of friends that live in Bristol and there's more going on in the way of nightlife and arts there, but none of my friends walk to work or to shopping. And it's only 10mins on the train from Bath so easy to get to when you want to go out.

about Putney, Barnes, Mortlake / Sheen - or Kew? You won't get a bigger house necessarily, but you might feel slightly calmer?

Putney and Barnes are more expensive than Clapham. But there are bits of Mortlake and Sheen where you could scrape a 3 bed house + garden. Click

I'd be putting in a cheeky offer on something like this with that budget where I live

www.rightmove.co.uk/s6p/65278973

Haha.. wrong link thanks rightmove

I found this property on the Rightmove Android app and wanted you to see it: www.rightmove.co.uk/s6p/65278973

Otherwise East Molsely or Hampton.

mishfish I'm in Norwich IMO, it's the perfect city. Everything is walkable, there are great schools, it's far enough away from anywhere else to have all the shops & amenities you'd want, it has a really vibrant independent streak and thriving arts & culture scene, there are parks EVERYWHERE (seriously, I have at least four within ten minutes walk of my house), you can get to the fairly deserted coastline within 20 minutes. People are really friendly, and although it is small, it is an absolute gem.

I honestly couldn't live anywhere else. It's just such an easy city to live in - it's often called 'the graveyard of ambition' because people move here for their job and then can't face being promoted elsewhere

Good God that Cardiff house is hideous. Must be owned by a Welsh footballer.