Can someone give me a wake up call?

[missladybird]

I'm 27 and a single parent to dd(3). I don't smoke or drink alcohol but I massively binge on anything sweet. I'm miserable, disgusting and have zero energy. Am I heading for an early grave if I continue with this horrendous diet? For example, I'll eat a 'normal breakfast - usually porridge with bananas and almonds. Then I won't have another meal for the rest of the day.

Today I've eaten a 6 pack of cherry bakewells, 2 ice lollies and 3 kitkats. I'll probably binge again later when dd goes to bed too. I can't stop.

In the past I had an eating disorder where I was petrified of eating and ended up in hospital. Now I've gone the other way.

What do I do?

Thank you for the book recommendations, I've ordered a couple as an early Christmas present to myself.

Today I've done much better. I had my usual porridge and banana for breakfast, kiwi fruit for a mid-morning snack, and baked beans on wholemeal toast for lunch. Plus lots of water. I feel much better than I did yesterday! I've been here before though and soon returned to bingeing.

I need to look after myself. The thought of dying young and leaving dd is terrifying, and she sees me eating in the kitchen when I try to hide it from her. I feel so ashamed.

Literally take it meal by meal. And feel proud of yourself for the good ones, and don't beat yourself up for the bad ones. Aim to be good 80% of the time, that helps me loads.