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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Advent calendar for a birthday- unreasonable present?

56 replies

OnceUponACock · 20/11/2017 10:59

Is it unreasonable to buy a £20 advent calendar (a toy one, not a food one) for a 5-year old nephrew's late-November birthday?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 20/11/2017 11:01

It's not that great as you can't get use of the toys until Christmas

Frege · 20/11/2017 11:01

I'd run it by his parents first. It's a nice idea but some people like their child only to have one advent calendar (esp if religious) and they may already have bought one.

iveburntthetoast · 20/11/2017 11:02

Yes it is unreasonable, especially if he would normally get one anyway. My birthday is mid-December and I hated the fact it got lost in the run-up to Christmas. People writing ‘and happy birthday’ in Christmas cards and joint birthday/Christmas presents.

Shadow666 · 20/11/2017 11:03

I think it's a bit weird. I think it would be better to just buy him a toy.

MillicentFawcett · 20/11/2017 11:05

Yes of course. Advent calendars are for Xmas. Just buy him a present!

NannyR · 20/11/2017 11:05

Yabu - it's bad enough having a birthday close to christmas without receiving Christmas related presents. Would you have bought him an advent calendar if his birthday was in August?

LifeLaundry · 20/11/2017 11:14

I dont know. My daughters 19 and has a late November birthday. For the last few years shes wanted a beauty advent caledar for her birthday. The only reason she hasnt been given one is because she has a 16 and a half year old sister who would be hideously jealous (not dd1s fault, but honestly not worth the battle ). I was hoping to be able to afford to treat them both this year, but Ive just had to replace the boiler, which took all my savings. Next year I will though.

I’m disagreeing with everyone else and saying I think its a nice present, if its a toy he’s into (lego or whatever). The calendars are expensive for parents to buy just before Christmas; he’ll be getting plenty of other presents, with a load more to come in a month.

BinkyandBunty · 20/11/2017 11:20

Another Sagittarius chiming in to say no! Birthdays and Christmases should be separate unless the birthday person specifically asks for a combined gift.

BinkyandBunty · 20/11/2017 11:21

Re-read your question and I mean no, don't buy it!

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 20/11/2017 11:27

I bought my sister a beautiful wooden advent calendar a few years back, for an early November birthday. Since then, I've taken it back and filled it up for her each year, as a gift from the kids. She loves it. I buy her a 'proper" present from myself though.
I'd buy it if you think the child would enjoy it.

OnceUponACock · 20/11/2017 11:27

Okay, thanks everyone Smile

OP posts:
acquiescence · 20/11/2017 11:29

I think it would be a lovely present, assuming the parents wouldn't normally buy an expensive calendar anyway.

Yukbuck · 20/11/2017 11:33

Early December birthday here! I actually loved the pre Christmas birthday. It makes this time of year really special..as a child I occasionally got combined gifts and never minded. It's not like you're buying him a chocolate one.

TrojansAreSmegheads · 20/11/2017 11:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 20/11/2017 11:39

No, don't. I still remember getting an Easter egg for a birthday present when I was around 4 or 5. And my birthday is in February Confused

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 20/11/2017 11:40

On the plus side, I usually got loads of discounted annuals as well!

flissfloss65 · 20/11/2017 11:42

I have a birthday in December and feel by buying an advent Calander you have mixed birthday with Christmas.

I'd buy something totally inconnected to Christmas.

pomegranita · 20/11/2017 11:46

I think it’s a great present providing the birthday is around the last week of Nov, so you don’t have to put it away before it can be used. It’s Christmassy, but not a Christmas present in the sense that the child will be missing out on a present on Christmas Day. The Playmobil ones are favourites of mine.

ArtfulPuss · 20/11/2017 11:49

DS2 just had a birthday and I bought a Lego Star Wars advent calendar for DD to give him. He was absolutely delighted with it! We don't buy advent calendars otherwise (have a reusable home-made one + an advent candle) so it was a real treat, and he's counting the days until he can start opening it. So it's a yes from me in principle, BUT I'd have been annoyed if someone else had bought him one without checking with me first!

TheHodgeHeg · 20/11/2017 11:51

I think it's a nice present as well although a five year old may prefer just a toy that he could play with immediately? I guess it depends on the child.

I often get my mum a nice advent calendar for her November birthday. She seems to like it.

OnceUponACock · 20/11/2017 11:57

Thanks everyone. It's an awkward one because the boy in question is DH's brother's child and DH and his brother don't speak so it's not easy for us to check with the parents.

Because DH and his brother don't speak, we also don't really know the boy so while I get the comments "it depends on the child", we really have no idea.

OP posts:
Shadow666 · 20/11/2017 12:10

I'd just send a Toys R Us voucher for 20 pounds then. Better not to overthink these things.

NannyR · 20/11/2017 12:11

A voucher sounds ideal, given the circumstances.

OnceUponACock · 20/11/2017 12:13

We do normally send vouchers but MIL mentioned that he liked Lego stuff and I loved the advent calendar when I saw it. I thought it might be something a bit different.

OP posts:
Shadow666 · 20/11/2017 12:20

It's kind of weird to send a present to your nephew when you don't speak to his parents. Can't you just get his mum's number off MIL and text her to ask? Or tell MIL what you were thinking of getting and check it's ok? They might have bought the same calendar.