AIBU to apologise to Mumsnetters (Trigger warning self-injury references)

[spottedcowreturns]

A week or so ago I was in a bad place with some struggles I have been having with my mental and emotional health. I am being treated for several issues with my mind and physical health and a week or so ago I was battling urges to hurt myself and I did not want to call Crisis Team. I tried to do some distraction techniques that I learned when I was last in therapy. I went on mumsnet AIBU to take my mind off my troubles.

I am very obsessive and tend to go over events on my mind and feel guilt and self doubt over things I have done in the past. I posted in AIBU about a situation on public transport where I think I made a mistake regarding leaving my bag on the priority seat by mistake - (can't find the thread on here now) Anyway I had posted explaining my MH makes it difficult to make myself understood and I have another as yet not formally diagnosed condition which may or may not be mild ASD.

Anyway, the thread got very heated and I did not leave the thread as I should have because I think I was using the nasty comments I was getting from a couple of people as a way to hurt myself. So I stupidly stayed and let the comments escalate. Well I stupidly said how I felt like hurting myself and that I was feeling vulnerable only to be accused of faking the self harm fro attention. A couple of people were very kind and wisely advised me to get off the thread and get help. I deleted my account shortly afterwards. Did try setting up another one by the name of PolkaDott30 the next day and tried to explain I wasn't being goady and it was moved to MH forum on MN which I found helpful to post in.

My CPN thinks I shoudl not be on MN so I let that account go also. Today I was lurking on MN and felt I should start again and apologise in AIBU. I guess my meltdown must have upset some people and I want to say that I am sorry.

I know setting up a new account may not be MN legal so I want to apologise for that too. I just wanted to explain.

Thanks to those who helped me ColinCreevy and apologies to teh rest of you on here it upset especially Nikephorus JonSnowsWife NotReallyArsed sirzy and Maisypops IamGreyhoundHearmeroar and anyone else.

Genuinely quite brave of you to come back. Impressive, really.

Sorry to hear you’re struggling and hope you are getting the help you need.

I think most of us can forgive someone in a bad place!

Mind yourself. X

(But if your CPN feels it is bad for you might be best to take a break? You’re more than welcome, obviously, as long as it’s good for you.)

Thank you TheCatofAthenry Yeah, I probably will deregister soon. I think there is a lot of good on MN but I have to consider whether it worth it for my health tbh when I could end up using it for bad or becoming triggered.

My best bit of advice is at all times put your health first even when your thoughts are telling you different! So if your cpn thinks your not looking after yourself by being on here and you have realised your using it to punish yourself then maybe you should have a wee break.

Your obviously not very well at the moment so don't beat yourself up.

99.9% of people who saw your thread including me until you new thread today will have forgotten all about it by now so you should too.

Feel better soon

Ah OP! You r just like me! ... apologise for everything. You don't need to. :) start to like yourself :) forgive yourself :) accept yourself for who you are :) We all do random silly things! So if you do something like that, just put it down to - 'doh, never mind!!!' Try and focus on your positives. Allow yourself to stop analysisjg and worrying!

Life is too short to stress about the details. At the end of the day we r just tiny ants in a massively universe. No one will care in 50 years time what you did today or yesterday etc... focus your mind on the people you love and enjoying the time we have on this precious Earth.

Listen to your CPN and go and do something else. Honestly.

Also AIBU is really harsh and downright cruel at times so it's definitely not the forum to be big you're feeling fragile.

So listen to your CPN and maybe discuss finding some gentler forums if you agree it'll help