Relocating with children

[Kellyfgp]

Has anyone been to court to be able to relocate with their children? How did it work what is the likely outcome if I was to do this?
I've been separated from my children's father for 3 years we've never been to court over access he just has them on a Saturday 12-6 I continued to stay in this area although this is not where I am from so have no family or anything here so I'm not happy
Me and their father do not have a good relationship (hes very verbally abusive) can sometimes get slightly physical on his behalf which is obviously distressing for my children as they are not use to seeing this kind of behaviour we agree that all communication goes through his mum who I have a good relationship with (he doesn't) and no face to face contact between me and the father is necessary as causes me great upset... he sticks to this when it suits him
My fiance has relocated to scotland with work and me and the children are wanting to relocate with him. Financially we will be better off and mentally I believe I would be too which in turn means a better life for my children. I in no way want to stop or cause a barrier between my children and their father. ( he currently has no contact with them other than his few hours on aSaturday.dueto his inappropriate behaviour I would be happy to put forward contact of every 3 weeks for a weekend half of the summer holidays and half of every half term for him to have them.
Does anybody know exactly what I need to do in order to put these plans forward to him?
Tia

I just don't think he's going to agree, because it will completely disrupt his life. Now he has his DC living locally and he sees them for 6 hours every Sat. He can have a lie in, he doesn't have to have them overnight, he doesn't have to drive far, etc. Suits him very nicely.

OP is proposing that in future he will have to drive a 6-hour round trip to collect his DC and then the same again two days later to deliver them back. This will involve a lot of money for petrol/diesel, as well as six hours out of his day AND he'll then have the DC for the whole weekend/half of half-term/half the holidays. He's never, as far as we know, expressed any desire to have them for this long.

Plus, how are the logistics going to work? Will you set off with them after school on a Fri night and drive 3 hours south, meet him at a service station, then both head back off with them? If so, that means them arriving at his at around 10pm on Fri night, taking into account the stop/handover and any loo breaks. Or perhaps you'll get up early on Sat, expecting him to do the same? That means six hours of driving on both of your Saturdays and Sundays on his weekends and all that times spent travelling the motorways of Britain for your DC. It sounds shit to me and I can't see any way he's going to agree to that.

I also feel that your not thinking of your DC in all this. You mention YOUR happiness and presumably that is tied up in being with your fiance, but what about your DC's happiness? I can't see that being enhanced by your plan.

You have said that you have no concerns what so ever for your children while they are in their dad's care. That's a good thing. In my opinion the children should be doing overnights with their dad (I'm interested to know what's deemed 'unsuitable' about his accommodation and whether or not he has ever attempted to seek overnight contact. It's pretty usual for kids to have full weekends with both parents when they have separated. Moving kids that distance from their established home is a big deal even when parents are together, it's a really big deal if it means they lose out on a meaningful relationship with one of their parents.
I don't know if you can (or can't move). I do know that in all of this the children should be at the heart of the decision - childhood is short and the decisions made by parents during childhood can make an impact that lasts a lifetime. Is your relationship with your partner more important than you children's relationship with their dad?

So a six hour drive away, would be the children spending 3 hours in your car, then a further 3 to get from halfway to their Dads house on a Friday night. A whole day with him Saturday and Saturday night then 3 hours to halfway mark and 3 hours back home.

That's assuming there's no traffic, accidents or snow delayed weather.

It's unfair, I think, on the children. Or are you hoping by moving, visits with naturally fade out because of distance?

Has your fiance already moved and started his new job? Is it possible he could rent a room Monday to Thursday and drive home on a Friday and either straight to work on a Monday or back to the rental on a Sunday night?

I’ve joy read the whole thread but if you are moving your dc from England it Wales to Scotland your ex can apply for a prohibitive steps order as you would be removing them from the jurisdiction of English and Welsh courts.
My ex did this and I had to go to court and prove that the quality of life for my dc would improve. I also had to agree court agreed contact but ch was the one to break it. My dc were also interviewed by cafcas at XHs I distended. They clearly stated that they loved visiting their dgp in Scotland and would be happy to live there.
My solicitor also told the magistrates that as an EU citizen I had the right to live anywhere within the EU.
So you can do it it will cost you more money if your ex gets arsey but it is possible.

My DC are 13,11 and 3. Last year I just relocated 200miles. Didn't tell my abusive ex so he couldn't stop me!

My DC are 13,11 and 3. Last year I just relocated 200miles. Didn't tell my abusive ex so he couldn't stop me! this is terrible advice, abusive or not the law is clear and advising the OP to just go without due process could end up a very costly mistake for her to make

I personally don’t think it’s right for you to move to Scotland and as long as he is non abusive to the children, I don’t understand why he can’t see them more if he’s able to? You and him have equal rights regarding your children. Would you be ok with him moving up to Scotland with your children?

Sorry if this is not the answer you were looking for but it’s easier to get carried away and be ‘yes men’ on here. Far too often I hear of father’s access being made difficult as if they’re not an equal parent to their own children. I wish your children a happy life and I bet if they had their say it would be close to their father.

So what happens if you don’t / can’t move? Will your fiancé come back?

I think it’s very unfair to make your children go through a 6 hour car journey - twice - every three weeks.

A close friend of mine has just relocated to Australia with her kids. She had to prove the kids would have a better quality of life and the kids were interviewed too after her ex got a prohibitive steps order. It cost her a fair bit of money but she won in the end. The kids come back twice a year for 3 weeks.

I think 6 hours twice every three weeks sounds like a lot of travelling for kids. You may want to consider making contact a bit less frequent. Discuss with your ex's mum or wait and see what the court decides.

A close friend of mine has just relocated to Australia with her kids. She had to prove the kids would have a better quality of life and the kids were interviewed too

How old are your kids OP and what do you think they would say if they were interviewed? Are they happy to move a 6-hour drive away from their dad and their schools, friends, etc?

Re: Australia - a school friend of mine's mum moved to Australia to be with her new partner. She applied to the court to take the two DC with her, but the XH fought it and won. He got custody of the DC and she moved to Australia without them. The DM doesn't always get custody - and that was back in the 1980s when the DM usually did. Nowadays judges look much more at the issue of dads being sidelined.