To still find it hard to walk away

[Orangeseed]

I know I should, I know I can but still find it hard.

Been with oh 13 years, married 5, 3 children 6, 4 and 3mths, I know I need to leave.
He's aggressive to me on a daily basis, verbally, nasty looks, banging things around etc, he's put his fist up to me but yet to actually hit me.
From the start he stopped me seeing friends, I now have none left.
I've not been allowed to progress in my career because he won't support me with the DC.
I haven't been allowed out at night since we met, he now stops me going out in the day too, e.g to the gym, hairdressers etc.
I'm not allowed to watch TV.
He even tried to stop me buying toys for Xmas for the DC.
I could go on and on.
I know I sound pathetic, I know I sound like a victim, I want out! Please someone help

You need to make a plan. Contact women’s aid. Leaving is daunting and you. Am be put off thinking about next week or next month etc. Your focus is on the next 24 hours and the steps you can take to improve them. Can you contact some family? Start building your team, speak to your HV and DR. Get evidence of his treatment if you can (this will help ensure supervised visitation with the D.C, if necessary). 24hours... baby steps. I’m rooting for you x

but yet to actually hit me What he is already doing to you is bad enough. I was a DC of a marriage like this one. I still struggle and so does my poor mum- she could not bring herself to leave either.

[ Orangeseed You and your DCs are worth more than this

Chocolatecake......did she ever leave? I'm trying to be strong, I want out for the sake of my children, I don't want them thinking this is normal anymore

I feel like a shell of a person

You CAN do this.

You HAVE to do it.

If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your children. We can be far stronger & more determined for them than ourselves can’t we. You don’t want them growing up in that environment. You don’t want them replicating this in their own lives.

Be strong, SHOW your kids that when someone treats you badly, you LEAVE.

Do you have any family that would store your most precious bits & pieces for you if you go to a refuge? (I presume you don’t have Family you can stay with. If you do, even better).

Get ALL the paperwork you can before you leave. ALL the important things of yours & the children’s.

It’s daunting, but you CAN do it 🌷

It’s not at all surprising you feel like a shell of a person, but you know what is surprising? How quickly you’ll start to feel better once you actually leave. The dread of doing it is far worse than actually doing it. The sooner you leave, the sooner you can redefine your family & rebuild yourself.

You can contact women’s aid... or do you have any family you can go to? You need to be done with him ASAP, I can’t imagine how hard this must be but you’re a woman, you have strength you don’t even know about. Good luck xx

Go. Leave. Please.

My father was like this. Luckly he got someone else pregnant and left us..
Dont think my mum would of left him

My first childhood memory is of him being a bastard

Please leave. As soon as you can.
For your children and you.
Dont think i will do it next week.
Do it the very next time he is out of the house

How are you?