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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Depression question

24 replies

passmetheketchup · 18/11/2017 18:28

For those who have suffered depression...How did you feel at your lowest? What did you do to address it?

OP posts:
CrazyDuchess · 18/11/2017 18:33

Suicidal.....

Antidepressants, CBT and determination not to leave my daughter alone

passmetheketchup · 18/11/2017 18:38

@CrazyDuchess Flowers I hope you’re getting better now? Do you mind me asking- was there a trigger for your depression? Please don’t feel obliged to answer

OP posts:
Glumglowworm · 18/11/2017 19:11

Same, at my lowest I was suicidal. I couldn't work, couldn't do anything, not read a book or watch anything more complicated than trashy tv, couldn't knit.

I got through it thanks to a great GP, finally getting on the right medication, and once that kicked in I had CBT (done privately through my employer, who also paid for taxis to get me there and back.

I'm now well and back at work full time. I prioritise my downtime to decompress, I still do things but I try to avoid two busy weekends in a row.

I've had depression since my teens, been on ADs for a decade. There's not really anything that triggers the descent, it just comes round like a cycle

MattBerrysHair · 18/11/2017 19:24

Suicidal too. Unfortunately, when I was a teenager I tried to address it by attempting suicide. Fortunately I failed. I've been suicidal again at times during the last few years and I've addressed it by going to A&E and asking for the crisis team. They referred me for a mental health assessment and I'm now under the care of the CMHT. I have a key worker who I see fortnightly and I'm on medication. I feel so much better now.

Wolfiefan · 18/11/2017 19:28

Like I was wading through face high mud. That I had nothing to look forward to and it really wasn't worth getting out of bed. Like I couldn't face anything. Not having a shower or opening post. Like crying. But numb.
It was grim. No. Not a response to any one event. Slowly building. Not helped by work.
Pills and CBT. Much better.

Catinabeanbag · 19/11/2017 11:29

Saw this yesterday and wanted to reply....
Like some of the others have said, suicidal at my lowest. Used to do some 'risky behaviours' (I believe the phrase is). Couldn't concentrate, short term memory was shot, sleep all over the place. Can't actually remember several months of my life beyond a image or two.
What helped was medication initially, and then two and half years of psychotherapy. That was back in 2011-13 and I know I was bloody lucky to get it on the NHS. I doubt I would these days, but it probably saved my life. Hardest thing I've ever done though, but the most worthwhile.
Also found that getting outdoors helped- I've always liked photography so used to go out for a walk and take my camera with me; gave me something to focus on. Gardening helped as well.
I think you need to find the small things that help- it's not always the big stuff that matters or makes us feel alive again. I found it was daft things like a nice cup of tea, or a sunny day, or something stupid the cat did; little things like that that make sticking around more appealing.

Catinabeanbag · 19/11/2017 11:32

*an image
And when I say 'you need to find' at the end, I mean the generic 'you' - wasn't getting personal there.

ChocoLeibnizAddict · 19/11/2017 11:35

My brother committed suicide last year and although I was emotionally numb, I was getting ready to end it all myself.

I've had depression since mid teens but this grief has triggered a deep depression that I can't seem to escape.

I was referred to a PTSD group by my university mentor and put on a waiting list that I'm still on btw, but I rarely attended as my situation requires specialist help.

I'm doing OK now, not suicidal. Knowing that DD won't have me around if I choose to end my life does stop me. She won't have anyone otherwise, shell end up in care.

CrazyDuchess · 19/11/2017 20:27

My trigger... a bad relationship, poor family relationships.... broke... single mum... chronic illness... crap childhood.... difficult friendships....

I don't know which was the actual trigger or what was because of my depression....

I am okay now... I have learnt to live with depression, I am not sure it will ever go away for me but at this moment in time I can live with it

CrazyDuchess · 19/11/2017 20:28

I hope you are okay Flowers

kali110 · 19/11/2017 20:41

Medication.

kali110 · 19/11/2017 20:41

Cbt, therapy was of no use.

bertsdinner · 19/11/2017 20:49

Ive ever actually felt suicidal, but at times I haven't wanted to get out of bed. Ive felt negative, angry, no energy. Its hard to explain, I have felt like I cannot be bothered with anybody or anything and just want to lie in bed all day.
I can usually force myself up and out, but at it's worse its been a real struggle.

bertsdinner · 19/11/2017 20:51

To add, I deal with it by just putting up with it. Usually it lessens. CBT hasn't really helped and I dont like the idea of anti depressants.

ConfusedLivingDoll · 19/11/2017 21:05

Like I'm Jabba the Hutt with led weights on my ankles and a constant grey cloud over my head. I feel disgusting, ugly, fat, lazy stupid and so tired. Can't face going outside the house unless I have to. Reliant on caffeine and the mood enhancing properties of codeine, which fends off the headaches too. Borderline suicidal (anything small happens and I start thinking about it) and reckless with my health.

This is a nearly life long condition, which has come up every year or so. I get out of it by forcing myself to do things, go out, diet and eventually feel better. CBT does nothing for me. I know my thinking is bad, but it's what I sincerely believe and it's very ingrained. SSRIs have done nothing, either - have been in three different varieties.Have had psychotherapy too, which has helped a bit. Have come to the conclusion that I have complex PTSD from my youth, so have booked another therapist and am starting tomorrow. Can't afford it very well, but have to, since starting new job soon too.

No answers, but it's exhausting. I know it is bad for DS, who knows all's not well with me (despite me boing my best to try hide it) and DP, who feels anxious and angry at my lethargic state. This weekend, like most of them, I've not left the house or gotten dressed up. Have showered, though, and tidied up etc. so he doesn't get upset with me. Feel so guilty about it, but hate myself like this and it's so hard to shift a gear when all you want is just to sleep and eat.

user1497997754 · 19/11/2017 21:17

Best thing I did was get a dog....makes me go out and face the world...although I have to buck up the courage to do so....can't deal with people, no patience, won't queue in shops, avoid driving if their is roadworks, prefer my own company, hate socialising, don't like people to be in close proximity of me, no real interest in food eat because I have to, don't like dressing up, don't like putting make up on, don't like being on the telephone, very short tempered, analyse everything, always think the worst, very negative, basically no real interest in life.

Mittens1969 · 19/11/2017 21:28

Trigger Warning

I’ve suffered from depression and complex PTSD on and off following childhood SA. At my worst I’ve felt suicidal, thinking those close to me would be better off without me. I would never have acted on it, though, as I know there are people who would be hurt, especially my 2 DDs now.

I’m on sertraline and I’ve had therapy at various times, including EMDR, which has helped.

Notevilstepmother · 19/11/2017 21:29

I was physically unable to leave my bed except to go to the loo and for the dog to go to the loo (which was when I knew I wouldn’t see anyone.). I was in bed for several weeks I think.

Another time I have a rather vague memory of taking myself off to A and E as it seemed a sensible thing to do as I wanted to be dead. They were very kind and phoned my husband to take me home.

I’m much better these days. Anti depressants, finding out why I felt like I did, various therapies and getting my diagnosis (autistic spectrum) all helped. Also the black dog book.

It can happen to the best of us and often it’s worse for the strongest. Keep on fighting it all you amazing people.

Notevilstepmother · 19/11/2017 21:32

In terms of trigger it was a combination of divorce and leaving a job I loved.

One of the things that really helped once I was a little the most was making myself go somewhere every day. I wouldn’t do much, but I would leave the house and go somewhere and maybe have a cup of tea, or take the dog somewhere.

WildBluebelles · 19/11/2017 21:34

Constantly worried and with a permanent sense of dread, a secure knowledge that it would never be OK. Thinking about suicide was a form of relief for me- I reasoned that it would be okay if the bad feelings didn't stop because I could kill myself. Also felt that some of the pressure to be normal was off because there wasn't much point if I was going to kill myself anyway.

I now feel much better. I do occasionally still have suicidal ideations- I know I won't do anything but it's almost like a comfort so that I don't get stressed out about how much of a shitstorm I think my life is.

If you met me in real life, you would think I was entirely normal and very calm btw... Grin

Medicaltextbook · 19/11/2017 21:49

I was always a glass half empty person. My trigger to develop was brain surgery (not sure if it was related to the brain or could have just been stress of having any surgery). I also went to work too quickly after the surgery. At my worst suicidal. Still need anti depressants- as long as I take them I'm stable. I've had CBT. If I forget (not often I don't deliberately miss) then I will become very low/suicidal - it's definitely a physical thing as it continues until it kicks in.

TooManyPaws · 19/11/2017 21:58

I've accepted that I'll always be on antidepressants as I've been on them since early 20s and need the dosage tweaked occasionally; I'm on Venlafaxine now which also helps with my anxiety. I found CBT absolutely useless but counselling helped and opened my eyes to a lifetime of emotional abuse. I've never been suicidal but have often wanted to go into a coma and wake up when everything is better. I now have a permanent employment contract and finally a supportive management. What kept me going was my dogs and cats who surrounded me with love and didn't judge. I've also come to terms with the fact that I'm an introvert who needs alone time and am probably dispraxic. However, I do have friends who understand this and they are my family.

ProudAS · 19/11/2017 22:08

Worst I've ever felt (except maybe an autistic meltdown).

It invades the mind, I struggled to find the mental energy to get off the sofa. Then I comfort ate and the cycle continued because I'd put on weight and not eaten properly.

Depression can be pushed into submission but it's an uphill struggle and you won't be winning all the time.

Tobythecat · 19/11/2017 23:03

A constant, deep pervading feeling of dread and despair.

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