Is this bad form?

[FriendlyFiyahsss]

Best friend is having a bday thing today and I am preparing for v important exams. I got up early to make breakfast and spoil her/give her presents; have said I will come along for one drink later (she is going out) but will make it up to her another time - also taking her out as her present in a few weeks to make it up to her.

I am so busy and stressed though that not sure I will manage to make it out for a drink. I think she will understand and will absolutely make it up to her once done. She is with others so will be fine. Bad form?

I would feel rude bailing if I’d already said I was going. Only you know your relationship with her though and if she will mind or not.

I wouldn’t expect someone to pay much attention to my birthday if they were mid-exams and sounds like you’ve made a lot of effort already

Not mid - they are in 2 weeks but very demanding and I am v stressed. I think she will understand but still feel bad - I have done as much as I can though and will spoil her after exams too

Only the fact you've already said you'll go would make it bad form. The main risk is that if others also bail, her evening out could fall flat. I'd hope if she is your best friend, she would understand; but personally I would do all I could at least to 'show my face' even if I only stayed for 20 minutes.

You may find that a break will do you good, so go for one drink and give yourself an hour or two away from studying.

It will help revive you (go for a non-alcoholic drink) and get some fresh air.

That way you don’t bail on your friend and you help keep yourself focused.

Unless you’re the type of person who can’t say no and one drink turns into an all night bender - then I’d bail and don’t tempt yourself

I know for a fact that there are lots of others already there with her and they are all merrily getting drunk together if that changes anything? So she is being well taken care of!

I don't understand this "make it up to her" palaver.
The fact is you have important exams to prepare for and it happens to be her birthday. It's not the only birthday she will ever have and presuming you are both adults you are both capable of planning accordingly. I wouldn't consider it 'bad form' - I'd think any sensible person would understand that people have lives and responsibilities.