AIBU to ask what cheeky things you've seen people to do in order to not have to pay

[IronFists234]

First off, this is supposed to be a cheeky fucker thread. This is not a thread laughing at people making attempts to cut back to save money. Just want to make that clear!

This thread is inspired by my friend I went swimming with yesterday. Our local pool does wrist bands that indicate what time you entered, so yellow for 2-4, blue for 4-6, etc...

My friend was very adamant we HAD to go swimming at the 4-6 slot. I didn't question it but found her insistence odd.

It turns out she had blue bands from her last swimming session! She had just kept them and not handed them in

When we entered the pool she shouted "oh don't worry I already have the bands" to the pool employees. So not an outright lie but they assumed she paid!

It's a busy pool as well, so I doubt they notice she hasn't paid

I asked her why she did it and she said she'd paid once and if she could get in for free by keeping the bands, why pay?

any other stories like this?

My father also once said he went to a barbecue where the owner requested everyone bring a 'portion of coal' but I still think that was a joke (or hope)

My dm is a massive cheeky fucker. There are some botanical gardens near us which she refuses to buy membership for. She takes great delight in walking backwards through the exit instead. She does it in front of loads of people but I think people are just too confused to ever confront her. She also always fills her bag with cuttings. She thinks she’s entitled to do this as she buys lunch in the cafe there.

I used to work in a shop where you paid for fruit and veg by weight. People used to destalk mushrooms before bringing them to the till.

I was at an industry event recently, my bar bill for 2 nights is one drink, I know the companies with the big ego’s and budgets to match so made sure I was at the bar whenever they were buying

I once saw someone in a shop tear a barcode off of a product, put it in his pocket, and then picked up a more expensive item of the same description. I was a bit slow at cottoning on to what he was up to, but was at the self-checkout when he came along and scanned the barcode from his pocket. The till beeped as the weight was incorrect, but as the description was the same, the staff member authorised it. I was absolutely gobsmacked when I realised what he had done! I find behaviour like this absolutely disgusting, not clever at all!

Some of these are just 😮

At a local restaurant many years ago, a couple ordered A LOT of food and has the left overs packed up. When it came to paying the bill, the male kept pulling his card out of the chip and pin before the transaction had been processed, did this 3 times and then refused to put it in again saying he has probably already been charged 3 times and he has no cash. Kicked up a fuss and they ended up getting the meal for free.

Similarly a house being totally cleared out while the owners were on holiday, by a fake removal firm. We all saw them, just assumed they were moving

I knew someone this happened to, except it happened on the school run. In the space of about 20 mins a van turned up at their house and was filled with possessions by two guys in high vis jackets. Neighbours thought it odd they were moving without telling anyone untill the person i knew came back from picking up their kids and found they'd been burgled.

I have a friend who would say she didn’t want to pay for a meal because she hadn’t enjoyed it. But would finish it. She did it a couple of times before I told her not to eat food she didn’t like. She had the good grace to look embarrassed and has never done it again. I brought it up about a year ago and she was mortified. But still, she did t at the time.

The worst is when I worked at a clothes shop. We had a woman who would turn up every week trying to return clothes she’d CLEARLY worn. The management would do exchanges for her and if they didn’t she would scream bloody murder about how we were discriminating her because she was disabled. Was glad to be out of there.

When she finally realised that her foul mouth and threats weren’t going to get her what she wanted, she stood in the middle of the shop and pissed all over the floor!

winky you win the thread!

Another one here who uses to work in public sector where you’d easily get a free lunch if you had a meeting. A lot of people basically ate for free for heads. Come the** credit crunch the organisation clamped down and became stricter, people were outraged! I agree that I don’t know how they weren’t embarrassed. And we are talking people on £90k+ here!

In the same place, I once was eating in Pizza Express when they did Orange Wednesdays (so you got BOGOF on all starters and mains) and the six organisation directors walked in. Salaries ranging between £140k-£250k. It was heaving, as it always was on a Wednesday and they asked for a table for six. Was told the next available table for six would be in 90 minutes. They wanted the BOGOF deal so actually waited at the bar for an hour and a half.

I had (note the use of the word had) a friend who, when going out for a meal, would sit sipping a post meal coffee for around half an hour, then go to the toilets, shove her fingers down her throat, get sick all over the toilet on purpose so she could claim the food had made her ill. Often she would not only not pay for that meal, but would get invited back free or charge.

I also had a male friend at uni who would fake propose to me if we went out for dinner to get a free bottle of fizz or dessert or something. Worked really well!!

My mum is a prize cheeky fucker. She lives abroad and visits us twice a year. She often sends me links for things for Argos etc and asks if I can buy them for her and she’ll give me the money when she’s here. Not a problem. Except it’s ALWAYS the last day that I have to say “can I have the £30 for those straighteners please” and without fail she’ll say “well, I bought the coffee in Starbucks on Saturday and I brought over that jumper which was €25, but I’ll tell you what I’ll give you a fiver and we’ll call it even” she always makes out these things she adds to a bill are treats, and then feigns ignorance of “oh no I didn’t say that I was buying you the jumper” 🙄 I have learnt my lesson and now tell her I can’t pick up whatever she wants from Argos.

I have bought DD beauty and the beast tea trolley for Xmas, it was going really cheap (£32 down from £50) and told Mum in a ‘that’s definitely he last present I’m buying her it’s more than I planned’ way and she said “well I haven’t got her anything yet how about when I’m there next week I’ll give you the money for it”. I’m going to ask for the £32 upfront and watch her face drop.

In pizza express a few weeks ago, very quiet as during the day. Had lovely lunch with one of my young dc and a friend of mine. Lady on table behind us with a youngish child and a toddler. She came in just after we were seated. Kids very nicely dressed.

We had a lovely meal and just near the end vaguely heard a semi raised voice from her table “well this meal has glass in it so I’m not paying for it”, before said woman marched confidently past our table and out the door with kids in tow.

The waitress was very red and flustered and went to (presumably the manager) at the back of the restaurant then spoke to kitchen. As we paid our bill I mentioned the lady and seemingly she had found a large chunky bit of glass (like the bottom of a bottle) in her child’s pasta meal (that was mostly eaten). The chef then explained to us that it is their company policy not to use any glass in any of their kitchens at all so was 100% certain that the glass had not come from them.

The thing that sealed the CF-ness of it for me was the woman’s attitude, she didn’t hesitate or wait for a response from the waitress, she simply said she wasn’t paying for it as she walked out the door, she knew if she stayed to discuss anything she’d be rumbled! I was gobsmacked!

she would keep all the cash and pay the exact total, no tip for the staff.

Goodness, we used to go out for lunch regularly at work, til we were joined by someone who did this. It was years ago now, still makes me cross. I can't quite imagine which was worse, we both met the same person, or there are more than one of 'em.

Had a family meal at a pub where they gave you a small wooden paddle with a number on when you ordered food, this was put in a pot on the table. When the bill arrived there was a bottle of white wine on there which we hadn't ordered, pair of CFs nearby had stuck it on our bill. They didn't get away with it though.

winky you win the thread!

I also won the game of rock, paper, scissors which meant that I didn’t have to be the one to clean it up. Thank goodness.

A CF thread isn’t a proper CF thread without expat giving is a good talking to about not being pushovers just think WWEPD (what would ex pat do)

Similarly a house being totally cleared out while the owners were on holiday, by a fake removal firm. We all saw them, just assumed they were moving

I knew someone this happened to, except it happened on the school run. In the space of about 20 mins a van turned up at their house and was filled with possessions by two guys in high vis jackets. Neighbours thought it odd they were moving without telling anyone untill the person i knew came back from picking up their kids and found they'd been burgled.

Isn't that kind of how they got away with the Hatton Garden jewellery robbery?

In the same vein to chickenlesshead's CF hoteliers story; someone I know cancelled their wedding at very short notice (so short that some of the evening guests still turned up) after discovering his fiance was seeing her previous bf. He informed the hotel who offered their condolences and confirmed that unfortunately they wouldn't get their several thousand pound deposit back due to it being only days away. He accepted that of course. He asked if they had ordered the wine yet (intending to ask for the money back for that if not), they confirmed they had, so he said he would come and collect it the following day. Cue much blustering and 'but it's hotel policy not to offer refunds'. He said he didn't want a refund, just the wine he had paid for. He got his wine. The hotel had the audacity to try to profit out of the poor guy's misfortune by effectively stealing the wine from him. His work never held their annual Christmas do there again

Have see loads but one sticks in my mind. I met my friend for lunch at Wetherspoons, then we sat and had a few drinks. It got busier as it was the Saturday before Christmas as few years ago. A group of well dressed early 30’s women came in and eventually got a table. One of the women picked up the Half used bottle of mayonnaise from the condiments basket on the table and stuck it in her handbag. How bad must things be to swipe a half used bottle of mayo??

I had to stop my inlaws from giving my children pick-n-mix to eat in store before they were paid for. I was actually really mad that they tried to encourage my children to essentially, steal. It's astounding that these thieving chavs are even slightly related to DH who is honest to a fault.

I use a wheelchair. A lot of places will let someone go in free as my carer.

My friend had a relative in a musical. It was in the local theatre, am dram but billed as being at the more professional end iyswim. About £15 for a ticket. I’d seen that musical before as a proper show and wasn’t bothered to see it again but had nothing else to do so figured why not. This was all very last minute as friend hadn’t known about the show and it was ending.

“Oh good, I thought about going by myself as it’s so short notice but then remembered I could go for free if you came.”

I did go but I point out she was rude and made her pay half the cost of my ticket.

@CheekyFuckersAreEntertaining My in-laws are CFs too, while DH is totally honest. They LOVE getting into things without paying. Often they just walk through the entrance, looking confident. Other times they climb over a fence or at least lift the kids over so they don't have to pay for them.

The one that stunned me recently was when they sneaked into the school fair without paying. It was only about £2 each, and the money was going to their own children's school. They just seem to think they're so clever for getting away with it.

They get it from FIL, though, who does the same. He also steals things like milk jugs from cafes. He'd never steal from a shop, though, as that's dishonest, apparently...

My great aunt is a proper money-saver, though. She boils water for tea in a mug in the microwave because she thinks it's cheaper (as she can measure the exact amount). She uses newspaper instead of toilet roll. She reuses things to within an inch of their lives. She has £1000s in the bank, though, and is very generous if you help her out - I recently got her some milk when I was going to the shop anyway, and she gave me £20!

Anyone who destalks mushrooms is just wasting good mushroom! Unless they’re the fancy kind.

MeMineUs - i was behind someone at a pub a few weeks ago who did the same thing, I've only just clicked what he was up to. He said that he was putting the right pin in and the machine had blocked his card. Obviously no cash, no other cards, and neither did anyone else he was with. The young girl behind the bar didn't know what to do so had to cancel his bill.

@CherryChasingDotMuncher you should suggest DM orders Argos online for store collection and you'll collect when she sends you the email, that way she has to pay upfront. (Also, she'd have to be seriously CF to front it out with an excuse not to pay).

I saw a mum sneak her teenage daughter into the gym a while ago. It was particularly funny to watch, as they had to squish together to get into the same turn of the barrier and it was really obvious. I’d just paid at the desk to go swimming with dd and been told the barriers were already open! Was funny.

I also once saw a horrible women avoiding paying for a load of hair treatments by complaining loudly and repeatedly about what the stylist was doing. It was so obvious that she was being dishonest and I could tell what she was trying to do. The manager eventually intervened and said there would be no charge, but also told the woman never to come back! I didn’t expect that, and probably it wasn’t the best customer service, but I was actually really pleased the manager did it.

My dh’s Grandad used to send Dh and his sibling round all the lockers at the swimming pool and said they could only have a treat from the vending machine after the swim if they found a pound coin left in the lockers.

A friend of a friend’s dad used to dress his children in hoodies so he could sneak stuff into the hoods, (so he went shoplifting with his children - nice)!