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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who was U? Me or DH?

45 replies

dinnerladies11 · 17/11/2017 21:36

DH and I are partial to the odd play fight but I’ve noticed recently when I accidentally get hurt we both laugh it off. The way I see it, it wasn’t intentional so can’t get angry about it but whenever DH gets hurt it’s always a ‘you go too far’.

So tonight, he was changing and threw his pants at me. He had some coins which hit the side of my face. Completely laughed it off. He came over to check I wasn’t hurt and he accidentally poked me in the eye. Again laughing it off I vowed to get him back.

I had a small box to hand so was aiming at him. He was laughing, and acting like a goalie moving side to side. Anyway, my aim was obviously better than I thought and it smacked him straight on his head which I concede must have hurt a little. I apologised but was also laughing. He came after me and started to tickle me as revenge. I said ‘ow no that hurts now’. All this time we were both laughing and then we called a truce.

He then started to tickle me again, and to get him off me, I smacked the side of his body twice and then, I guess you could say, smacked the side of his face/head. He jumped straight off me and said I take things too far and he was shocked that I could easily smack his face.

The way I see it is; it wasn’t like I aimed and punched straight at his face. It was in reaction to being tickled. I also got hurt but laughed it off as it’s all part and parcel of play fighting.
The way he sees it is I took it too far firstly when the box hit his head but he ‘let that go’ but then again I took it too far hitting him and I can’t just punch someone in a play fight.

He stormed off, I got annoyed that he always does this when he gets hurt but when I do we just laugh it off. Huge row. Now he’s upstairs, I’m downstairs, and we’re not talking.

So who was unreasonable? Me or DH?

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 17/11/2017 22:34

*grow. Not grown.

WhatIsGoingOnNow · 17/11/2017 22:36

Umm are you guys 5???

dinnerladies11 · 17/11/2017 22:38

Thanks everyone for the ‘help’ but I’m just going to bow out of this thread now.

Also where I am from we call ‘trousers’ pants.

OP posts:
Slaylormoon · 17/11/2017 22:46

Confused maybe find a new way to spend time together op..

millsbynight · 17/11/2017 22:47
Confused

Aside from the fact that this is no way to conduct an adult relationship and I can’t imagine what it’s like to be in a relationship or marriage like this, why do you ‘always laugh it off’ when you get hurt? Why don’t you ever tell him he’s gone too far when he has hurt you?

UpLighter · 17/11/2017 23:06

We play fight, so I guess we must be stupid adults too Grin
You shouldn’t be hitting head or face.

Creambun2 · 17/11/2017 23:10

Couples who play fight should group up. How is this foreplay?

kali110 · 17/11/2017 23:13

He accidentally threw the coins and you, you accidentally threw the box but you purposely hit him.

thegoodnameshadgone · 17/11/2017 23:13

Its not foreplay it’s just a bit of fun. He just sounds like he wants to win at it and sulks when he doesn’t.

Think the op is getting a really hard time on here.

Sandsunsea · 17/11/2017 23:13

you are behaving like siblings not lovers which is a bit ew

littlepippin · 17/11/2017 23:25

I’m all for play fighting (miserable lot on here Hmm) DP and I play fight/chase each other round the house/call each other names quite often! We also are very loving, caring and close.

However if he can’t play by the ‘play fight rules’ then you shouldn’t be playing.

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried · 17/11/2017 23:29
Confused

People are weird. Repeating the same behaviour and expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity according to Einstein.

How have you not worked out that someone always gets gurt? My kids have worked that out fgs. Grow up.

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried · 17/11/2017 23:30

hurt! No idea what gurt is.

Creambun2 · 17/11/2017 23:30

littlepippin grow up, or are you both teenagers and all this relationship stuff is new?

littlepippin · 17/11/2017 23:38

Cream bun - life is too short to be serious all the time. We are in our thirties.

Haffiana · 17/11/2017 23:40

Bloody hell at all the groanups on this thread who have such narrow miserable ideas about having fun. Play fighting is ... play. Doesn't have to stop when you turn 16 or whatever age everyone gets uptight around here.

OP, speak to your DH. In all honesty I think head and face hitting seems to be something that you can easily agree to avoid.

UpLighter · 17/11/2017 23:46

When you grow up what do you do instead of messing around with the one your love? Watch tv? Read the paper?

PercySimone · 17/11/2017 23:58

You’re both grounded from anything that requires a plug, for a week. Go to bed now and go straight to sleep!

homefromworklate · 18/11/2017 00:07

I’m in a very happy content long term relationship, both in our thirties and we play fight, mess about, generally just have fun.

Sounds like you might just be taking it a bit too far and he sounds like he was probably just spoiling for an argument. But nowt wrong with some non slapping face play fighting.

Ignore the cries of “grow up”.

TwitterQueen1 · 18/11/2017 17:54

For the record, my cry of 'grow up!' wasn't actually about play-fighting itself. I understand people get up to far more interesting things in the privacy of their own bedrooms Wink. It was more to do with the "he said, he did, but I said this and he kept on and I don't like it and blah blah blah." It's the playground mentality and conversation that is so ridiculous.

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