To feel a bit miffed about this

[longestlurkerever]

This isn't a biggie but it's bugging me a bit and I could do with an honest opinion about whether AIBU.

2 friends invited me on a weekend away. 1 lives near me and the other quite far away and the venue was half way between us (90 mins on train). Although I really wanted to join them my first instinct was no because I'd miss the dc and my dh would struggle looking after them all weekend because of his health issues.

I was sad to miss out though and eventually I asked if it would be OK with them if I joined for just part of the trip (they were doing 2 nights). I said I could manage 24 hours, arriving lunchtime Sat and leaving lunchtime Sun. They said that was fine so I booked my train.

Then friend1 got upset I'd not discussed which train I was getting so we could travel together at least one way. I apologised for being thoughtless but thought I'd made it clear when I'd be travelling when I said I was coming for 24 hours- we could still travel together if that train suited her but I didn't see an issue in traveling separately (tbh 90 mins on a train with no kids sounded like bliss). Anyway, a bit of drama ensued and eventually friends decide to do a short trip too so friend1 could travel with me.

Now every time trip is mentioned it comes with a comment about how little time we'll have or how there's not time to do x,y,z. It's taken the shine off a bit tbh as I feel like they're annoyed at me. I explained why I was worried about being away and was pleased with the idea of joining them for a short time but I didn't mean to cut their trip short - I'd have happily travelled on my own. AIBU?

No I don’t think you are being unreasonable.

I find people who can’t travel on their own irritating.

To be fair it's not that she won't travel on her own, she just thought it'd be nice to travel together. Which it would be, but not to the point I want to risk dh overdoing it and paying for it all next week. I thought I'd explained how important it was for me to get back early, whether it was a rational fear or otherwise, and now feel like that was a bit dismissed, although I thought they understood at the time.

The nice idea of travelling together is rather negated by moaning about the time though.

No YANBU. If they mention it again tell them they had a chance to do x,y,z together but say it with a chuckle! The other mate is probably annoyed at the other for wanting to travel with you.

Do they have kids themselves? Do you see them often?

You're not BU but I'm just wondering if they feel that they never see you anymore and that you're not making an effort for them?

I totally get the situation with your husband's health but maybe they feel you could leave the kids with a relative seeing as it's just this once? It's hard to know without knowing a bit of background about your friendship.

I think you've been perfectly reasonable in trying to see them for a bit and you don't sound thoughtless at all. In their place, however, I might feel a bit disappointed if this trip was a one-off and I felt that you weren't so up for it.

This opinion is coming from someone who isn't a mum and always tries to adapt to my mum friends' needs, but although I'd never say it, sometimes deep down I feel a tad hurt when they stop making an effort with the friendship. That may not be your case at all! I just wanted to look at it from the other side.

They do have kids themselves and friend1 I do see regularly (in fact there's a bit of a back story in that I felt a bit abandoned by her for a while) Friend2 I don't see often but that's more circumstance than something that can be attributed to me I think. I am normally the one who suggests meeting but generally it is with our families as well. This was supposed to be a rare child free weekend and I do see the value in that and was keen to make it happen but within certain constraints