My BIL & SIL always make a point about how hard up they are and say they struggle for money. This has been going on for years. They ask DFIL & DMIL for money and regularly claim they can't afford to buy coats, shoes, school uniform etc. for their young children. I've heard them ask DMIL for money to cover the cost of a year's dance classes as they said they can't afford it. DFIL, DMIL & the rest of the family are very generous to them as a result - but do not do the same for their other kids as they don't appear to struggle as much to them.
We would offer to pay for meals if we went out with BIL & SIL, we'd be generous with their DDs when my DH & I looked after them, pay for their drinks if we all went out etc. DFIL & DMIL would do the same. SIL would complain that they can't afford to save money, and we'd offer advice and spend time on comparison sites to help reduce their bills.
OH & I got a mortgage for our first house last year after more than 6 years of saving. After a few months it resulted in snide comments from SIL to me about how we 'must have lots of money' (we definitely haven't) and also comments whenever we purchased anything for the house, which would make me feel guilty.
Everything they said suggested that they were really struggling and they'd often use DDs to gain sympathy. I used to think it was strange that they would claim to be so poor but would go OTT at Birthdays and Xmas for DDs. Also SIL & BIL live on a military base in the South West so they pay relatively little in the way of accomodation costs.
Anyway, about a week ago, after a few drinks, SIL was telling me about how terrible their car is and that they can't afford the small repairs it needed. I challenged her and said they must be able to afford it as their rent is so cheap and they say they have trimmed all their other costs. SIL then admitted that they could afford it but didn't want to - she then told me that they have got over £30k in an account and showed me a receipt statement to prove it. I felt uncomfortable about her revealing so much detail so I moved the conversation quickly on. It was only the next day that I began to become so annoyed.
AIBU to feel like I have been lied to? Their finances are none of my business but it is all they ever talk about. I feel like DH & I have been fools for helping them when they had much more money than us the whole time. It feels more of an insult as we saved hard for 6 years but we never asked for help or sympathy. They've always said they have no money or savings, so to be so smugly shown that was not very nice.