To want to LTB?

[somfycofa]

In an argument with DH last night, he said he's unhappy with his life because he never gets to see his friends (not my fault - we moved south for his work) and that he sacrificed everything by having a child with me that he didn't really want! That's news to me and I'm fucking livid.

Wow - what horrible things to say.
Are you working?
If not, can you go back to friends or family for the weekend just to clear your head?

OP when my first child was 1 or so my dh took a option that I had curtailed his life, that he would have been able to follow his dreams if not for me. He stopped speaking to me for months. On one level it was pretty upsetting but he has since had several bouts of depression and I think that is what that was too. He adores our children and in the good times (which far outweigh the bad) he is the best partner and father. Is it possible your DP is going through something similar?

A notion! Not an option

I was where your DH is a few months ago. We work ft and have a toddler and no outside help. One day I burst in tears and told my DH that I regretted having our child and how much better our life would have been without children. Thank god my DH handled it well and told me that a lot of parents have been there and things will get easier. I never had a bad day since I opened up to DH and I enjoy parenting much more than before. Having said that, we both pull our weight with housework and parenting and try to support each other. Maybe your husband is just frustrated by the challenges of parenthood but expressed himself in an immature way?

Wow, that would be shocking to hear from a partner who you have planned your life with including your child. Could he be depressed or struggling at work?

You have moved your whole life to follow him for his career and it seems as if he hasn’t adjusted well. It may be time for some marital counseling and some heart to hearts over dinner and date nights.

Maybe some solo time before that happens so you can stop wanting to take him out from his comments.

Yeah, just write a note saying go fuck yourself and pop it on his suitcase rather than having a conversation like grown ups...

Meanwhile back in the real world, you need to know whether he really means what he said.
If he did then you can pack him a suitcase. If he didn’t then he’s still a dick and treated you like shit but maybe you can work through it.

Actually, he can pack his own bloody suitcase!

He’s basically asked you to dump him. Oblige!

It sounds as though he's laying the groundwork for you to leave him?

Marriages aren't easy, there are many ups and downs. So I'm reluctant to tell you just LTB without a backward glance, that said, I also don't think you should bend over backwards trying to make it work with someone who clearly has no will to reciprocate.

When you truly introspect, do you feel like you want out of the marriage? All things being equal - is this a thought that has ever occurred to you?