To think being the eldesr has practically zero advantages

[sunshineinabag]

All this Xmas talk makes me realise the one benefit of being the eldest: still getting stockings well past the non believing age so your parents can keep the fantasy alive for the younger ones. YES!!!!

But other than that being the eldest sucks. Fighting every little battle first re staying out etc. The sad solitude of leaving your childhood behind whilst the younger ones continue being kids. Clashes with parents. Extra responsibility and chores.

New stuff and not hand me downs.

The moral high ground.

Individual attention from your parents for your first few months / years without siblings

Just have one child then, problem solved :)

It sucks most of the time. But one of the benefits, I think, is being keeper of the family history. I remember them all as babies

Sorry to disagree with you but as the middle child I’m waving the flag for shittiest family status.
Older brother was absolutely adored and could do no wrong, had zero rules and subsequently got into a lot of trouble. Cue myself being pretty much on house arrest to stop me repeating said carnage.
Younger child pretty much always the baby of the family whatever age he achieved and therefore never to blame for anything, everything he did was surely my fault for not watching or stopping him.

The biggest bedroom.

I loved being the eldest. Still do.

However I am very bossy

@AnneLovesGilbert
True. And in my own case, my mother had a very rocky start and her circumstances gradually improved drastically.
Theres something nice about the feeling that you were there first- that you and her have a very different early past and were alone together during the hard times 😊

Baby photos. There are never any of Baby 2 and 3!

Complete opposite with my 3.
My oldest (12) is loving the freedom that comes with age.

It's my middle one that suffers because she still needs to be picked up from school/can't meet her mates at Starbucks/yadda yadda and don't we all know about it

My youngest is 3, so far too young to care that she's been left behind by DD1.

"Baby photos. There are never any of Baby 2 and 3!"

I never understand people who do this. I took plenty of pictures of all my kids.

Good point on baby photos. I have bags full of me!

That's an interesting one OP. For me, probably balanced out by being the oldest and female, when my parents split I became default shoulder to cry on, budgeter and helper.

That dynamic's still in place and they ring to ask me how she is rather than call her. I'm next of kin, keeper of living will and other heavy legal stuff.

Stuff wise, we had very little money for years and my mum was at uni when I was, so materially I missed out when things were better as I'd moved out. I was working when she was holidaying with the younger ones. I don't think I missed much but she's often said she feels bad about it. Siblings got allowances, trips away, more stuff, help with studying. I've worked since I was 15 and still want to contribute while one brother in particular in one crisis or another and on the take.

It's not necessarily worse. I like being independent. But it's different.

My DM always did us stockings, right up until when she died - I was 25! We all had them in our new Christmas pyjamas at the end of the day

(She died v unexpectedly just before Christmas and I will say that going through her stuff and finding bags of wrapped and unwrapped presents broke me - argh sorry to be Debbie downer!!).

😂 at the biggest bedroom.

And as the first to move out anything I didn't take to uni was claimed by the others or put in the attic. I don't know any oldests who kept their room to come back to.

I'm sort of the eldest and sort of the middle child as I have a half brother who lived with us until I was 8 and then moved in with his mother.

I got the big bedroom with an ensuite - and kept it during and after uni! - BUT I never got to stay up later; I felt my younger brother got spoiled for being the baby; he got way more pocket money and tooth fairy money than I did; I was always expected to be the sensible one; younger brother got away with far more than me in terms of teenage beers and going out with his mates.

So fine being the eldest - but the baby gets an easier ride!

Statistically, the oldest child is academically superior, the highest earner, and the most successful. (Study by University of Essex)

Only benefit I felt in being the eldest was being able to leave home the soonest. The middle one was definitely the favourite. Still is.

My dear sister helped herself to everything when I went off to nurse training, clothes, jewellery the lot and moved into my bedroom so I had to squeeze into the box room along with all the clutter.
My mother told me 'You'll never live here again ' the day I moved.....lovely to hear (not).
Hated being the oldest of three (twins two years younger), still no fun in my 60's ☹️

I'm the eldest of 2, have always wanted to be an only child (still do!)

The advantages were: bigger bedroom, stockings for longer, 22 months of undivided parental attention.

Downsides were: not allowed to walk home from school alone because my sister needed picking up so mum always there anyway, my sister was babied more, having an annoying little sister who wound me up until I hit her then told tales, always being the bad guy if we fought, she got to do things at a younger age because I was doing them

Plus extra downsides of my particular sister (were NC as adults).

Statistically, the oldest child is academically superior, the highest earner, and the most successful. (Study by University of Essex)

This is laughably untrue in my family.

She did get the biggest bedroom and no hand me downs though 😂

I reckon I’ve benefitted massively from being the eldest! My mum’s convinced that I’m still the favourite grandchild (being first born on both sides of the family) - despite being the eldest cousin by less than a year I’m the one who’s been given heirloom jewellery, lovely flowers etc while the rest get given sweets and cash! Moving out of home I was given loads of house stuff, an old hoover, rugs, utensils, so obviously that wasn’t available to the rest although I have passed things down. Everything I achieved always seemed amazing to my parents and perhaps the novelty wore off when it came to my siblings (even though they are arguably far more sensible and successful).

Sure I had to fight the battles over hometime, pocket money etc but my brother always had my back knowing his time was only a few years off he was the one who tried to campaign for me to get a car for my 18th, because he wanted one for his too. He didn’t win that one but the effort was endearing, I know he felt a huge amount of pressure at school to live up to my standards whereas I had no one to judge myself against.

I wonder how long 'well past the non believing age' is.

Biggest room/first pick of things/undivided attention when you're the only child for a while/you're the first to do everything so it's more special because your parents have never seen it before.. the eldest is the favourite in a lot of families I know!
I think the middle child has it the worse.. otherwise I think everyone is an individual and its just how different families see their kids.

Depends entirely on your parents and how they show (or not) favoritism and to whom.

In my family, the oldest is the golden child. My mum claims this (she was oldest), she treats my older sister a whole load better than me, I heard her tell my older niece that the firstborn is always special etc etc.

Older sis, compared to me: bigger bedroom, new toys, held up as a paragon I should copy, her choices count for more because she's older (I'm 48, this still happens), got stockings etc until she went to college, but they stopped when she left even though I was still at home, always gets first turn, first choice etc, her children are more important than mine etc etc.

So - really it has nothing to do with being the oldest, and everything to do with my mum's favoritism (which stems from her younger brother usurping her because boys are better, I'm sure).

DSis also gets LOADS more time/money support from parents, although she doesn't work and is married to a multi-millionaire. I work FT and we get very little in comparison.