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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm confused

4 replies

drainsup · 16/11/2017 18:00

I need some perspective please. A few months ago, my new DH's child who is an adult with a child of her own, physically assaulted me and I narrowly avoided a serious facial disfigurement. My Dh protected me so no physical harm done. The child went to police and complained that he was the attacker. It all got very unpleasant, he was detained for many hours and released without charge. Cause he'd done nothing wrong. He then had an injunction served but he challenged the lies and it was withdrawn and said child got a ticking off about wasting police time and contempt of court. They have no contact as he says he can't forgive her and I will never have anything to do with her again. All this over jealousy and the perception of loss of control. However, DH desperately misses his granddaughter and has resumed weekly contact by taking the child out for a few hours. I'm very pleased as he's a doting granddad and frankly, the little girl could do with some of his influence in her life.

I feel really uneasy as DH doesn't speak much about the contact with his daughter though. In fact he closes down the discussion and I don't find it very reassuring. One of his close friends of 20 years who has witnessed his daughters appalling behaviour over all these years says it's the start of her trying to manipulate him and wheedle her way back in. I've no right to interfere in his relationship with his daughter and I never have done. I've said if he chooses to start contact with her again, that's his choice, saying it is one thing, I feel it will put a wedge in between us though. My own three kids and wider family have been put through hell over her attacking me. My DH's family have cut all ties with his daughter.

I feel that my marriage would be compromised if he chose to resume relations with her.

Aibu to feel the way I do? I hate that I can't forgive what she has put her father through

OP posts:
elmo1980 · 16/11/2017 18:12

I'm a bit confused too. So your dh's daughter attacked you then went to the police saying that it was your dh who did the attacking?

Yanbu to not want any contact with her again but she is his daughter regardless of anything awful she may have done. Plus he probably doesn't want to risk future relations with his granddaughter.

drainsup · 16/11/2017 18:16

Sorry to be confusing. She attacked me but she went to police and said he'd attacked her.

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Jellycatspyjamas · 16/11/2017 18:19

How old is his DD, you say she's an adult with a child and then talk about her being "the child". Did you report her assault on you?

drainsup · 16/11/2017 18:28

Mid twenties but very immature. I reported the incident but asked for no action because she has a daughter of her own to look out for. I reported it as we had to endure a social media hate vendetta and damage against our property. Things were escalating although police advised me to press charges, I wouldn't put Dh in a position of giving evidence against her but he then ended up having to, to clear his name.

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