To be gutted at losing out on internal role

[jellymum1704]

To give a bit of background, have been with company for 5 years, decent pay, flexible hours , great boss etc but I’ve been in the same role for about 4 years of which 1 year was maternity leave. I applied and interviewed for a new role in the department which although is in a different function but knew I can perform in as I have transferable skills. I’ve been rated a high performer consistently and receive great feedback but the role was offered to a colleague who is on a Fixed term contract who they want to retain. I’m not entirely sure of his skills as I haven’t worked with him but know he’s very popular in the short time he’s been in the team. I can’t help feel gutted as I feel I would’ve been a perfect fit but feel the interview was pointless as they probably were to offer to him anyways. I’m 8 weeks pregnant with 2nd so doesn’t make sense to look for a new job outside. If i were to return to the same role post may leave I’ll probably have the option to work flexibly as my boss is great. Should I suck my pride and stick to my boring job I’m great at after mat leave as not working isn’t an option for me? If I move to a new company, I might not get the flexibility I desperately need with very young DCs. I haven’t stopped crying since I got feedback, was working from
home fortunately. I feel like an utter failure and stuck in my situation, I’ll probably feel differently after maternity leave but would really like some handholding please.

Do you think you've been treated unfairly? If so then I'd leave when back from maternity leave. Otherwise, if it's just hurt pride, stay put, there are always more candidates than positions so some people will necessarily lose out, it doesn't mean they don't value you or consider you good enough. Next time you might have better luck.

It’s hard but I would be using this as an opportunity to speak to your manager about your development plan. Staying in the same role forever clearly wouldn’t suit you, so if you want to stay with this company then this is another way forward.

I had a similar experience except me and the other candidate were both zero hours employees (FE teaching) and he got the job- our manager even said to me during interview there was no point me applying for it. And so did the guy who got the job! His exact words “out of the two of us I think i’ll get it because.....”

Not unreasonable to be hurt, I got passed over earlier this year for a promotion management had encouraged me to apply for. Being rejected professionally by management who know what you are capable of is, imo, more hurtful than getting turned down for a job as an external candidate where they don't know you.

I had a few days of moping at home (still doing my job properly whilst there, suffice to say), then braced myself. Got the feedback on where I went wrong so I could get it right next time. Fast forward to now - I've got another promotion with them, a different role that is actually more my thing anyway, and I honestly believe the feedback I got on where I went wrong last time helped me smash my application and interview this time.

If you like your employer overall and it's a good environment for you, flexible working, all the rest of it, please don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Lick your wounds, let yourself feel hurt but then get something out of it. The positive sentiments expressed in your appraisals haven't gone away.

Hope that helps. Good luck for the future xxxxx