If you had an immature 4 year old, did they turn out ok?

[TwinklyGiraffe]

Hopefully not BU to ask?!

So before someone says, 4 is still immature but hopefully you’ll understand what what i mean!

My son has just started school and the teacher has expressed concerns about immature behaviour, lack of concentration and attention, being very quiet but following and copying the most boisterous boy in the class. Every week there is an incident of some sort.

Teacher is keeping an eye on him with regard to SEN I suppose, just said keeping an eye so I assume this is what she means.

I don’t see the his side of him at home.

My question is, did anyone here have problems when their older started school that resolved when they got into the sing of school?

Did he experience any other childcare before school. It may be it is a bit much for him at the moment if he has never had another adult directing him? If he didn't then he's probably just settling in still and trying to make sense of what school is all about.

Yes. My own child and dozens of the children I’ve taught over the years. It’s too early to tell. Support the school, support your son and there is every chance these issues will resolve themselves as he matures.

Had 2 years of preschool before starting school.

Mmmm. We deferred (Scotland) so DD1 is having an additional year of nursery. She is Sep born.

She is registered at the local catchment school for starting P1 next year....but...the nursery may be extending their provision to 7 in line with the Upstart campaign. If so, we will keep her there as the pedagogy (outdoor forest school) is more developmentally appropriate than a mainstream CfE Scottish school.

It's sad because they are still only little, yes they are immature as they are only 4! That is why in some counties, schooling starts later.

rainy reassuring thanks, I dread the thought of him being labelled as a naughty child

My DS now 13 "displayed immature behaviour" in school until more or less the end of infants. Despite playschool and nursery before hand there was something about school that completely overwhelmed him. He would even occasionally curl up in different places (reading corner in the class room, the "wild area" of the playground) for naps.

They worried about him for a while and his teacher in Y1 was convinced he had SEN, which we investigated. I just think he wasn't ready for such an intense educational environment until he was 6/7.

He is 13 now and doing extremely well in school and after a rather long phase of temper tantrums through 9-11 he is maturing into a thoughtful and perfectly "normal" teen.

Yes, DS he's now 19 and still very immature. Wasn't diagnosed on the spectrum until a couple of years ago but I genuinely don't think that's it. He did very well in his exams and so far is doing very well in Uni.

Yep..I had an 'immature' 4 year old, as well! He's 11 now, and has caught up maturity wise...he's quite sensible and responsible. The bonus is that his immaturity means he's still a bit playful and quite funny...which i don't ever want him to grow out of! Don't worry!

My brother was a bit like you describe - very easily bored, very immature (but very upon in the year), very limited concentration span both at home and school.

He did grow out of it and is now a perfectly normal 35 year old! He has a job which is extremely varied and involves a lot of outdoor work which he has excelled at. Not sure how he would fair in an office environment though!

4 is so young still - give him time.

In most european countries children do no formal learning until 6. The UK approach goes completely against best practice in most countries - 4 year olds are meant to bounce around and be silly or curl up whrn they feel like it and go to sleep! They are still very young.

Your child is normal in a stupid system

MakeMisogyny I take it you mean, not that your son's behaviour has improved but that it's now normal for a teen

I've seen it often, OP, four is very young to be expected to sit still and follow all the rules. If you haven't had any worries at home there's probably no need to fret.

Besides, maybe the teacher's just too strict. I've seen that happen too!

Yes my son was like that, in fact he was like it much of his primary years. Once older in year 7 onwards, he matured and caught up academically. Now studying for A Levels having got excellent GCSE grades!

Stand
Yes!
I now realise "I didn't aaaaaaask to be born" is not a cliche.

My immature 4 year old is the most sensible and wise 15 year old I know.

Back in the 1980s, my mum used to dread picking my DB up from school at age 4/5. His teacher described him as a “lout” and to be fair, his behaviour was pretty awful.
My DB is wonderful now and probably has been since around age 6/7.

My son is exactly the same I would not say he is immature I mean he's 4

Kids do copy each other not all but lots do

Some kids take longer to come out of their shell and interact

Some kids are quieter than others nothing wrong in that

Children develop in different stages some are more confident than others, some are leaders some will follow I don't see the harm

I have a friend who's daughter is very mature for her age and I tbh I'd much prefer my ds not to do and say the things she does

Mine is 23 now. He is mature and responsible. He has graduated from uni and has a good job, lives in an immaculate house and is totally respectable!! He could be a little devil at 4!

OP, I had the same issue with my Dd. Teacher said lack of concentration, she talks too much... and assessed her for SEN.
They identified that there was nothing wrong with her. She had just started in a new school. After a couple of months, she settled down.

Let the school carry out the assessment but also do give it time. Kids may act odd under pressure.

A new environment can be stressful.

We deferred and it has been a very positive decision. He's not lacking in intelligence (though common sense is a whole different topic), he's never been in trouble at school, he's perfectly self-assured now but he needed that extra bit of time to develop emotionally. I'd consider it.