To not invite the whole class?

[FruitCider]

It’s DChilds birthday soon and we are hiring a soft play for their party. The teacher seemed a bit aghast when I put invites into the kids book bags this morning, apparently it’s “not the done thing” and “at this age people tend to invite the whole class”.

DChild only wanted to invite 14 from school in total and some of those aren’t in her class. Have I made a massive error?!?! Completely stressing about it now!

Inappropriate for you to:

A) bring them to school if you're not inviting the whole class; and

B) put your own communications in their book bags. I would also be annoyed if i walked in on a parent apparently rummaging through other people's bags. Just because they are 5 doesn't mean their belongings are fine to be interfered with by any nearby adult.

If you're only inviting a handful of kids- post the invitations or end emails etc.

As for who to invite, that's up to you.

It’s not the done thing for parents to put things in book bags in any school I’ve ever worked in! If it was my classroom, I would have said no.

Don’t partially quote my sentence to suit your own agenda, the teacher was fine with me putting them in book bags and looked aghast when I only invited 8 children!

Tbh Imo if it is excluding others in the class then the school should not be used to distribute your invites

* If you're only inviting a handful of kids- post the invitations or end emails etc.*

Do you usually ask children their home address? I certainly don’t!

some people seem to think it's ok to open other children's bookbags! No, it's not!

Same in my kids schools. These bags are kept in the class, and no parent can rummage in them anyway. Rucksacks and private bags are kept with the coats, but bookbags are out of reach.

It's bad form to hand over invitation on the playground when you only invite a select few. Private parties should be kept out of schools.

As a teacher I would never hand out invitations for a parent. I’m not your lackey or social organiser.

That remind me of a company where HR had to send a stern email to everybody basically advising that it was not appropriate and allowed to start giving out wedding invitations in the office. Things were just getting out of hand.
It was funny. Some people never grow up

It's your child and your party. I was always guided by my children and who they wanted to invite. Usually after about five or six names they struggled to consistently name the same people at about four and five.

It's not up to the teacher, or other parents to pass judgement on your party. There are many reasons why you have invited fourteen people. Don't feel guilty or be pushed about! 😃

As a class teacher I wouldn't allow you to give out invites in school unless you invite all the class. I'm not your social secretary and I'm not going to deal with the fallout of kids being upset they didn't get an invite. Different in your case because she did let you, I'm just surprised she did.

One parent tried to sneak them into bags before, I took them out again and handed them all back to the party organiser at home time. Some people just think rules don't apply to them!

Ps it was however not your place to put the invites in the book bags. Give them out before or after school!

Another one saying teachers are not there to sort out party invitations. Give the invitations out on your own time and not via school book bags.

Invites are usually sent out in book bags at my DCs school, normally handed to the teacher to put in, however if they have a parent helper in (like the OP to do reading), then they are often given the jobs like putting envelopes in the book bags. Random parents can't get at the book bags, but a parent helper doing it is perfectly normal.

Do you all have only the teachers /TAs putting all the letters in book bags? How are parent helpers supposed to hear children read if they can't go into their book bags to get the reading books?

I've never known parent helpers go to individual book bags, when a child is asked to read they go and get their own books.

YANBU. Unless of course you're inviting every child except one, or all the girls aside from Mary.

In my FS class lots of people invite the whole class, but lots don't. Especially if they are having a trip to jump giants or planet bounce....ignore this teacher, it's not her business.

The OP made it the teachers' business by opening the kids book bags at at school. Totally inappropriate.

Inviting only a few is fine, putting things in other people's bags not.

Oh, I'd missed that bit... We quite happily put them in the children's book bags for parents, whether it's 30 or 4 invitations.