The Macmillan cancer adverts

[LionsTeeth]

They just give me the rage “a Mum with cancer is still a Mum”. Well, obviously!
Perhaps I’m completely missing the point of them but my god do they make me angry.
It can’t just be me who finds them in poor taste?

'I hope you don’t mind me asking, but as you’ve clearly looked in to which (cancer) charitypies to support, I was wondering what you thought of Bloodwise'

Now that's one that's relatively new on the radar to me so tbh, I don't know enough to give an opinion. I give to/volunteer for a couple of smaller charities that provide incredible breaks for families of children with cancer and those families who are bereaved and also CLICSargent. CRUK does have a CRUK children and teens, but you must specify your donation is for that or it goes to the general CRUK which, and this has been a huge bone of contention for many paed cancer families, uses children in the majority of their advertising but only delegates 4% of funds raised to paediatric cancer. Brain Tumour Charity is another good one. And Pancreatic Cancer UK. Paed cancers, brain cancers and pancreatic cancers are appallingly funded and thus have appalling survival rates (possible exception of paediatric ALL - NOT infantile ALL - but even that is not curable for all).

I agree, GreatStar. It's stupid language, especially because plenty of children and even babies get cancer. What are they then, child soldiers? Baby warriors? If they die it's because they didn't fight hard enough for their lives, weren't positive enough?

@CindyCrawford2 I’m sorry your Mum and you went through that. My mum’s district nurse was horrific, refused to give her pain relief and the only reason she did it was because my uncle specialises in palliative care and wrote the Scottish guidelines on it and basically told her to. She’s no longer a district nurse after we filed a formal complaint about abuse of power.
Seeing your mum in absolute agony is the most horrific thing, it just shouldn’t ever happen. I’ve been there, I understand and I am so very sorry it happened to your and your mum.

I don't mind the adverts, I get the message. DM has incurable cancer, after diagnosis it was all that we talked about, thought about, kept us awake at night thinking about, then you remember she's still your mum, still there to give advice, help you out, play with her grandchildren, cancer is second to being a mum but it can be hard to think like that after initial diagnosis.

And now she isn't suitable for any further treatment she is under the care of a wonderful Macmillan nurse, he visits weekly without fail and advocates for her with the hospital to get things checked/looked into, can't fault them at all.

@expatinscotland

I thought you might have come across them. It’s the new name of Leukaemia and Lymphoma Research.

They seem to have a lot of charity places in running events and I was thinking about a half marathon for them, if I am fit/well enough.

I tend to agree.
Give to your local hospice!!

Aha, I thought I'd heard of that, IV. I'll do more digging. I'm just now able to do 'stuff' IYKWIM since DD1's death. Was pretty much in a fog the first 2 years and devastated (still am) the next 3.

Notreallyarsed - thanks so much for your kind words, it means so much to me. I go over and over it in my mind everyday and I just sort of got carried away on here earlier - I didn't want to upset anybody. From the sounds of it we experienced a very similar attitude from the District Nurses - abuse of power sums it up exactly. We begged them to let us give mum some morphine near the end (we had the "comfort" drugs as they called them, ready in the cupboard). They refused to let us until the last minute, when it was discovered we had been given the "wrong" type of morphine by the Pharmacist and we could not use it. If only one of them had bothered to check these drugs, as they were supposed to do, on one of their frequent visits during the last few weeks of her life or had not made us wait until the last minute - they could not look me in the eye afterwards and quickly scurried away, leaving me alone with my poor mum waiting for the Doctor to arrive. I wish I had got one of them sacked but when they held their inquiry I was too grief stricken to attend and I did not want to let any of them set foot in my house ever again. You sound like a really brave person and I am sorry for the loss of your mum and what you also went through. I thought I might get slated on here for complaining about District Nurses so your support means a lot to me. Thanks x

In a previous role I used to bid for Macmillan funding. They write into their contracts that all of the projects they pump prime, for example, information centres or specialist nurse posts have to be called "Macmillan" in perpetuity. The actual funding for specialist nurses is usually 50% in the first year, 30% in the second and 20 in the third.

So Yes, Macmillan Nurses are "funded" almost entirely by the NHS.

Macmillan nurses don't ever provide hands-on care either, despite what the adverts would have people believe.

A lot of Macmillan's money goes on giving grants - this was the original aim of the charity when it was first set up. They give up to £400 a time to the most needy but there are strict guidelines on who they give to. I work for macmillan ( well my post is funded by them ), but I get paid peanuts considering the level of skill knowledge I need and the fact that I am dealing with distressed people all day in terrible situations. I am not a macmillan Nurse As other have said Macmillan nurses are only funded by macmillan for a short time then the NHS trusts take over . I do think a lot of their money is wasted ( probably on advertising ! )

A dear friend of mine was terminally ill but still loved to exercise. She was told by her Macmillan nurse that she shouldn't bother as it wasn't going to make any difference.

@CindyCrawford2 how horrific for you and for your Mum there really aren’t words.
I wish I’d been strong enough to challenge her, I spent hours begging her to help my mum and she just didn’t give a shit. Witnessing my poor dad in such distress being barked at for being so upset was awful. Literally the only reason she backed down was my uncle who walked in and said “see that book you have on palliative care? Can you tell me the name of the author?” She did and he stuck out his hand and said “nice to meet you, now do your job and help my SIL. NOW!” Otherwise I dread to think how long it would have continued.
It is unforgivable not to give people the kindest, pain free, dignified end of life care IMO.
I am so very sorry for what you and your Mum went through

It was my family who sorted the complaint, like you I was completely grief stricken and barely able to function.

@expatinscotland I'm so sorry
and to the other posters who've lost a loved one

I actually really like the campaign. A lot of people forgot I was still a 21 year old when I had cancer. It’s easy to stop being you when you get ill.

Brave the shave on the other hand....

I agree that the big charities are basically a money-making exercise, and the Macmillan approach is designed to do exactly that. There also seems to be a huge element of 'look how good I am shaving/baking for Macmillan'. That info above about the Macmillan name being in perpetuity while the funding runs out after 3 years is shocking.

I run a small charity, we give every penny in every £ to our cause (glioblastoma research, google Charlotte Eades if you are interested) - no salaries, no overheads, anything we need to buy we pay for ourselves. Sometimes I give talks to various groups, and this is something that really strikes a chord with people.

On a slightly related note, I watched the DIY SOS the other night about the Roots Foundation in Swansea which supports young careleavers - I've donated to them directly, rather than via CIN. I prefer to think that those on the ground have a better idea of how to spend the money than those that need offices, high earning staff blah blah.

Notreallyarsed flowers to you too (sorry don't know how to insert them - I am rubbish at technology) Your poor family - your story is so similar to ours - I too spent hours literally begging them to help my mum and being ordered to "calm down". Thank goodness you had your Uncle - he sounds amazing. No-one should have to go through what we all did, espcially our poor mums, I agree its unforgivable. Best wishes to you and your family x

@CindyCrawford2 thank you.
You’re right, nobody should suffer that way. I was barked at for being “hysterical” (I wasn’t, but I was crying by that point because I’d spent 13 hours listening to my poor lovely mum crying in pain). I wish there was something more that could be done!

@expatinscotland

Paed cancers, brain cancers and pancreatic cancers are appallingly funded

Why is this? I don't understand it! Do you know? Sorry if I'm being thick here.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I like the 'lets kick cancers butts' adverts, I would like to kick cancers butt for taking my mum away from me.

However

Macmillan can kindly go and get lost for treating my mum in an appalling manner, we had a nurse allocated who turned up once or twice in a month that we had mum at home. It was a good job we had a nurse in the family who helped us through, in the end she was surrounded by love. If we hadnt of had that support I dont know what would of happened.

Ex those stats are shocking. Is there any decent charity that supports childhood cancer?

That advert makes me cry, my mam had breast cancer two years ago. It was a shit year for all the family and she was like a ghost not my normal strong mam. She's in remission but there was no fight just misery and a bit luck.

I'm so sorry to anyone who's lost a loved one

robotic the simple answer to underfunding of paed, brain and pancreatic cancers is that they are the hardest ones to crack. Also because they are (relatively) rare there are not enough patients to present statistically significant data, which makes securing funding even harder.

Have to turn them off. Been there with dying partner, completely agree with AlexaAmbidextra. Let us down, I still get flashbacks.